Household chores

[maxinebr]

Hey ladies I need advice. So my fiancé and I are talking and he wants me to remind him to clean the bathroom/kitchen. Now he only works 2 days a week and he's always home. If he sees something needs to be cleaned he doesn't do it. I have to ask. Just recently I decided that I would see how long he'll go before cleaning the bathroom. I eventually gave in and did it myself. I'm trying to explain to him that we both see things need to be done. And instead of knocking it out I have to ask/remind him.

Like am I be unreasonable for not wanting to ask for those things??

If he can’t remember then he needs to set a reoccurring reminder on his phone.

Just last week he comes home and went straight in the room. I got off work washed my hair and went out for a few came bk with food and fixed everyone's plate. He ate and got in the bed. Didn't even try to get up and do the dishes.

You're not actually going to marry this idiot, are you? He barely works and doesn't do anything else. You're his mum, not his partner.

And you’re engaged to this man? Time to sit down, lay out expectations and tell him the wedding is on hold until he stops acting like a complete prick

I second reminders on his phone. Or he can pay for a cleaner. That was DH’s solution.

Why does he only work 2 days a week?

Do you need to remind him to wipe his arse?

Or is he, actually, a functioning adult? It doesn't sound like it, and I wouldn't marry him. My teenage son works more than 2 days a week, love. And he can clean up after himself.

He doesn't want to make himself too available for his boss. And told him to weekends he can't work. So he basically tells his boss when he can and can't work.

My teenagers can remember to do things every week why the fuck does a grown man need "reminding" to do something? Does he forget to go to work?

Do not marry him unless he completely changes his attitude. He is a lazy arse.

You and his boss have a lot in common it seems. You're both mugs.

Nope but he need me to tell him when to clean. I don't ask him to cook I don't mind cooking but I'm not going to do it all

So if you didn’t remind him to eat, would he starve to death? No, obviously not.

Tell to shape up or ship out.

This. Bloody hell OP where are your standards? He sounds like such a looser , what are you doing wasting your time here?

What % of the household bills does he pay?

I have to make a compromise so we don't argue 😴. His words smh

You know exactly what you're signing up for if you make the ridiculous choice to marry this dickhead.
Raise your standards and get rid of this utter embarrassment.

Right.

Dump him. You'll never argue with him again. And raise your standards a long, long way!

No. You don't have to lower your standards to avoid arguments.

He needs to grow the fuck up if he wants to marry you.

Don't marry someone who doesn't know to clean up after themselves. He will not get better with age or marriage, he will get worse.

Oh come on, you can't be this desperate for a man surely?

He's lazy, doesn't want to work (much) so is happy to coast along while you work full time so you are doing most of the physical as well as the financial work in the relationship.

Why oh why does this seem like a worthwhile relationship to you?

If you marry this guy you really need your head examined.

Don't marry this man.
It'll only get worse.

As I right that when he does it he says he is "helping" you?

Basically he's saying it's your responsibility isn't he. You notice, he does, your responsibility. He notices, he does, his responsibility.

It won't get any better. Especially if you have to not complain to prevent arguments! Again, your responsibility.... are you seeing the pattern?

He won't lift a finger once you're married, and he will be one of those "great dads" who doesn't actually parent their children (because that's "your responsibility", along with cleaning the toilet).

Go and have a read of some -almost any-- of the threads on the Relationships board for a glimpse of what your life will almost certainly turn into.

He won't magically change. He really, really won't

Please don't marry him. There are plenty of actual adult, functioning males out there. Find one of them.

Throw him back and don’t let him waste anymore of your time.