To want go a weekend away for my daughters 18th

[Harry12345]

I’ve got 3 sons. One daughter who I’m really close with. She’s close to my partner, her Dad but he still talks to her as if she is 12, moans at her, constantly asks her to do things for him, takes the mick out of her and isn’t the most nurturing tbh. My partner is also quite moody and bad tempered at times which I find hard work. Anyway I’d love to take my daughter away for the weekend to another city somewhere. I told my partner this and he’s went in a mood as he wants to go. It would be a totally different dynamic and not as fun for my daughter going with mum and dad and also we are more like friends. I’ve said to him he should go with his brother or son somewhere but he’s in a really bad mood. He wasn’t taken anywhere as a child whilst his mum and dad went away every year. I feel like his response to me saying I want to go with just my daughter is through issues from his childhood and being left but that’s not my problem. I don’t feel I’m being unreasonable to want one weekend away with my daughter. He’s just making it all about him and him wanting to go away not about spending time with us. I feel like I need a break from him due to his moods. AIBU?

So book it and go. He cant force you to stay at home.

My dd is 22 now we have been to Paris , London and Budapest just us 2, probably going to Lisbon in July too. We have a fantastic time , definitely don't let your partner go , he is being childish and petty. You will have a great time!

YABU to carry on being with this nasty man.

Tell him to get to feck!

Book it and go 🤷‍♀️….. I’ve had loads of girly trips with my DD ….there’s no problem

Your partner sounds awful. Why would he begrudge a weekend with your child? There’s no possible answer to that which doesn’t show what sort of person he is.

You deserve better than constantly exhausting yourself stepping on eggshells around this man.

My only issue is your opening statement of “I’ve got 3 sons but very close to my daughter. Hope your offering the same to yours sons as you are her.

You have much bigger issues than just this one weekend. It's hard to understand why you're even with this twat to begin with.

What does your daughter want? Does she want her dad to come?

YANBU

Tell him you'll happily have a weekend away with him after or even before the weekend with your daughter.

Then sit back and wait. While he does nothing.

Then you've got what you originally wanted!

Is she really "close" to him? He doesn't sound like a kind or loving dad at all. I can't imagine she would enjoy celebrating her big birthday with him given how he treats her. Quite honestly, I can't imagine it would be fun for you either, he sounds horrible.

Tell him it's a girls weekend!

Why are you treating your dd differently to your sons?

I wouldn't take one of my children away for their 18th unless I'd offered (or was going to offer) to do the same for the other dc.

That said, your partner sounds like an idiot

What does your DD want? I wouldnt want to take my DD away for her 18th without my DH, her Dad, but we are all really close and loving and no one is grumpy with each other.

However, I would absolutely take my DD away outside of her birthday. Like the following week or any time that wasn't her actual birthday.

My daughter is going with my DH when her exams finish, like your daughters 18th I'd consider it a special occasion.
They often holiday together . I go separately later in the year it doesn't bother me at all. He does more " fun" things, I also on the beach all day which is her idea of hell

Yes I am, they would have no interest in coming with me at all hehe

No she wants it to be just us

My sons would have no desire or interest in coming away with us/me

Book it.

He has a cheek to assume he’s welcome when clearly he isn’t - that’s on him not you.

Just book and go your DD will only be 18 once and it's what she wants. Tell sulky you want to go away on a weekend with him on another occasion.

Did you/will you offer the sons the same at the same age though?

it does seem like there is some favouritism here

I did, my other ones in primary school

To answer the repeated question about favouritism, my sons would not want to do a city break with me as much as I would love to with them. I love my children equally but have different relationships with them

YANBU whatsoever - go and enjoy yourself with your DD, she only turns 18 once! DD and I went to London for a weekend away when she turned 18 and we both had a great time celebrating. No reason to feel guilty or pander to your DH’s frankly bizarre feelings on this - go ahead and book, who cares what he thinks

Thinking back I didn’t even tell DH that we were going, we just went 🤣

Tell your husband he should work on being better company then people might want him around more.

exactly! I’ve have said that but he just grumps more, he really lacks the ability to reflect tbh and is very defensive 😖

Here's your answer.

When DP moans he wants to go - "well its for DD birthday, and she would prefer it just me and her - girls trip, Her birthday - her decision. When its your birthday - you can decide who goes on your birthday trip"

If he moans - tough sh*t - suck it up and stop being such a dick (still talks to her as if she is 12, moans at her, constantly asks her to do things for him, takes the mick out of her and isn’t the most nurturing) - maybe if he weren't like this she would have wanted him to go... maybe he needs to take a look at himself.