To not understand this (Mothers day)

[MaybeM]

Hello,

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable but there's been a lot of posts saying happy Mother's Day to soon to be mothers, mothers who have lost children, fur mothers whatever and that I understand and that it's inclusive to maybe people who have experienced loss or see their pets as babies or whatever really .. which is fair enough.

But then they say " to those who have chosen not to be mothers" I understand it if certain circumstances such as infertility had caused someone to make that choice but if someone is child free by choice (no complications just don't want kids) why would they want to be included in Mother's Day? (Apart from celebrating with their own mums obviously)

Am I missing something? I know in the grand scheme of things it's a non issue but I just don't get it.

Maybe I’m wrong but I’d take it to mean women who have had a termination. Some of them don’t want to be mothers at all, but for some it will have been wrong timing, wrong circumstances, health reasons, pressured into termination, or a number of other reasons why they may feel sad or regretful about their choice

Why didn't the gifts get given more quietly then rather than right in front of her then?

It's just the world gone mad.

Its probably meant for those who,ve chosen not to be a mum but for painful reasons

Odd perspective. You really think someone in those circumstances would be cheered up by receiving a card wishing them a happy Mother's Day?

God it's cringe.

I'm childless after years of TTC.
I also have a dog.

I do not want or expect recognition on Mother's Day as I am not a mother. I find the (usually well intended) platitudes embarrassing and unnecessary.

Why does Everyone have to be included in everything?! It's nonsense.

No I don’t, the OP mentioned posts (I assume Mumsnet or social media) so I thought it was about just acknowledging them generally on what might be a sad day rather than their families celebrating them

apparently it’s for all the nurturers now.

But yeah wouldn't want a card for that

Ah yes a post on Instagram or something I guess. Saying sorry this might be a shit day for you

What a load of shite.

YANBU. I don't get it either. I've seen lots of "happy Mother's Day to fur baby mums" on FB and it's laughable. Is your life so sad you MUST elbow your way in to be included on every random celebration day? and I say that as someone who has a dog and loves her very much.

Maybe I should insist on being celebrated on grandparents day too, just in case my dog has puppies in the future 😂

I shared a picture similar on Instagram today and it had 'those who choose not to be a mother' tbh I didn't understand that one but I shared it for the 'those longing for a baby' 'those suffering with pregnancy loss' 'those who have had miscarriages' 'those going through infertility' they was all on the same picture. I've just had my 4th miscarriage and like the acknowledgment, I had lots of friends message me today & DH bought me flowers too

I don’t think it crossed anyone else’s mind to be honest. My Nan would expect her flowers and to be taken out and celebrated- three line whip that everyone would be expected to attend. I just remember being confused for years as to why all the grownup women were being given presents and she wasn’t.

To be honest it might not have bothered her in the slightest. It was just my perspective as a child that she was always really cool and great looking after us and being generous- and I didn’t really understand why we wouldn’t celebrate her too.

Anyway as I said, I don’t really know what these cards are about and who they are supposed to appeal to, but if she was still around I’d probably buy her one. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would you share it if you didn't understand it? People will assume you do

The simple Mothers' Day, as with everything, has become over analysed and interpreted in different ways as not to offend anyone.

@jellyfishbubbles I said I shared it for the other messages that I wrote in the previous post, not that one & the people who know me know which ones I would have shared it for

Load of virtue signalling Pish!!

Just cringe really.

Wherever this is coming from it certainly isn't childfree by choice women 🤣

Chosen not to be a mother could relate to adoption where a child has been relinquished, where a parent has left their child with their grandparents/father because they can be better cared for by them- and yes I do think these mums should be recognised on Mother’s Day.

also some women choose not to do IVF etc but that doesn’t mean they didn’t want to be a mum.

Wanting to be a mum is sad, @OurChristmasMiracle
But it doesn't make celebrating these women on mothers day appropriate in any way.

I think the specific language of 'for the nurturers' is a bit over-earnest, but I've heard many times (often in church) the idea that we celebrate all those who care for others on mother's day and think the sentiment behind it is nice.

I thought the same today. I'm child free. I get the sentiments but the word 'inclusion' makes me feel a few shades of anger now. Not everyone has to be included in everything. It's perfectly OK.

People are not 'mothers' of animals. Even said jokingly, it's cringe.

Recognised how? If you gave a child up for adoption would you even want people drawing attention to it? I’m not sure what the card would say or who would give it.