To think son could have got me a Mother's Day card

[mumof4sweethearts]

Ds is 22 lives at home with 3 other siblings who all bought me flowers chocolate a nice meal and I won't lie I've been utterly spoiled.
Ds didn't bother again just said at 4pm oh yeah happy Mother's Day I couldn't get you anything because it's a Sunday.
He never actually bothers for anyone's birthday in the family.
Dh says we should stop bothering for his bday,
I'm starting to think he's right.

Yes. Your DH is right. It’s time (long since past, I’d say) that he gets a taste of his own medicine.

He could have got you a card, but you were probably being foolishly optimistic thinking he would when you say yourself that he doesn't bother for anyone's birthday in the family.

He sounds like he takes a consistently inconsiderate approach to family occasions.

To be honest I wasn't expecting anything for one minute as I've never received a Mother's Day card or gift in from him.
I said don't worry after his excuse about it being Sunday and he said, well I wasn't worrying.
I just find it a bit rude that he can shrug it off as if we know what he's like but then go out and buy nice things to make him feel special for his birthday.
I think if we ignored his special day he'd be rather miffed.

what is he like about other things, apart from special days? We don't celebrate mothers day or birthdays, but my son's are great in many ways. We just choose not to do days

Yes your DH is right

The OP’s family does celebrate days, so he knows it’s important to her

He just never bothers with birthdays be it siblings, parents, grandparents, they all go by without any recognition, but he expects to be spoiled on his.

That’s a bit rubbish. I’m not even in the same country as my sons right now and they still made sure to get me cards and gifts for Mother’s Day.

But what about the other days, in between birthdays and whatnot? is he kind? is he generous? Is he dependable? if so, I don't think the birthdays matter at all, some people don't like them, and that is fine

You need to stop. If he can't be arsed then why should you be?

Not just birthdays, mothers/Father's Day. He did buy a box of after eight mints for the family to share for Christmas but only after seeing all the presents under tree and feeling last minute he ought to.

You have let him get away with it.I would say from now on as he never celebrates others birthdays etc you will not be giving him any more presents as he obviously isn’t bothered.Stick to it he may start to think about it or not.

Are you in the UK? All the high st shops and supermarkets are open on a Sunday. He's a lazy selfish git and will probably be a lazy selfish husband one day too.

I would ignore his next birthday and just say “you’re an adult now and you’ve obviously chosen not to celebrate your families birthdays so we are following your wishes!”

You’re not doing him any favours in life allowing him to be so selfish and inconsiderate. Think of his future partners and teach him to think of others.

Yes we're in the uk it was just an excuse, he even joked about being that disorganised.

I don't think we'll bother for his next birthday, maybe just give him a breezy oh happy birthday by the way in the afternoon and leave him to figure.

Well unless he changes he is going to make a shit boyfriend and husband

Think I would be tempted just to send a card but no presents.

Did your Dh make him do it when he was a child? Since when did Ds stop? Wouldn't be acceptable to me.

I would say he doesn't like you very much, which would be up to him but if he's living with you then he probably should just buy something.

@mumof4sweethearts - I don't think we'll bother for his next birthday, maybe just give him a breezy oh happy birthday by the way in the afternoon and leave him to figure.

I'd do that. Why on EARTH should anyone get him anything? Selfish git.

I don't know why you told him not to worry about it. Why not "it's pretty hurtful that you didn't bother, we always make a fuss of you..."

Has anyone ever called him out on his shitty behaviour?

> "I think if we ignored his special day he'd be rather miffed". Which would be a good lesson! He might learn some empathy for how other people feel when they don't receive anything from him.

I think you should ignore his special day tbh.
I wouldn’t say that if he was under 18 but at 22 he should realise that you have to make others feel special and loved if you want that yourself.

Definitely give him fuck all for his birthday, it is what he deserves. I would also tell your other children of your intentions so that they also do not get him a card because he doesn't get them one.