Is this normal ? Financial - H behaviour

[flabj]

H is being gifted some money by family and has decided to open up a company with family to invest the money in certain things. I don't want to be too specific.

I'm not part of that company etc and was fine with this.

I've recently found out that a huge proportion of his salary will now also flow into the company in order to be able to keep making investments with said company.

Am I overreacting to think this is a bit off ?

I didn't mind the gifts / inheritance, but surely the salary is a stretch too far and should be our money ?

I also work etc but just worried about this and being kind of frozen out.

Or is this just normal and absolutely fine ?

Thanks for advice.

I'm not that well versed in financial stuff and perhaps this is normal?

I guess H can invest money however he likes, but I'm concerned there are other people in this company too.

This sounds odd.

Finances are something to be discussed and agreed on as a couple.

You will need to sit down with him and ask for some more transparency.

Well I have sat down and it's for investment purposes etc. but it doesn't sit right with me. I'm just not sure if I'm being unreasonable. I think he thinks I sound grabby or whatever.

Pffffft listen carefully family and businesses very RARELY run smoothly! It’s a recipe for disaster and it’s going to impact your household directly I would be quizzing the ins and outs of a cows asshole over this one!

He should definitely have consulted you about this beforehand. Is he therefore saying you can use your salary to invest - maybe in handbags or shoes, or whatever floats your boat?

Erm no family financial decisions and investments should be discussed and agreed.

So yes his inheritance he can do so although I would still expect a discussion.

If you started investing in a company (which then meant it was no longer strictly yours and therefore part of the marital pot) the same level of money from your salary where would that leave your joint finances?

You could be left high and dry here financially supporting him and the family whilst he feathers a nest you have zero entitlement to if you were to divorce or he died.

I don't disagree with the investments at all.

It's the right thing. I thought it was fine to open the company with family members. For the investments he had been gifted.

Now we are talking taking a big chunk of salary into that company, that money also becomes the other shareholder's money.

That's what I have a problem with. I wouldn't mind if he put it in a company that he owned by himself.

Are the other family members investing monthly also?

That's exactly my concern.

We had the conversation about the gifted inheritance money and I was ok with that.

Now hearing the salary is going into that pot too, has made me feel pretty uncomfortable.

No they're not.

What's your relationship like with your husband, OP?

As you're married, most general assets and funds are jointly owned in the event of a split.

That's not necessarily the same in terms of a limited company. Are you able to have sight of the Shareholders agreement?

Now you have clarified absolutely NOT ok for his salary to be used in this way.

It would be a deal breaker for me tbh.

If you were hugely wealthy and it is an insignificant amount I would be unhappy about the principle but would probably just do the equivalent! He's basically giving a chunk of his monthly income to his family.

Money & family just do not mix, there's always the one who gives more and loses out at the end, comes with a lot of dramas too as each person feels entitled. I hope it works out but be prepared it's usually a mess

In the event of divorce of if he died, they'd be entitled to their share and I would only get his share. It would be fine if he owned the company by himself, but he doesn't.

Christ not what I wanted to see! 😳 o nooooo op! I wouldn’t like this not one bit! And you ARE v much so in the company as he’s your husband so that mentality needs revisiting.

Does he own a larger percentage of the company in return for his investment? Will his percentage of the company grow as his salary is invested? Or will others o more work in the company than he will so that their time investment balances his cash investment?

This seems very odd and potentially like he's being taken advantage of! Can he explain why he's having to put in additional money monthly and not the other owners?

I would also be very wary of any business that requires regular capital injections to keep it going. The investments (I'm presuming property) should be paying for their own upkeep.

I'm sorry to say this but I'd be worried he's planning to set up a nest egg for himself to leave or something. Siphoning his salary into the company as well will make it very difficult for you to keep track of the finances and in the event of a split, it could become impossible to know how much money he has amassed while your salary is keeping the family afloat. He could even sign his shares over to a family member and you'd have no leg to stand on.

I think they all own equal shares.

Why is he the only
one putting in monthly?

I think because the others were the gifters of the capital maybe ? I don't know exactly.

But the others are never going to benefit from any of it, I know they won't.

They're his parents.

Does that make any more sense now ? Please tell me I'm just overreacting. But I feel pretty upset.

If everyone in this investment group was doing the same thing, it would be appalling

The fact your husband's money is somehow keeping this investment going (fees?), then that's just completely wrong

Are he and his family religious? This sounds like cult behaviour

Is he a silent, or at least less active partner? E.g. I put the money in, you do the work, and we split the profit?

Is his "investment" actually a loan that the company owes him or just a straight capital investment which immediately is split between all shareholders?

Is it literally just the case that he puts all, or most of the money in, then that is disregarded and he gets equal ownership and returns for equal work?

Sorry for all the questions, i understand you may not know. I'm just trying to understand if he's getting anything for his money or he's a certifiable idiot.

If it crypto start divorce proceedings today,

normal investment into a company with his salary sounds batshit. Get your ducks lined up ready to start divorce proceedings.

this is not normal at all