Everyone Still In Bed

[Froggy99]

I know it’s early but our 11 month old has been awake since six, no sign of DH bringing her down so I can have a lay in this morning with it being Mothers Day so we’ve been up since then.
DH and teen still in bed, no sign of either of them so far.
AIBU to expect at least DH to make the effort to get out of bed to wish me a happy Mothers Day which is my first as a Mum of 2? Or should I just wait patiently for them to appear?

You're right, it would have been nice of him to get up with the baby and let you sleep on.

You should have just told him. I told DH that the main thing I wanted for Mother’s Day was a lie in. That’s what I’m having because I communicated effectively.

Happy Mother's Day

I think it's natural to hope that your husband would make an effort today but I also thinking hoping is a recipe for disappointment. I know asking wouldn't be the same as him spontaneously recognising you also deserve a lie in but I think you have to decide between disappointment and possibly resentment and extra sleep.

When he goes get up I would tell him what you want from him today and I would ask him which day he wants his lie in next weekend and which day he's getting up with the baby.

Are you visiting your Mother church today OP? Is that the rush?

I’d forgotten when I woke up it was Mother’s Day! I expect your Dh didn’t think of it. Go and ask him to take over baby duties and bring you up a coffee.

No both our Mothers have passed.

You absolutely aren't unreasonable for wanting a lie in.

But why are you doing all the early wake ups stay? It should: either be shared, or he should be taking the baby daily if you've been doing all the night wakes.

Shame on him for not pulling his weight on a regular day, and even more so today.

A prod as soon as she woke up, followed by 'she's all yours' and your going back to sleep is what was needed here though, rather than your silently seething.

It's still early. I'd make myself a coffee, go back to bed and play with little one. Enjoy the peace or wake your dh up as necessary.

I'd completely forgotten it is Mother's Day. I have a teen ds who is full of cold at the moment. I'd rather he slept in to be honest. 😀

I think my issue is that I am expected to do almost all the early wake ups everyday not just today, I think we do need a conversation about it but I will leave it for today and try and enjoy the day.

I do think it's unfair you're doing the 6am wake up though

Meh. We don't "celebrate" any of these non-holidays. Mother's day, fathers day, valentine's etc. All just commercial holidays. Accordingly, I've been up since 6 with mine as my husband was up early yesterday.

If you make a big deal of father's day for him, then go up and gently wake him up. He could just be in a deep sleep.

Hoping you generally have a good split of deading with the kids?

Hope you have a nice day.

Get him up, hand him his kid and advise him that it’s Mother’s Day and you are not to be disturbed until after he has finished preparing your lunch. It’s not that hard.

Can you not just say “can you take the baby downstairs so I can have a Mother’s Day lie in?” It doesn’t have to be an argument or a drama.

My DP is still in bed nursing a hangover and I'm up with DD8. I had a lie in compared to my usual early get up so I don't mind too much, he took DD shopping for Mother's Day presents though. The only thing I'm refusing to do today is cook

Just wake him up and tell him to take the baby. Why sit there festering on it?

I've said this before recently here but I get my needs met in my relationship and my family because I make it clear what they are.

It would be nice if your husband would be less of a bonehead and realise what he should be doing but clearly he can't be arsed to tell him!

Are you ok?
she’s the mother of his children.

who pissed on your cornflakes this morning?

This is the root of the issue so expecting it to be different just because it’s Mother’s Day is futile if you’ve not had a conversation about it already.

I’d take the baby up to him and tell him you’re off to have a bath in peace as it’s Mother’s Day. Assert your wishes OP!

Don’t be a dick you know full well what the OP meant.

You needed to have been very explicit last night about your Mothers Day lie in this morning.

And from now on take it in turns at the weekend. Tell your DH he owes you next Sunday

I would have told him to get out of bed and sort the baby as it's Mothers day. I wouldn't have got up! Why didn't you just tell him he'd be dealing with it?

If he woke up, why did you go down? I made it clear I wasn’t getting up with the kids this morning!

Try to reframe it and enjoy your first Mother’s Day with your little one.
I think failing to discuss this with your H before today was the error, and the teen cannot reasonably be expected to get up early. But it would be good moving forward to agree to a weekly lie-in each at the weekend, assuming H works Monday to Friday and doesn’t lie in then.

🙄

Im up, I’ve made everyone breakfast and made my husband a bacon butty and a coffee

I’ve had a card and some daffodils 🌼

Its just an ordinary day

I hate the pressure of all these ‘special days’

Expectations have got too high and it opens up feelings of comparison.

My family love me- I don’t need breakfast in bed for them to prove that

I've been up since 6.30am, to take one DC swimming and drop the other one off at work (she isn't old enough to drive yet). So I understand felling frustrated that you didn't get a lie in. I got mine yesterday luckily I'm taking that as a win as with 2 swimmers in the house I'm normally up early every weekend. Yes I have a DH but he's not well at the moment so I'm doing it all.