To let my dd learn a musical instrument when we live in a terraced house.

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My dd (10) did a music taster day at school, and jas come home wanting to play the flute. I refused to let her brother learn an instrument, because I think the lesson of being considerate to others and realising that there will always be people with more opportunities than them is much more valuable than any questionable benefits of learning an instrument.
Also, she tried gymnastics at age 8 and she gave up after a year, so we will probably just piss off the neighbours for nothing. She does swimming as an extra curricular activity already and that night is a huge stress for everyone with dinner being late. Surely doing more than one will interfere with her studies due to her being out routine.

Let her try it. It's a flute, not a drum kit!

It's fine. I live in a terrace and as long as its not a drum kit it wouldn't bother me.

I used to have a neighbour who would play drunk saxophone at 9pm for an hour or so. It was adorably awful 😂.

Definitely let her learn! And the flute is a good choice in terms of noise volume/screechiness. If she practices for 30 mins when she comes home from school each day she won't annoying anyone.

I would let her try if she wants to. Although she will be hindered by your terrible attitude probably. You sound very austere. Learning consideration and that others have more is still possible while learning an instrument. I also don't really see how a half hour swimming lesson once a week can be that detrimental to family life.

Absolutely the children can learn music. I live in a badly converted flat and hear everything from the neighbours, and they hear us. The children were still allowed to play music.

We're professional musicians and live in a terrace.... flute really isn't that loud, and is pretty pleasant as beginner instruments go. Just make sure the doors are shut and practice is happening at a sensible time (e.g. we've said to DS no practice before school!)

That sounds so cruel! Why would you stop her brother!

It's fine. Just have a practice time and if neighbours ask be prepared to shift it

Let her learn. It’s a reasonable daytime noise that the neighbours will have to tolerate. It’s not like she’s going to be keeping them awake through the night with it.
I find your attitude towards the benefits of learning an instrument a bit shit tbh. Yes there’s something to be said about being considerate but people also have to learn to be tolerant.

Is this the same OP as the thread about the drum kit trying to make a point or is it National Ten Year olds Playing Musical Instruments in Terraced Houses Day?

I'd ask the neighbour and go with the flow depending on what they say.

I refused to let her brother learn an instrument, because I think the lesson of being considerate to others and realising that there will always be people with more opportunities than them is much more valuable than any questionable benefits of learning an instrument I've read this bit again. It's awful. I feel so so sorry for your son

I think you teach her better about consideration for others by letting her learn and teaching her how to do her activities in a considerate way than by teaching her she can't do anything because what matters is not ever inconveniencing others.
You teach her how to balance needs. How to do things she enjoys while being mindful of the impact on others and you teach her that what she wants matters too

I think the lesson of being considerate to others and realising that there will always be people with more opportunities than them is much more valuable than any questionable benefits of learning an instrument.

I can't believe I just read this.

You can learn an instrument and still also learn to be considerate to others. I am appalled at this blinkered attitude. And her poor brother having missed out - that is awful - although it is never too late to give him the chance he deserves.

Do a bit of research and see how learning an instrument enhances children's development - academic and social.

Do not slam the doors of opportunity in these poor children's faces. What can you be thinking?

I grew up in a terraced house and played guitar and the trombone!

As long as she practices at reasonable times then I think it's unreasonable to say she can't play an instrument in her own home.

Also I absolutely disagree with the message you're sending your son. Poor kid.

My old neighbour was a music teacher, we lived in a terrace and she had her piano against our adjoing wall. She also played at the local church.

I actually liked hearing her play, even though it was mostly hymns!

Like languages, musical instruments are great for the brain, and can be super fun. There’s also always someone else who’ll be interested in it at school / uni / life so you’ll always find your tribe.

Also, flute is fine. I play the drums 😅. Consideration for neighbours and speaking to them is key!

Let them both learn!

Of course let her learn. She'll need to practice daily. Just not early in the morning or after 9pm.

You sound like a real glass-half-empty person who loves to make mountains of molehills, with a strong whiff of 'not for the likes of us' thrown in too. I haven't read anything so dispiriting or self-limiting or in years.

Poor children, being denied ordinary opportunities because you're somehow fearful of the world and determined to hide.

We’re in a terrace and mine play guitar and piano. Piano is an electric weighted keys one and he loves playing with headphones. Guitar isn’t noisy. He did make some noises about learning the trumpet years ago but I steered him away from that as I am pretty sure he just wanted to play the Star Wars imperial march.

Absolutely this ^^

Bloody hell, OP, you have a bleak outlook.

This can't be real! Your poor son!

My SIL is a professional flautist and she grew up in a terraced lol

Ok, I accept that I may be wrong here. To give a bit of background, my mother was always very sound sensitive, and would get very angry if I sang in my room. I got the lead role in a school production on high school, and was made to pull out by my mother, because apparently my singing was making her and the neighbours physically ill, because people would always be on edge mot knowing whether I was going to sing or not.
I was also not allowed to do extra curricular activities as the change of routine apparently made me ill.
Probably a lot of you can tell where this is heading, but after years pf being diagnosed with BPD, my mum:s latest CPN said to us both that she is sure that if had been born 50 years later, they would have discovered that she is autistic. Talk about a lightbulb moment!
Anyway, I am currently therapy, and we are trying to tease put whether I have ASD traits myself or whether it is a learned thing.(also how much of what went down was due to autism and how much was just abuse)
TLDR, I am very much a work in process, and don't always know what is "normal", so I appreciate the reality check. I will let DD learn flute, and will apologise to my son.

When I read your post I actually wondered if you were posting to get opinions about something that happened to you as a child. Ie. posting what your mum had actually done, as if you were the mum.

Maybe your son could still learn? As others have said, it is perfectly do-able with consideration.

I'm sorry about what happened to you.