To think ex could have helped kids with Mother’s Day card and gift

[alianna]

Separated from my exh couple years ago and he hates me cause I was the one to end the relationship. I know what he’s like so I know he’ll hate me forever but the kids just told me they are making me a card and a gift for Mother’s Day which I will obviously adore because I will be able to keep them forever.
But I don’t think it would have killed him to offer to help them with a gift just while they’re still young. I’ve done it at Xmas and Father’s Day in the past so he would have a card and a gift from the kids. Am I being unreasonable or is it really nothing to do with him now because we are separated??

They are making you a card and gift though? So you get it.... doesn't matter where it's from

He won't do it because of how he feels. No point pondering over it

I think YABU. Surely it means much more to you that your children are putting the thought and effort into making you something handmade? Far better than a half-arsed card and bunch of flowers bought by your ex-H

I think the handmade things will be much better keepsakes than anything he would help with. And it's all from the kids.
You can't change his behaviour but you can work on how you respond to it.

They are which is so much more important and special to me cause of the work they will put in to it but he’s such a tight ass it’s annoyed me so much. He could do it for the kids not me but it will be more special this way for sure

The kids are doing it, so let them. But stop buying for Father’s Day / Christmas, the kids will make him a card if they want to.

I always bought myself flowers. There's a song about that too 😀

@MaloneMeadow @Heydiddlediddle10 i ageee 100% it will be so special and I can’t wait to see what they do. As I’ve said it will be even more special to be as I’ll be able to keep whatever they make forever. I’m just annoyed that someone could be so tight. I won’t be so stupid when Father’s Day comes around this year 😝

So you're getting something "more important and special" but are still complaining?

I won’t be so stupid when Father’s Day comes around this year 😝

Good! He doesn’t deserve it.

God I’m not complaining just having a rant because I’ve done it for him. I’m not saying I want a massive gift we never did that for Mother’s Day, I’m just saying he could help the kids out like I have done. Just putting it out there to see what other moms think

I don't get my ex anything from the kids. They can get/make something for him if they want to. I don't expect anything

Your ex has nothing do with mother's day nor you for fathers day, whinge all you want it won't change it

I supported my DC’s with my MD!

I didn't want ExH to be involved.

I did however find it very upsetting that he drove 60 miles, turned up at their school and got them to sign a MD card for his wife (OW) - with nothing for me.

You said your ex hates you so I don’t know why you are expecting him to help the kids buy you a gift. They seem to have it covered in any case.

What is it you are wanting? The kids are making you a gift

Wow talk about disrespectful

YABU , your kids are making you something

Ya he does and I hate him too but I don’t let the kids see that

I’m not wanting anything I just posted to say he could have at least asked them if they needed money for a card!! I don’t even want a card I don’t expect anything from my kids. The fact that we will be together for MD is enough for me I’m just ranting about it what a tight ass he is as I’ve always done it for the kids for FD, XMAS etc but I’ve learned my lesson now

Oh he was a ‘gem’.
The year after he took his wife and our kids away for a MD weekend in a smart hotel….

I get it. Had a similar conversation with a friend today who mentioned taking his daughter out tomorrow and how he has to remind himself that it is for her sake, not her mums (she is being particularly difficult at the moment so their coparenting relationship is tense! She also doesnt do the same for fathers day)

My DS is 4 and the last year or so he's been so happy coming home with little gifts for me (mothers day, birthday, xmas, Easter egg), and he loves picking things out to take for his dad too. I do think it's sad when that isn't supported.

But they want to make you a card and a gift. Him buying something will make them feel like theirs isn't good enough

That is appalling. She was the OW and he got the DC to write a MD card! I think I would have gone ballistic at him.

This is exactly what I mean! They go to their dads so happy when they have something for him for Father’s Day etc just to see their faces is worth it to me. When days like this come around my thought is always that the kids will want to give their dad something so that’s why I help out. He doesn’t come in to it, it’s them I’m helping and making happy, not him

They might want to make something for their dad?