Gap between death and funeral is affecting me

[Auburngal]

My Nanan died over a fortnight ago and the funeral is just under a fortnight away.

i know this is the norm for funerals. I’m not feeling myself and it’s affecting my anxiety. So much so I got irritated by a awkward customer at work. Then walked away

In my other relatives the gap between death and funeral was 10-12 days. That’s manageable.

People told me that they relax the middle two weeks and then start to grieve all over again a few days before.

I’m scared of going to work over the next days. We are short staffed at the moment - the norm for all retailers and we get it in the neck from customers. They just moan at us and not contact head office. They might as well moan at a wall.

Also not looking forward to the funeral itself (who doesn’t) as conflict between DF and DA. Her granddaughter wants these tacky NAN flower arrangements and rest request no flowers which is in the interest for Nanan.

Any tips how to cope with this?

Another colleague's mum passed away last year and she lived in a council bungalow. The council wanted the bungalow to be emptied and redecorated if furniture and picture frames made marks on the walls within a WEEK of death. Colleague's mum smoked 30 a day and walls were nicotine stained. Fortunately, her cousin is a painter and decorator so he was quick in doing up the paintwork.

Council's policy hasn't changed with the length of time between death and funeral. Maybe 20-40 years ago, people had their funeral 3-4 days after death and left a few days to clear out the properties.

The council wanted the bungalow to be cleared within a week. Yet my colleague popped to see her mum's friend about 2 weeks after the funeral and her late mum's home was still empty.

I used to work in the funeral industry and when I started there 12 years ago, the time between the death and the funeral weren't nearly as long as they are now.

DF died a couple of years ago and we had 17 days before his funeral. That was the earliest week we could have because of the time it was taking the council to deal with death registration and we ended up with the Friday because Monday and Tuesday didn't work for immediate family members, the village hall wasn't available on the Wednesday and the minister couldn't do the Thursday. The time delay allowed us to put together a photo display of his life to put up in the village hall for the funeral tea.
I was WFH at the time and my boss banned me from doing anything non-essential.

I know what you mean... I hated that hanging around period when my dad died.
IIRC it was a bit over 2 weeks from death to funeral.

Personally, I thought at the time, and still do, there's a lot to be said for those cultures around the world where they put people in the ground/cremate within 48 hours.

I hated the idea of my much-loved dad being in a fridge at the undertakers, just waiting there.

No advice really OP, but lots of sympathy. Take care of yourself.

We are Jewish and my mother died at lunchtime on a Monday and was buried at 3 o’clock the next day. It is a requirement of our religion that bodies are buried immediately. The same with Muslims.

So sorry OP. It’s an awful feeling of limbo, I agree. My friends from NI, are amazed how long the wait is for funerals in England. Take it easy, dealing with grief is so hard. You were right to walk away