OK bit of a sensitive one here, so I’ve got my seatbelt on!
A relative of mine has a DS who is a bit older than mine, he’s now 9 years old. He is a difficult child in some respects in that he tends to seek attention via negative behaviour, eg shouting insults at you, and he always has done.
A couple of years ago, when I first met him - they had been living abroad until then - I noticed that this child talked a lot about lavatorial matters (I am being vague because I don’t want to attract Herberts). He would always ask if he could watch me change my baby DD’s nappy and then when she got older, he would constantly reference it, shouting stuff at her like, “You wear poonappies!” He would also try to accompany my DD6 and my DD7 into the bathroom when they needed the loo, and would go so far as to be sly about it, eg hiding behind the shower curtain.
So his parents told him in no uncertain terms not to do that, and we made sure we were always with the DDs and kept a close eye on things whenever we saw them, which is maybe 4 times a year or so. I thought he had grown out of it, although he still does some very age inappropriate things, like shouting sexual swear words.
But then we went to stay with them over half term and he was up to his old tricks again but this time asking the girls and his own younger sister to go into the bathroom with him when he or they needed the lav, and barging in pantless when they were playing Barbies telling them to look at/touch his willy, and then laughing when they screamed.
My cousin knows about it and they told him off and told him to stop it right away. But her view is that he’s “just being a boy” (what does that even mean anyway, and besides, I don’t know any other boys who do this!). However she says the school have never said anything about it so I assume he doesn’t do it there.
So, AIBU to be increasingly concerned about this pattern of what seems to be escalating behaviour, and should I be trying to talk to my cousin and her husband about seeing someone about it (and who?).
Or am I overreacting and should I just make sure my DC are OK and let them deal with him?
It feels more than a bit creepy tbh, but then he is only a 9 year old child.
TIA!