to be scared when kids leave full-time education

[spanieleyes22]

So I'm currently eligible for Universal Credit with 2 children over 16 but in full-time education. But when the youngest turns 20 I believe I won't be eligible for it any more. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent or survive without it. They will still be living with me and will be in university (hopefully). What do people do when this happens.

Your posts are really tone deaf and quite frankly, smug. You have no idea what hardships other people have had in their lives and quite honestly, your 'advice' to the OP has been more along the lines of hindsight and navel gazing.

Getting further qualifications doesn't automatically mean that you can magically increase your earning power either, sometimes luck of being in the right place at the right time is just as responsible. Telling somebody who is scared and worried that they should have realised their plight sooner is just spiteful hectoring and there's no excuse for that. I bet you don't talk down to your bosses or the public like that.

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OP, I don't know what your options for downsizing are or what employment opportunities you have in your organisation or area but I think it would be a good idea to start looking at them now, don't wait.

Do you have friends in a similar situation that you could canvass to see what it is that they're doing? Libraries often have details of community groups and there may also be some useful information there about managing changes like this.

I wish you well, there are a lot of scared people at the moment, you're not on your own even if it feels like it.

Why is this such a shock? I figured this out years ago. I did courses left right and centre to get off tax credits for this very reason. You need to find a way of earning more..

Is this at all possible? You may have missed this suggestion. A friend of mine does this, but she is in London. She has rented to a Singaporean student who returns home in the holidays. A lovely young woman who is nice company for her, as well.

I’m in your situation, I work full time. I’m down by quite a bit monthly plus maintenance. My son is an apprentice electrician so earning a pittance but he is paying me some board. My friends son has gone to college to do same a trade so she’s still getting UC, child benefit and maintenance and son getting a bursary! Whole system is wrong. My exh also is not contributing a bean whilst he earns his 80k and pleads poverty

Yes you are right it gets harder as you get older but @TheSnootiestFox comments is still valid and this is why someone should be planning ahead not waiting till 10 years to retirement when your kids are about to age out to start trying to figure out what to do.

And the fact she inherited a house does not change the fact that women need to start being more proactive and planning ahead, and one of the ways is to retrain. Is it easy NO, but it can be done and and the alternative is worse.

@spanieleyes22

Their accommodation is not for 12 months though. It ends mid May I believe and starts again end of sept. Where do kids live if they don't have parents to go to

This was the case for some of my friends at uni, they rented proper 12 month lease flats rather than crappy student ones and kipped on the parents sofa when they went home, they weren't scarred by it they understood it was needs must and that was 20 years ago I bet it's even more common now. Down size and invest in event sofa bed?

Also I didn't have a bedroom at my parents from 20 (when mum moved in boyfriend and his kids) and it didn't stop me going back and seeing mum

When my DD was younger we used Sitters.com quite a bit. The sitters were mums, grans and the best one had no DC but was a young teacher. Pays well and you can get on with some work once the kid(s) are in bed.

A friend back in the 1990s went off to uni and her mum turned the house into a B&B. She had to "book" her room in order to visit (her mum didn't charge her though).

Oh sorry, it was sitters.co.uk

It’s relatively easy to get over 55 accommodation near me . And I live in a popular area . I would think about this OP.

if I can hold it all together then anyone can.

Survivor bias. I'm sorry that your childhood afforded you so little opportunity to develop empathy. Perhaps those who haven't achieved what you have, have achieved this instead. God knows, society would be better for it.

Can your DC not just each take a gap year to work full time, build up savings and contribute to the household before going to uni?

OP I have read whole thread - you only mention your ex. once and say he only contributed maintenance ''when he could afford it'' but he was ''doing great''. Do the children not have contact with their father? Can they stay with him? Why doesn't he help them more? Maybe he could help them financially too - perhaps his finances are better than yours?

Is there a dad? If divorced, can you claim some of his pension for years married?

Forgive me if this has been said before but won't you have an occupational pension as well as a Pension from the DWP?
As it stands full pension is £203.85 a week and increases every year , your work pension will be depending upon their scheme . You should have a decent lump sum to put away for your needs, also hopefully your children will be well and truly off your hands then and you can legitimately downsize to a housing association over 55's accommodation. Good luck OP l am sure the future isn't as worrying as you are fearing .

I am quite empathetic to those who are in a situation they didn't create. In any case, empathy doesn't pay the rent I'm afraid!

All the hard work, which is very admirable, did not buy a house.

Im pretty sure that UC is affected as soon as one of them goes to university. A university degree is not classified as approved education, its higher education. So do check this since you should already have lost the child entitlement to UC for that child and the onus is on you to let them know that your daughter has gone to university. If you don't tell them then they will reclaim once they find out and this could leave you in even more difficulty.

That's great if you can afford to pay for other multiple adults to live in your house.
But not everyone can.

Why should an adult get benefits or whatever to prop up their income when there are perhaps 2-3 other adults living in a house contributing fuck all? Maybe all the adults should contribute to living expenses ... ?

[[https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/find-information/benefits/benefits-child-turns-16/#:~:text=When%20your%20child%20leaves%20approved%20education%20or%20training%2C%20your%20Universal,if%20your%20child%20leaves%20home.

This is a helpful link which shows that you are already not entitled for your DD

Sometimes we all get to the stage where we can't see the wood for the trees because everything seems too scary and out of control. You might feel better if you start trying to take back control in small ways.
You can downsize and your kids will be fine without their own room. Honestly, they can kip on sofa beds/you can get some cheap room dividers for a bit of privacy. You don't have to get a studio, but just going down to 2 from 3 bed will make a difference.
Make sure you understand how 1st year uni/halls/private 12 month rentals work and help your kids choose the right option for you as well as themselves.
If you can't bring yourself to downsize, speak to your landlord about either slightly lowering or at least not raising rent. If you've been there ages they may well want to keep you instead of having you leave with all the empty time and doing-up money that entails. And get a bit of extra income from something like Sitters babysitting or something like an estate agent check-in/check-out service, or a bit of cleaning.
Trust yourself: you've raised 2 kids and worked full time. You can take control and do something to make this work. You just have to actually start the process. Good luck op

And the fact that inherited usually means someone has died…

OP while your DC are students (including at Uni), the housing benefit element of your universal credit shouldn’t reduce? You’ll lose child benefit and the child element of Universal Credit though. Have you checked this with a benefits advisor?

Would it be an option for them to live at home while at Uni and commute? They can then pay for board out of their maintenance loan which is what it’s actually for. Get a young persons railcard to cut down on commuting costs (used to be free with student bank accounts). Do you live near any Unis? Sadly in current times, we have to make do and work around what we’ve got.

It's really important that you update your information if you have a child at uni. They come down hard if you don't and you continue to claim the child element of universal credit. A friend didn't notify and then had an enormous amount to pay back which caused her problems. Child benefit is no longer claimable either. My friend thought that since they were still in full time education she could still claim but going to uni doesn't count.

You can downsize and your kids will be fine without their own room. Honestly, they can kip on sofa beds/you can get some cheap room dividers for a bit of privacy. You don't have to get a studio, but just going down to 2 from 3 bed will make a difference.

Agree with this too. Your DC will understand your circumstances.