to be scared when kids leave full-time education

[spanieleyes22]

So I'm currently eligible for Universal Credit with 2 children over 16 but in full-time education. But when the youngest turns 20 I believe I won't be eligible for it any more. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent or survive without it. They will still be living with me and will be in university (hopefully). What do people do when this happens.

I’m sorry you’re facing this difficult situation op. You’re not alone.

I do think you deserve a medal for single handedly working and parenting so that your dc can flourish.
You should be proud of all you have achieved x

Going to uni is lovely but a massive privilege. Having 2 kids off to uni and having them come home for half the year means you can’t downsize easily. There really are only a few options.
You downsize anyway and kids sleep in less space for the time they are home- the sofa / air bed in lounge etc.
The kids find somewhere to stay in the holidays. Uni accommodation alone, a friends, house share. When I went to uni after the first year we house shared and at least half of us didn’t go back home for weeks on end- only the odd days here and there.
You work weekends or extra somehow to bring in more money.

I got into management by asking for extra tasks, by proving to management I was capable, reliable and that I could train the new person was the clincher, I always stated that management was my aim in every review and ultimately, a couple of years later I got promoted. Worked at promoted level for 6 months and a job came up with a lot more responsibility at a rival firm and, on the strength of my reputation in the business I was in, I got the job, transferred internally for 2 more promotions within that company then moved on.

I'd never have got promoted if I hadn't been asking for it, and asking how can I achieve this, what steps should I take etc.

Have you thought of taking in Language students while yours are at Uni. A friend of mine did this. Sometimes one sometimes more as she had space. A German lad still comes back to visit her every year for a week as he became so fond of her and she has been to Germany to stay. He is lovely.
They often only need three months to improve their English and experience life here. Might be worth a thought and give you a bit of company.😃

you're 57. work full time, in a good job,

why are you worried about retirement ?

you will get your full pension and your private pension, and I expect a lump sum too from your private pension.

Exactly - and you can do without the smuggy mcsmug snootiest posters

Delurking to commiserate on the many cunty replies you've received OP. I know it's MN, but the sheer cluelessness and viciousness of this thread is something else.

You have my sympathy. I'm surprised more posters aren't expressing concern that these rules limit the educational options of young adults. (Even if they don't care about your situation.) We are approaching Victorian levels of inequality. Entrenching the hardship in from one generation to another is awful public policy. Many European countries do much better in the treatment of Young dependent adults in their tax and welfare systems.

Going to uni is lovely but a massive privilege.

It really shouldn't be (seen as) "a privilege".

Are we just going to accept a return to pre-war conditions where your access to education- and your life chances - were dictated by your parents' financial situation?

Pls op do not feel that you have failed. You definitely have not, you have brought up 2 children on your own and got them to university, that is amazing and you sound like a great mum!
@BenefitWaffle has some good advice.
Call the CAB and get benefits advice so you know exactly where you stand. I think that you then need to discuss it with your children, especially the older of the two, to decide what the best thing to do may be. As pp have said staying at home and studying at a local uni may be an option, then the maintenance loan can help with costs.
I know it’s not easy and am in a similar but slightly different situation myself. I am looking for a new job. Good luck op, you deserve it and pls don’t read the posts that are really unsupportive on here, not sure why people feel the need to be like that.

i agree, what about your pension
and agree, downsize

People were just pointing out that if your dd is at uni then you already have illegally claimed and you might not realise that since you seemed to think entitlement continued until they are 20.

I only mentioned it so you didn’t find the debt backs up. It always catches up with you eventually.

The average pension pot (uk) is £1500 a month.

The average rent for say a small 2 bed flat in Cambridge is £1500 a month. That’s before utilities, service rates and living costs (for example eating).

but the op presumably lives in HA housing rather than private?

It doesn’t appear so . Her rental/ housing costs now eat up the majority of her salary as a middle earner.

Council houses are like hens teeth even for thousands of eligible families.

Dont assume benefit claimants live in HA- most don’t.

I did what most people do and got a Masters loan. I did it whole working so I'm not sure why you think you wouldn't be able to afford it?

A masters degree is actually a really poor idea at that age. The OP is ten years from retirement and is highly unlikely to recoup the cost of undertaking the training. Plus most jobs don't need masters degrees, they're really an academic desire/"I have no idea what to do with my life so I'll stay at university for a bit longer" option. Better to take on additional weekend work or move to a smaller property.

I wasn't suggesting she do one, I was asked what I did and I answered. In my organisation, you don't get promoted unless you have a postgrad. It's just the unwritten rule there.

You must be proud of all you’ve achieved but it’s not that hard to understand why others can’t afford it or don’t want to risk getting into debt in their 50’s on the premise it may improve future earning potential?

A Masters/ post grad loan is treated as income by UC so affects a claim. It also has to be repaid with interest.

@Midwinter91 My mother died 6 weeks ago today. I haven't even got the house through administration yet and we've not moved in. I still claim UC and get my rent partly paid as the house isn't officially mine yet, and I'm a single mum to two teens so I'm in exactly the same boat as the OP. I never expected the house, I was getting it ready to sell as mum was deteriorating so fast and I was looking at residential care for her. I only mentioned it because I posted on here to pick some legal brains when she died intestate and I thought someone may recall.

Nothing to LOL about, I can assure you. I'm 52 this year. Up until 6 weeks ago I was a carer for 3 or 4 days a week, have two part time jobs and two volunteer roles to enhance my CV. I also make sure my boys go to their activities so they are building a CV already. I've posted earlier about my early life and my marriage was spectacularly shit. If your username is your date of birth, then you are still very young and I will forgive your immaturity, but LOL ing 🙄 at someone losing a parent after a horrible illness is really vile. As I've said countless times, I was asked by the OP what I did in the same situation and I answered. There is really no need for you or anyone else to even comment on my circumstances as my response was not meant for you. I do hope that clarifies somewhat.

Some of the replies on here are so harsh and depressing, and show such a complete lack of compassion. The OP has a choice to stay where she is, and have a discussion with her DC re them contributing or downsize. What most people seem to be missing is that neither option is easy, this is someone's family home which they might be forced to leave, and surely we all want to provide a home that is comfortable for our DC? OP has worked FT, raised two DC who are heading to Uni, which is admirable and was just looking for practical advice on how to manage this next stage, the sneery judgemental tone of some posts has been disgusting, and shows a complete lack of awareness of how difficult some circumstances can be.

I agree that not all students stay with parents during holidays. DD used to stay at the university in a lot of the holidays. When she stayed with us one of her friends was very often here too.

Social media is brutal.
Well done for sticking up for yourself and saying Hang on II’m a real person behind this screen, with as many issues as anyone else.
That’s quite often forgotten it seems.
…as also indicated by the many replies op has received.

I don’t know what I’m doing here actually. A lot of MN pisses me off 😂

Sorry you’ve had a tough time and lost your mum.

Well no, not really, as I expect to be working until 70 and I want to be in a nice managent role by then, I'll get nearly 20 years out of it. In any case I wasn't suggesting the OP does a Masters, I was asked what I did in the same situation and I answered. I really don't understand why it's me getting a hard time when I was the one that saw the UC drop coming!

Apologies if you thought I was giving you a hard time.

Again yes. But the question was what do you do when your kids leave FT education and I just gave a succinct answer about our family's situation with no "snootiness".