Car regret - AIBU

[misskellyb]

I am aware that right now I'll probably get bashed for seeming like a spoilt brat. But I've got bloody car regret.

I just sold my Range Rover Evoque. I'd had it 5 years. I absolutely loved the car for its height and size and all the standard features that came with the car. However, my insurance had gone up drastically at the time of renewal due to the increase in thefts of range rovers and it felt unjustifiable to pay it. It had also been having some problems recently too. And I also no longer needed a diesel. It wasn't doing the car any good with mainly city driving and I was sick of the dpf warning light coming on every month and having to pointlessly drive for miles to clear it!

Whilst the evoque was in a garage having a repair - not dpf related this time - and I was without a car, on a whim I decided to car shop and out of desperation I purchased a new car so I could be back on the road asap.

I've gone for a used ŠKODA Karoq. It is absolutely lovely. So much car for the money. And is a like for like on specification of previous cars I’ve owned. And is a petrol which is absolutely better suited for the minimal miles I cover these days. I checked the ncap score before I purchased which is 5 stars. However, in the time I've been driving around in it I feel so low on the road compared to my evoque and other suvs I have owned, and feel I just made a quick decision without thinking it through. Whenever I park up next to other suvs I panic at the thought of ever having an accident in the ŠKODA and start imagining one of those bigger cars doing some damage. I'm aware how ridiculous I sound but I do suffer with anxiety and ended up down a rabbit hole when I checked the ncap score in more detail and even though it scores 5 stars, the child protection on a Karoq is slightly lower than other suvs and even smaller hatchbacks I’ve owned in my younger years. The Karoq is roughly 79% while others are at 85% and above. I typically in recent years have gone for suv style cars for their size, height and feeling more protected and I’ve come to love crossover and suv vehicles on the whole.

I've had a Nissan qashqui before and a rav4 and I parked up next to a qashqui today and it looked huge and higher in comparison and just instantly regretted not getting another quashqui as I equally loved my qashqui - it was just a tad small in the boot.

I am aware I sound absolutely ridiculous and spoilt. I am extremely grateful to be in a position to be able to drive and have a car - one that I love too (Karoq) - but I can’t shake off the feeling of worry that my children are less protected in this car than other cars I’ve owned in the past, which is stealing the enjoyment from the car.

The kids love the car and were so excited to pick it up. But every time I put them in it I just feel guilty thinking what if something bad happened? I’d blame myself for being so quick to jump without searching for the safest car possible for our family.

Please talk me down from my stupidity. Surely I am being unreasonable here? Any ŠKODA Karoq owners here who can share some positive stories so that I can start enjoying our new car and not feeling anxious and regretful every time I drive us somewhere in it.

TIA

The car is not the issue, your reaction to it and your hyper focus on minor safety details is. You’re not going to get reassurance by getting information (or a flaming) from us internet randoms but by re-programming your wonky thinking. CBT sounds ideal for you.

Oh for gods sake

the replies on here are just stupid!

crash tests etc are measuring safety of the occupants of the vehicle, the air bags, crumPle zones etc

whats all this bonkers bleating about other smaller vehicles etc? They all have THEIR safety tests too.

Nope. BOTH stupid posts.

really stupid

🫨🙄

@MzHz it was the OP “bleating on” about being in a smaller vehicle and worried about getting hit by larger vehicles. Quite ironic when she normally drives juggernauts and still drives a large car now

@Moonmelodies I know. It's an awful thought. But I think I've just ran away with the ncap rating. And correlated that with being in a slightly lower car than usual. But it's a scary colliding with a lorry thought that most people don't dwell on. I think I just need to calm down and find my rational mind.

@StevieNicksWannabe thank you. This is reassuring although I am very sorry to hear you were in a crash. I am glad you are all safe and well. I have to agree the ŠKODA is fantastic and the service was one of the best I have ever received. It's being fogged by my anxiety unfortunately.

@Rosesanddaisies1 my child is neurodivergent and struggles with public transport. So it's not ever going to be our go to method. I also couldn't cycle my children to school it's too far. And they're too young.

Do you cycle and use public transport everywhere?

@PansyOatZebra

I really hope I haven't offended anybody who may be in a lesser position with regards to affording a vehicle. It is not my intention by any means. Like I've stated in my post I am fully aware and extremely grateful to be in a position to afford a car.

I think a lot of people have missed the point that my post is about my anxiety. And how I can find a reasonable way to overlook size, and ncap ratings.

However people who may not be able to afford a 'safer' car may just find the ncap rating for their car in regards to children is higher. Because I've even looked at the ncap for small hatchbacks and their ratings - which naturally are 'more affordable' in some cases and these are still topping the ŠKODA in child protection too! Those people may also not suffer with anxiety the way I do and may never had read an ncap report either.

I really hope nobody feels upset with regards to their own car based on my post. Whatever situation a parent is providing whether it be a huge van, an suv, a hatchback, public transport or horse and cart... we're all trying to do our best.

My post is also not 'selfish' per se - because this isn't about me. This is about me as a concerned and anxious parent, worrying. Please don't think I am a selfish person as I am not.

Thank you for this. This proves my point about the smaller cars holding up on safety rating and my concern about other drivers.

Awesome way to help the OP and her anxiety 👍👍

@whatdoidonowffs I know lol.

Think I might just have to buy a lorry and drive that instead 😂 but then I'll upset people because I haven't considered climate change for my children.

I had quite a bad accident, years ago, in an old style Ford KA. Basically a go-cart with a roof.
And it protected me brilliantly. It crumpled in all the right places, and I got out and walked away from an accident that could have been so much nastier. Just had slightly sore ribs on one side from bouncing off the drivers door.
Size isn't everything.

So you can't use public transport because of your child? Does that include trains and planes? Lots of people don't own cars so yes they cycle and use public transport

@Allfur

So you can't use public transport because of your child? Does that include trains and planes? Lots of people don't own cars so yes they cycle and use public transport

I don't know about OP but I have to make considerable changes to my life to accommodate my autistic child. Sometimes about can't just fly off into the sunset

@Allfur perhaps you don't know much about neurodiversity I assume. During the time we were without a car we had to rely on public transport. He was having meltdowns and refusing to leave the house. His anxiety and sensory input was massively increased.

We've been on a plane once. Which was the first time we used public transport. He had to have special support getting to and from the plane. He had to enter the plane first, in the ambulift, and be seated at the front. He couldn't go on the bus from the terminal to the plane.

He's never been on a train. We don't have a train station close by. It would require a taxi or two buses.

When you have a neurodivergent child all methods leaving the house and days out require pre planning and careful consideration.

Lots of people do use public transport. Some may have to transport their neurodivergent children that way. Some neurodivergent children may not be triggered by crowds and noise - it is a spectrum.

I speak for many neurodivergent parents though that public transport can be a difficult thing.

I can’t believe there’s these many words being written about a Skoda. #hidesthread

Eh? What ‘horsey world’ are you in? Everyone has Range and Land Rovers, old and new. No one laughs. They’re really good tow-ers. Some people have Hiluxes but they’re the more ‘cob’ types. 😂😂😂😂

I think you did well to get rid of your RR Evoque. DH has one and it has had no end of problems. Very regular visits to the garage. Unreliable. Ended up needing a new engine!

Eh where I work it's all battered hatchbacks and a random massive Transit van! 🤣

Or pedestrians? Kids on bikes?

I read somewhere the statement "the best way to make roads safer is to attach a sharp knife, point end out, to the steering wheel. That way drivers would be way more careful".

Obviously Im not advocating actually doing that, but it would follow that the feeling of safety and invincibility that a bigger SUV gives is hugely dangerous as it encourages riskier driving. Not for everyone, but just a reasonable proportion of the population.

OP, you realise yourself that this isnt about the vehicle, its about change and about your anxiety.

Op I understand where you are coming from. I had a 3 series bmw with 4 wd before my karoq. Its not a fact but it feels less safe. I live in the country and the lack of 4x4 has proven quite a challenge in some of the weather.
On the plus side no one tries to race me in the karoq, I can fit most of my house in it, my child loves the tray table, my 80 year old mum doesn't complain its too low to the ground and I didn't have to deal with the sexism I suffered when getting my beemer nor the prices.
I think part of the problem is I am used to really decent acceleration and this just is quite flat (which is probably great for the environment). The door also doesn't make the same clunk! If it makes you feel better I asked my neighbour who is a fireman and he said most cars do a great job and not to worry too much but to avoid smart cars.
Anxiety is a killer, try to think through what's a fact and what's a feeling.
My karoq doesn't make my heart sing but I bought with my head not my heart. I too am grateful I have a choice.

Sounds like a karoq of shit.

Sorry, I'll get my coat.

My husband qashqai was a complete joke, btw. I think they're famed for falling apart. Always see them with the boot panel taped back on.

Of all the things to stress over…you’re overthinking OP. Do some meditation and try not to dwell. You’re worrying over nothing in the grand scheme of things.