To be so upset about it

[feelingsensitivetoday]

Yesterday, a casual friend of mine (not a close friend at all, just someone I get on with and meet dog walking all the time and chat at length), bumped into me in the park and exclaimed, poking my belly "what's this? omg I didn't know you had a belly like this!" and then proceeded to joke "we've been eating right? We've had some nice food right?" Knowing this person, I don't think it was malicious... yet, I feel so incredibly upset about it. I told her about it in a message later and she responded saying that, as I've always been slim, she was simply "shocked to notice my belly". I'm going through perimenopause and it's the wrong time of the month. The whole perimenopause has been incredibly hard for me, combined with other things going on at home. Her comments really got me down. AIBU to think this is just incredibly and unforgivably rude, no matter how it was meant? Including physically poking my belly while looking totally shocked? I'm a pretty normal size 10-12, for context... I really look quite average sizewise....

YUNBU That's so rude and I wouldn't want anything to do with her, she sounds awful.

It's SO outside the social norms I would assume she has some sort of neurodiverse condition and, as such, I would ignore it (though I would be pissed off very annoyed).

Wtf?! What is the actual matter with people?!

did she think you were pregnant and then back peddle when it became clear that you weren’t? I have endo and people think I’m pregnant all the time. It’s awful.

WTF! That is so incredibly rude. I wouldn’t bother with her after that

Someone did this to me once although it was a neighbour who I was friendly with rather than a friend.
Like you I don't think it was malicious.
Also she's not English. I do think other cultures are more straightforward about things like this sometimes.i don't know, maybe that did make a difference. She was a very straightforward person anyway
I didn't take it to heart.

Wow that was so rude. I would’ve struggled not to have told them to fuck off.

Was she drunk? This is really bizarre behaviour. Perhaps she is unwell?

That's so weird I'd be worried she was suffering some sort of MH problem! WTF??!!!

@purpleme12 good point and she is not British BUT... ha! she is actually the same nationality as me! and it's incredibly rude in our culture too! (just another European nation by the way).

She's a twat.

I've known her for almost three years. She is not suffering from any MH problems or neurodiverse (I have a neurodiverse child so quite tolerant and in tune with it too). Plus she doesn't drink and it was 9am... I'm really struggling to explain it and feel ok about it...

There was absolutely no need for that what’s so ever. Even if it wasn’t said with malicious intent, the words sting. Any comment on someone’s weight/appearance unless positive I think should remain unsaid. Backhanded ‘innocent’ comments do stick with us. Go enjoy your favourite snack and try not to let it upset you too much.

Thank you mammma91 xx

Is she always a dick?

Was she drunk?

It's pretty insane she did that and of course you're shocked and hurt.
Fuck her!

Yes that's very odd

She was unbelievably rude. Even if you were a size 20, it’s none of her damn business. Don’t speak to her again,m you can do without this shit.

My older sister did similar to me a few years ago. Not that she’s a slim, slender goddess. Now she complains to the family that I’ve “gone weird” and no longer texts her. She hasn’t told them why though. But I have 😊

What a bizarre thing to do. Really really strange. Not to mention beyond rude.

I would avoid her at all costs.

Uh, I’m neurodivergent, and I would NEVER do something like this, to a PP who brought up “neurodiverse.”
my God! We’re just wired differently- we aren’t Neanderthals!

no… she was rude, and unforgivably so. That’s disgusting. To not only comment on someone’s body, but physically POKE you?

nah. I’d not have much to do with her. She sounds like a jerk.

It was quite rude.
Best to laugh it off rather than lose sleep over it.

More dog walkies with rude friend.
Has she suggested stopping for coffee and both doing 50 tummy crunches?

She obviously sees a stigma around weight gain and people who are not slim and you are only aware now because it's the first time it's come up.

And it took all of two comments for someone to suggest it.

She was incredibly rude.

@WhatWhereWho yes but has anyone mentioned dementia yet? Or is that too 2022?