The ideal financial set up for married couple

[GingerLiberalFeminist]

So Mumsnet, your wise input is required!

TL:DR should couple share finances but wife also put dosh away just in case?

If you read MN you'll see the view for women is to keep financial independence, but men should share their finances totally (!).

Our current set up is DH and I have a joint account into which goes 80-85% of our wages. Our household income is about £75k. This covers household bills etc. £250 goes into joint savings each month, every three months we chuck some in joint ISAs or DD's savings or ISA (she's 1).

The rest of our wages is "fun money" for us each.

I put a portion of my fun money into an ISA and savings each month, just in case the unlikely event that I get read The Script and find myself out on a limb.

DH knows I have some separate savings, but not really how much. I know he has a few personal pots but they don't exceed mine.

Have we nailed it? Have we got a MN approved way of splitting finances? 😁

IABU - we haven't nailed it.
IANBU - we've nailed it

I be honest I think the 80-85% input overcomplicates it! We put all our wages into a joint account and from that everything is paid - bills, joint savings and 'fun money' But fun money is paid equally into our own accounts.

Pretty much, yes.

I thought this thread was seeking the ideal set up...

For us it is ideal 🤷‍♀️

it’s worked well for us and is no less valid than any other set up.

Every year we look at the previous year's post-tax income and split bills along the same ratio.

Person A (higher earner) pays mortgage, internet, car insurance. Also voluntarily overpays mortgage but that's not counted.
Person B (lower earner) pays council tax, utilities, cleaner

Food shops and other spending (holidays, etc.) is 50/50.

My partner has a public sector DB pension, I have to fund my own - that's not taken into account.

The bills are paid, neither of us knows or cares what each other has in our bank accounts left over and what it gets spent on.

No resentment or need to start a thread on here if someone treats themselves, as it's not from joint money.

Stress-free and it works.

This is also my set up - it's not particularly unusual to have one person taking the financial weight.

This is also my set up - it's not particularly unusual to have one person taking the financial weight.

There's financial weight and then there's...everything. Most people call that freeloading. If they're not working and it's some other set up (childcare, housework etc) that's obviously different. But if both are working, one person paying for everything is bizarre and obviously not an "ideal" set up for the majority of families.

It’s not “bizarre”

in many families it’s not unusual for the male partner to be the bigger earner and the majority of the financial burden to fall on him.

it’s also not unusual for the female partner to have a job or part time job to cover their own spending.

women working for “pin money” is a well known phrase. Hardly in the realms of bizarre.

or is it just that a woman being the main earner and the man having the “pin money” job that’s bizarre?

@Yogatoga1 no you're probably right sorry I probably am looking at it from the wrong lens (I am the higher earner by quite some margin as it happens so I'm not intending to come across sexist, though I probably am being prejudiced) I suppose it's the fact your fella doesn't pay for anything? That just seems really odd to me if someone works but isn't adding anything financially to the household and is keeping money for themselves. But on reflection I suppose if there is a particularly large gap between earners it wouldn't necessarily be unusual if you as the main earner still have enough spare cash for yourself as well, and so long as the the minimal earner is still happy with the amount they have left over.