Mother’s Day & MIL

[ohmygolli]

So we get mil a Mother’s Day card - no issue. Although we have a very strained relationship.
if it wasn’t for me getting a card and potential gift for her my DH wouldn’t bother!
last year she expected a card from my baby. we have had a very strained difficult relationship from day 1 but having a baby made things more difficult. She’s never treated me like I’m part of the family or good enough..

so anyway, she got upset that we didn’t get her a card from her grandkid..
it’s Mother’s Day, why would she get one? Esp considering the rship.
It’s Mother’s Day again this weekend in the UK. I’m not getting her a card from my DS.

AIBU?
what would you do?

I'd stop getting her anything. Nothing to do with this but because she's not your mum, it's not your responsibility, and if she's pissed off she can direct that to her actual child but you!

PLEASE stop getting her a card and gift and let DH ‘not bother’ too.

I get my MIL a card from the kids as
a) I love her
b) the kids love her
c) I want her to know this

Otherwise I wouldn't.

🫠🤦🏽‍♀️

I get my mum a card from the kids, always have done as I got one for my Nanna when I was growing up. Never given ex MIL one as ex DP never gave her one anyway as from another culture and not something they celebrate

She's being silly. Don't get the idea of grandchildren sending cards at all. Don't get cards that pretend to be from children who are too small to have scribbled in it themselves. Don't get why you are at all involved in a mother's day card to someone else's mother.

If DH doesn't bother that's on him.

What would I do? i'd just stop sending any cards for anything. let her and her son maintain their own relationship, like they did before you came along.

Oh, fuck that.

She’s not your mum. If her son can’t be arsed, it’s really not your problem.

Leave it to your DH. If he wants to spend £3 on an extra card from your child for a quiet life then that seems sensible. But I’d leave the whole thing to him

I love my MIL, she's a brilliant granny to my kids who both adore her - but she's not their mother and there's no way I'd be getting her a mother's day card from them. I'm their only mum.

September is Grandparents day should you want to. I'd stop doing it all. Let your dh. But next time she said anything I would say why no card.

I struggle every year with getting a card for my MIL, there should be a card that says..
“To a mediocre Mother and frankly neglectful Grandmother.

Your son loves you but the rest of us aren’t fussed, still have a Happy Mother’s Day”

Never found one.

Obviously you could make one but you aren't going to do that.

She’s bonkers. I would get involved with any card or present buying for her

I hear you, the trawl of the shops for a card that doesn't say to a brilliant mum or something similar is quite the thing!

My kids never bought a Mother's Day card or Father's Day card for their grandparents....nor did I buy on their behalf when they were little....
They buy me a card as I'm their mother ....

Took me 20 seconds in Card Factory yesterday to find a selection of Mothering Sunday ones that were blank inside. No problem.

Good god woman, what are you doing buying a Mother’s Day card for your husband?! She’s HIS mother, and he presumably is a grown adult man? If it matters that much to her, she should have raised him to care about that type of thing. Getting one from your kids or not is up to you, but I don’t understand why you would, she’s not their mother.

Step away from the mil bat shittery.. If dh buys her a card she gets one. If he doesn't it isn't on you.
My ils never had my mobile number. Made for a better relationship(and marriage) and quieter life..

It’s Mother’s Day not grandmothers day. She’s also not your mother so your DH should get a card and if he doesn’t, why do you?

Thanks all

i do it for my dh because we both get sh*t and he gets emotionally blackmailed if we don’t.
stupid really

i think you’re right though.. better just to stop all together 😅

so glad not many get cards from their kids to their grandparents.

my moms amazing, but I never get her a card from DS either.. she also wouldn’t expect it

If her son loves her, he can put the effort in to buying his own card for her. What is the point of these things if it doesn’t come from the mothers actual child?

I have a strained relationship with my MIL so does DH he doesn't bother with mothers day so I don't either.

God no. Let her know now where she stands. Don’t let her manipulate you

But that’s up to him, it’s not your place to interfere in their relationship (no matter how good your intentions are), maybe he doesn’t want to send her a card? He’s an adult, he can make that choice for himself OP, stay out of it.

I’d actually be pretty angry if my husband decided to send my mum a Mother’s Day card from me, when I had decided not to because I didn’t have a good relationship with her.