Mother’s Day & MIL

[ohmygolli]

So we get mil a Mother’s Day card - no issue. Although we have a very strained relationship.
if it wasn’t for me getting a card and potential gift for her my DH wouldn’t bother!
last year she expected a card from my baby. we have had a very strained difficult relationship from day 1 but having a baby made things more difficult. She’s never treated me like I’m part of the family or good enough..

so anyway, she got upset that we didn’t get her a card from her grandkid..
it’s Mother’s Day, why would she get one? Esp considering the rship.
It’s Mother’s Day again this weekend in the UK. I’m not getting her a card from my DS.

AIBU?
what would you do?

It is absolutely fucking ridiculous that you get a card for your husband to give to his mother. You are not his bloody PA. If he can't be bothered, so be it.

Hmm, it's not just the insides I have to look out for it's the fronts! My mum solves the problem by never buying one that says daughter on it.

Grandmothers should get gifts and cards on mother days BUT if should be their own children buying these not their children's partners .

If she's upset say 'I did remind him but your his mum take it up with him please!'

That's what I meant! Just say "Happy Mothering Sunday" on the front and then blank inside. Loads of them.

If her son can't be bothered and you don't want to then I wouldn't get her anything. W do it in my family - but we are all nice and get along really well

last year she expected a card from my baby

😂😂 oh ffs 🤦‍♀️

Not your job to keep the peace. Why are you doing the wifework? If he doesn’t want shit from her, he needs to buy/send a card. Your dc should not be involved, she is not their mum.

the AIBU was more around the fact she wanted a card from my child…
and I won’t get her one from him!

I hear you all re getting her a card from DH. I just do it to keep the peace!! But yeah I get it, I shouldnt

My MIL used to send Valentines cards to my kids when they were small..

Step back from organising anything. Leave it to your DH.
get him to get a plain piece of card and copy your DC handprint as a card/gift. Zero expense.

Yep, this. That's how I feel about it, too, and I'd gladly get my MIL a regular card or a smartshow 3d video card etc from the kids if we're on good terms in general, but I totally wouldn't go these lenghts if we aren't.

The quote didn't work somehow 🙄

You're not your DH personal assistant and it's not your job to buy stationery to "keep the peace".

If she's got a problem with something she needs to speak to her son about it. Don't buy a card, from your DH or from your baby, and don't answer the phone if she calls. Sorted.

I can't get my head around any of this.

1. your dh can bloody get the card. Why are you doing it?
2. I don't understand why on earth grandchildren are supposed to send cards to their grandmother.

I like a bit of mothers day as much as the next person, but people get way too invested in this frankly.

If DH doesn't do it, it doesn't get done and any fall out is his to deal with.

Honestly my DH doesn't do cards, it does make me cringe a bit but I think I'd cringe even more if I did it for him. I don't get cards for anything either. If they wanted him to be a card-sending type they should have drummed this into him when they brought him up.