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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for some positive stories on unexplained infertility

34 replies

bringpositivitea · 04/03/2024 12:26

I'm 29, hubby 36. We've got a child together, they're just over 2, conceived first month. TTC #2 for almost a year, unexplained infertility, had all possible fertility investigations, about to start IUI first cycle. AMH is 11 so not great for my age. I woke up today completely deflated and just feel low all day because I don't know if we'll ever give DC a sibling. Unsure if we will afford IVF, and even if we can afford 1 cycle, will that be enough? I know it's pathetic, I should be happy we've got DC. Any positive stories, statistics or hope to cheer me up?

OP posts:

justjuggling · 04/03/2024 23:45

I didn’t have unexplained infertility but did have secondary infertility so understand all the ‘we should be grateful to have DC1’ etc. I was never ungrateful but felt my family was incomplete. Anyway, we could afford one IVF cycle so didn’t do IUI and went straight to IVF. Only produced 2 eggs, both fertilised and DC2 is asleep in the next door room as I’m writing this message. Sometimes one cycle is enough! Wishing you lots of luck.

letthemalldoone · 05/03/2024 00:12

A close friend was told that the odds of her and her husband conceiving were around the same as winning the lottery. They had IVF in Harley Street nearly 30 years ago and had twins. Three months later, she got pregnant naturally! Sometime amazing things happen!

x2boys · 05/03/2024 00:22

ALPHAFEMALESINCEBIRTH · 04/03/2024 21:15

i have a great one

im 43 and never had a period ever, i have severe PCOS and was told at 17 i was infertile

i developed early as i was a D cup at 9 and 6ft by 11, i just never started my periods

ive only ever had the one boyfriend, we met when i was 18 and he was 17 in 1999
for both of us we were firsts(sexual and romantic)

as i was told i was infertile the year before we never used contraception(to this day i couldn't tell you how to use a condom)

got pregnant in 2003,only knew because i developed extreme sickness the week between Christmas and new year and though it was food poisoning
i was so ill i went to the doctor and they made me do a test even though i said about the infertility
turned out i was 8 weeks i did have hyperemesis gravidarum through out the whole pregnancy
son was born in sept 2004(4 day labour)

2nd son was born end of July 2010,he took 4 years of clomid tablets, still never had a period so couldn't take them the first day of period as normal i just took them different times of the month as told

i was doing weekly pregnancy tests and fortnightly scans to see if any eggs were being released

told no for eggs on the last scan but 2 weeks later i took a test as normal, i did it on a 3 for a £1 pack from Poundland (i went through so many of these) and it was very faint so i did the clear blue one and i was 2-3 weeks
complete shock

i went massive early, at 14 weeks i was showing, i had deep scans for twins as i was so big and baby was so big doctors said i was weeks ahead of what i said i was, i knew i was right
i knew why when he came out (8 days late in my estimation,13 hour labour)
he was born massive 11lb11oz and 29 inches, natural birth but horrendous labour

2013 we wanted 1 more but nothing happened
NHS wouldnt do IVF as i conceived naturally twice and we didn't have that type of money and they wouldnt fund and more clomid
ive tried all herbal remedies over the years

ive had all sorts said about miracles and gods gifts but as a atheist that doesn't wash will me

even at 43 i would love another one but partner left us all in winter 2020(for my ex friend) after being together 22 years, we were still technically still trying and ive been single ever since
it did cause a emotional breakdown that im slowly recovering from but that's another story

so if i can conceive 2 kids naturally with out ever having a period i have hope for anyone

Wow that's amazing
I did have periods but was very irregular I could go upto six to eight months without one so assumed I would need fertility treatment when I wanted to have babies
I didn't meet my dh until I was 31 so I was quite worried about conceiving we got married within six months and I came off the pill six months later
I got pregnant with Ds1 after five weeks of trying

When he was about 18;months we started trying again this time it took 12 months but I got pregnant again with Ds 2 ( he does have complex disabilities but that has nothing to do with my fertility issues ) I feel very lucky to have my boys
Anecdotally I have a friend who also had fertility issues she got pregnant with her daughter after a couple of years of trying and when she tried to conceive again nothing happened her and her dh had tests and they were told it was unlikely they would conceive again naturally and they should be grateful they had a daughter ,she got pregnant again the next month and they had a son
Doctors are not always right.

HoorayForRain · 05/03/2024 00:24

Unexplained infertility for my husband here, and PCOS for me.

One IVF cycle later and our 9 week old daughter is stating in my lap being fed.

Best of luck - don't lose faith.

FirstTimeMum897 · 05/03/2024 00:56

My friend and her DH have just had a healthy baby boy after 6 years of trying. They are only 35 so been trying since 29. It may well be a coincidence but in the 6 months before they conceived her DH went very healthy (she was already fit and and healthy and not drinking). He was already fit as in exercising but he changed his diet and stopped drinking alcohol entirely. Sperm quality is extremely important, it's not just about you. You are young enough that you have time to try for longer and do IVF too. There is plenty of hope for you.

ToRecordOnlyWater · 05/03/2024 01:28

Partner and I were actively trying for 3 years (as in, tracking ovulation religiously and all that), but I was off BC and not preventing for closer to 5 years. I had an exploratory laparoscopy as they suspected endometriosis due to my heavy painful periods in of 2022, got the results shortly after where the specialist told me I didn’t have endo and all looked perfect.

I should have been thrilled but I wanted answers or a reason and struggled a lot with feeling like my body just wasn’t working - you spend your high school years terrified and hearing stories of people falling pregnant so easily and the reality was just so different! My husband already has a daughter and we knew it wasn’t an issue his end. I was really deflated and stopped tracking my ovulation entirely.

End of Dec ‘22 my husband was offered a permanent role at his place of work rather than as a contractor, which meant a steady guaranteed income each month (we had been living paycheck to paycheck, having to borrow money from friends etc. as for a while we were both self-employed and it wasn’t financially viable). The relief of not having to worry about money as much was an incredible feeling.

I truly believe the weight of money worries lifting is what made my body feel ‘ready’- maybe I’m just being silly but I think stress must have had something to do with it. Had some weird spotting and had the urge to test in January of last year, and I was pregnant! Felt surreal after being told to get saving up for IVF.

concretevase · 05/03/2024 01:38

Excited101 · 04/03/2024 22:36

We followed the advanced plan from It Starts With The Egg and it was groundbreaking. Pregnant within 4 months! I’m nearly 16 weeks along now and we’d been trying nearly 2 years.

I second this - I had unexplained infertility and two failed IVF cycles until I read this book, which was recommended to me by a friend who was also doing IVF and swore by this book. We both have toddlers the same age now.

ConsuelaHammock · 05/03/2024 01:46

I had secondary infertility. Tried for number 2 for over 3 years. I was 37 when he was born. I had my tubes flushed during keyhole surgery. I also took clomid. After one doctor’s appointment I took my husband to Holland and Barrett and asked them for all the remedies etc to aid with fertility. We both took various vitamins and supplements. I can’t recall them all but one was zinc. I was pregnant within a couple of months.
I’m not convinced my infertility wasn’t influenced by the traumatic and incredibly premature birth of my first child.

Mathsbabe · 05/03/2024 16:49

Did one cycle of IVF at 38.5 and got DC1 from the cycle and DC2 born from a frozen embryo 15 months after DC1.
I was very overweight and we had unexplained infertility. The only thing in our favour was that we had suffered a miscarriage and so shown we could get pregnant.
I got through IVF taking one day at a time. Mine at 28 and nearly 27 now. Good luck

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