Turning in a private road

[RoadyMcRoadUser]

Preparing to get flamed for this…..There is a large private road literally next door to my kids primary school which is situated in a cul de sac. The public road gets massively congested in this cul de sac as you can imagine. I have sometimes had no choice but to turn my car in the private road. I have never parked there and doing the school run twice a day have never seen anyone else parked up there either. There’s a guy who lives in the road who will literally stand and glare at me if I turn the car round in his road on the school run. It’s like he comes out of his house specifically at school run times to observe this.
I know you aren’t “supposed” to put an inch of the nose of your car in a private road. But equally, there’s a part of me that thinks if you are that enraged by your private road being used by anyone other than the people that live there, then why would you buy a house directly next door to a school in a cul de sac with no other turning options? Am I being an arsehole? Or is this man overly precious?

I lived in a house that had a private road at the side and main road at the front that was next to a school and church. Every man and his dog used to park at the side of my house before and after school, and on Sundays for church. One day, when very heavily pregnant, I’d been out and returned to a man sat in his car directly outside my house on the private road. There were other empty cars parked as was my DHs car which was directly behind his, so there was no room for me to park and no room on the main road. I got out, knocked on his window and pointed out that it was my house and could he move. He thought it acceptable to swear at me, tell me to F off and refused to move. I thought I would wait in my car for someone to return after picking up their child, which just happened to be the car in front of his. I was able to park my car in that space - but I was overenthusiastic with the reversing and parked inches from his bumper. Sadly he was unable to get his car out, I refused to move my car, DH had his car keys with him so the very sweet man and his wife (who’d been picking up their child) ended up walking home. Sometimes people are so entitled!

Clearly the owners of the road care. Lots of things are civil offences rather than criminal but most sensible people avoid doing things like parking on someone's drive or parking / driving in an area that they're not supposed to.

About 15 years ago we looked at the costs associated with electrifying our gates and it was at least £8k then so would cost significantly more now plus the ongoing running costs. Why should we have to go to the expense and hassle of doing that just because someone thinks the law doesn't apply to them?

How would you feel if you had to pay for your driveway to be fenced off because random people kept parking on it, this is no different to a private road. It’s just obnoxious to ignore the ‘private road’ sign.

Clearly the owners of the road care

Don't buy a house on a private road if you don't want to pay the upkeep?

Thankfully I live in a very sensible liberal middle class area where we have more important things to worry about than who's using our driveway to turn around. My neighbours are free to use my driveway to turn around or even park on one of the spaces any time they wish.

Years ago my neighbour did something similar. There was a persistent offender parent who parked outside my neighbour's house, frequently blocking them in or blocking the road, for weeks. They were spoken to nicely at first and the school spoke to them but they still insisted they had the right to park there. They were warned that as a private road we are entitled to lock our gates whenever we please and they obviously thought my neighbour was bluffing. One morning they parked up again and my neighbour went and locked the gates and refused to open them. They shouted and caused such a fuss that they had a huge audience then burst into tears and got back in their car. The next thing we knew was they'd called the police saying they were being threatened (which the audience confirmed hadn't happened). The police confirmed my neighbour was in the right and they were in the wrong. Hopefully they were very late for work and we never saw the car again!

I think you don't live rurally. I had no idea most kids could walk upwards of five miles to school.

My house is on the corner of a private road. Some people are horrid to people who even dare to walk down it. I have seen them make children cry. Excuse for nasty behaviour,

If you're able to drive around on the road he's just as able to leave his house and glare at people on his road

We happily pay for OUR upkeep including £50k to resurface the road which was brought forward by many years due to the daily 100+ parents / school delivery traffic using our road as a turning circle. We've spent somewhere between £80-90k in the last 15 years on maintenance and insurance but why should we have to pay for random drivers who can't read or obey the law?

In addition to that, we've had 3 drivers in the last 20 years crash into and destroy our gates / gate posts - none of them should have been in the road in the first place.

@Saymyname28 I agree with your theory that people can’t moan if they buy a house near a school/ hospital / trainline etc but if you live in a private road then, you respect the fact that they have paid and do continue to pay for the ‘privilege’ of living in a private road. If you are in a building and a door has a sign saying private on it, would you ignore it and enter ?

You could be taking about our private road which is next door to a primary school. I don’t have a glaring neighbour though.

it doesn’t bother me particularly because I am the far end of the cul de sac but the two houses at the opening to the cul de sac get very upset about it. The thing is the private road is narrow and in the past walls and cars have been bumped into and it all contributes to wear and tear of the road which we all have to pay towards

and occasionally we get blocked in which is very annoying indeed

having said all of that, we knew when we bought the house there would be some chaos around school time. But at the end of the day people that don’t live there should keep out. Or ideally just walk as the vast majority live 10 minutes walk from the school. I really hope an LTN or similar arrives eventually so we don’t have to endure the noise, fumes and general chaos

@RMNofTikTok Happy to pay the fee for living in a private road, that WE own and pay for. Oh yes, I’m sure you’d be very happy for me to come and park on your drive everyday whilst I go to work 😂and if I accidentally trash your grass or garden wall, then you’d be happy to pay for the repairs. Of course you would 🤔

Id pay to get those spring up bollard things so when entitled people trespass on my road their car gets wrecked by a bollard shooting up out the ground 😂 im sure after one or two cars got written off, people would steer clear of my private road 🤷🏼‍♀️

And I agree with you in theory. But human nature is human nature. My hospital where my maternity care is, about half the car park the bays are "permit holder owner" but the car park is rammed with people trying to get to their maternity appointments. You think when one of those spaces becomes clear that someone isn't going to use it becuase they don't have a permit? Nah, people are stressed, rushing, just trying to get on with their day. It's like the concept of elephant paths. People should stick to the path, but they don't, they walk over grass verges etc.

You can't buy a house in an area known for parking/driving issues then complain about that very thing. No they shouldn't be doing it, but you knew they would be, if it bothered you then don't buy the house.

Life's a lot more stressful when you try to change other people's behaviours than just not putting yourself in that situation in the first place.

Well if you're that concerned about the upkeep of the road, gate it off. Im not sure what special concrete is being used that means it cannot tolerate normal highway use, perhaps ask for a refund. My road hasn't been resurfaced for 7 years, no pot holes in sight and I live next to a school so it's well used.

They probably bought on a private road so as not to have put up with non-residents using their road for their own convenience, whilst paying extra on top of council tax to maintain it privately.

Having said that… Lived on a private road previously. Never again. Too many entitled residents expecting their unpaid voluntary road committee member neighbours to sort out their civil disputes with other neighbours or road users.

@Saymyname28
I leave my house 30 minutes earlier than needed every morning to avoid the school traffic, I accept this as I chose to live near a school but I didn’t actually think about having to question or think about people being entitled and ignoring a private road sign when I purchased the house. I also have no problem with someone in our private road because they have missed a turning or are lost or have an issue with their car etc but the same school mums that use the private road every day to turn around or park in everyday are just inconsiderate and entitled.

If I need to turn around I purposely look for driveways with 'no turning' signs. I sometimes stop and turn around in driveways with these pathetic signs even if I didn't need to turn around.

It amuses me imagining the anger and outrage.

That is amusing. Doing your little turn in the road then going in the wrong off in the wrong direction. It's not as if you have anything else to do with your day eh @Hardlyworking Some really need to look for those glimmers, bless you.

By private road you mean a road that the residents pay to maintain, that is not maintained by the council and when you along with the many others drive in it, turn round in it cause additional wear and tear to the road over time which he then has to foot the bill for? I can understand why he is a bit peeved tbh, how would you feel if someone used your driveway to turn round each day, as well as other people? If I was resident on the road I'd propose we put gates up to prevent non residents accessing the road.

I get what your saying about well don't buy a house there then, but maybe the house has been there longer than the school? House inherited from parents etc. or if they have lived there a long time it is likely the school was never that busy when they purchased the house so wasn't an issue at the time. When I was at primary school (25 years ago) about 80% of the children walked to school, which doesn't seem to be the case nowadays.

I live by a school and the amount of entitled parents who block drives, turn round on private drives and some neighbours have even have people park on their drives to drop their darlings off is amazing. This isn't something I knew happened till I moved in though, we focused our research on what the area was like after dark for any anti social behaviour etc, but schools are getting busier over time and less and less parents have the time to walk their kids to school. Luckily for me now I have my own kids, I do live within walking distance so won't have to battle all the other parents on the school run.

Yep pre DC I'd have thought lovely outstanding rated village school next door, fantastic! I didn't realise that meant everyone within 7 miles would fight to send their kids there.

Since patents won't stop driving to school, many for good reasons... do you think schools/councils should take responsibility for this, and come up with a parking plan that is both safe for the children and not causing traffic problems...
Or should the onus be on parents to not be idiots... and remember its children their idiocy is putting in danger?

Do the people who think private roads should be available for public use also think the same of, say, their private gardens? Their private living rooms?

I didnt mention any legal aspect @ItsAllAboutTheDosh so not sure why id need to understand the law. Although I do... :)
Op asked if they were being an arsehole I said yes you're not entitled to something you down own just because its convenient for you and I stand by that.

@RoadyMcRoadUser I'm intrigued, where are you? This exact scenario happens locally, and the angry man is quite renowned on social media for his reactions...