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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How many only children are there in your DCs class?

106 replies

PremiumRaa · 01/03/2024 21:10

DD5 is an only child. For a while we were happy with one but for a year have been TTC#2 with no luck and I'm feeling extra rubbish about it tonight because her best friend at school (who was an only) has just told us she is to become a big sister. I feel so bad for DD.

Somehow it didn't seem so bad when her friend was in the same situation and I'm feeling terrible tonight. I'm 38 and wondering if it will ever happen.

I don't want DD to feel like the odd one out and I'm worried she already does. In her class there are 28 children, 8 are only children and 20 have siblings. What's the ratio at your school?

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 01/03/2024 21:13

About the same. Dd is an only..there's things against and for. I'd have loved two but life gives you what you need. One healthy dd is amazing for me and dh. We a triangle together, secure and safe. Love it but have loved to have been a square too. However now dd at school feel gap be too wide so happy in our triangle of three ..

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 01/03/2024 21:20

I've just totted it up and it's also 8 (out of 30). I wish you all the best for TTCing - I know how awful it is waiting and hoping and not knowing if it'll happen for you. It's sad and stressful for you. But please don't worry for your DD - there are both pros and cons to having siblings, she isn't in a 'worse' position than her friend. I know lots of adult only children (I'm married to one) and I don't think there's any truth at all to the stereotypes. The only thing that is consistently true across them is that they have a close relationship to their parents. Your family of three is just as fantastic and complete as a family of four would be.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 01/03/2024 21:26

No only children in either of my dcs classes, 45+ families

bows101 · 01/03/2024 21:26

I've just counted too as an interesting thought. I think it's 21 with and 6 without (inc my DS). My DS is desperate for a sibling but unlikely to have one. The majority of his class have siblings either a couple of years older in the same school or a couple of years younger and always in the pram next to them on drop off.

PremiumRaa · 01/03/2024 21:27

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned Thank you I needed to hear that tonight. I feel so guilty because we didn't try for so long and I think I could have left it too late. I've started spiralling and worrying DD will always resent us.

OP posts:
Mazuslongtoenail · 01/03/2024 21:31

One in the 26 I think. But my two closest friends are only children and both say they don’t mind one bit. They’re also the loveliest, kindest women and I honestly don’t think you need to feel guilty for your DD. There’s lots of positives for her. No situation is all good or all bad, just different.

Catsandcuddles · 01/03/2024 21:32

Genuinely no idea, my son is in a full class of 26 but I have no idea how many of those kids have siblings. Has your daughter even mentioned wanting a sibling? Just asking as my son is 5 and he's never even mentioned wanting a sibling, even though all of my friends have multiple kids

Seadreamers · 01/03/2024 21:34

Ours is a 3-form entry with 30 per class, so 90 families. I have no idea how many only children there are - I can think of one who I have known for years but there will undoubtedly be more. Outside of school I know 11 families of only children (as is ours).

There has been many threads about only children - please don’t stress about the effect on your DD - as @MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned said.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 01/03/2024 21:35

In my sons class none are only children but in my daughters one.

StrawberryWater · 01/03/2024 21:36

Not many.

Ds is an only (wanted more but never happened). I can think of 1 other out of a total of 25 (including ds) and that’s it.

TheMushroomFamily · 01/03/2024 21:37

How do people know this? I have 4 children and wouldn’t have a clue how many only children in each of their classes or any of them for that matter 😂

FloralQuestions · 01/03/2024 21:38

DD has a very small class (9 kids) and there are 3 only children (DD is one of them).

There are another two who each have a much older sibling (10+ years older).

Year 2, by the way.

Maybe there's such a high proportion of only children because it's a prep school (parents tend to be older than average, have children later, and it's prohibitively expensive for most people to put two children through the private system).

PremiumRaa · 01/03/2024 21:38

@Catsandcuddles she has never mentioned wanting a sibling apart from when she found out her best friend was going to be a big sister then she started to cry and said she wanted the same. It broke my heart.

OP posts:
catsnore · 01/03/2024 21:38

I had an only DD for a long time. There were no other only children in her class of approx 30 kids. It did seem to bother her a bit, we were ttc and I was hyper aware of the issue.

Later we moved and I was relieved to find at least 3-4 only children in her smaller class of 20ish. 2 of the girls were in her year and I've since become friends with their parents. Both of them are very happy as only children. One openly says she doesn't want a brother or sister.

Happily after years of heartache we had another dd when she was 9 so she got her wish in the end!

NewName24 · 01/03/2024 21:40

TheMushroomFamily · 01/03/2024 21:37

How do people know this? I have 4 children and wouldn’t have a clue how many only children in each of their classes or any of them for that matter 😂

This is what I was going to ask.

I mean Confused

Songbird54321 · 01/03/2024 21:41

I think there's 24 in my daughter's class and I can say 4 only children for definite but I am that mother that pretty much never drops off or picks up her child from school so I reckon there could be more I don't know

Diskobobulated · 01/03/2024 21:42

20, no only children.

Desecratedcoconut · 01/03/2024 21:43

Two only children in a class of 28, I think. Of those two, one has a raft of cousins at the school.

Tarantella6 · 01/03/2024 21:44

Honestly no idea. There are a few boys without siblings in DD1's class, but I don't know much about most of DD2's.

There is one girl who became a big sister pretty much on day 1 of Y3 and she's been fairly vile ever since. I assume she much preferred being an only!

WarningOfGails · 01/03/2024 21:46

One out of 25 in DS’s class.

WarningOfGails · 01/03/2024 21:47

WarningOfGails · 01/03/2024 21:46

One out of 25 in DS’s class.

Oh no just remembered that child has an older brother! So none in his class! Which does seem surprising.

Turnoffthelight · 01/03/2024 21:48

There are 18 children in DD (5) class and I think it’s just her and one other girl who are only children. But she has several friends outside of school who are only children too.

DD is an IVF baby and will be staying an only and has never asked for a sibling. I did struggle initially with the thought of her being an only but as she has got older I have seen so many benefits and now wouldn’t have it any other way.

idontlikealdi · 01/03/2024 21:48

No idea!

budgetbunny · 01/03/2024 21:51

Out of a class of 32 I think there are just 3 only children. It's a Catholic school if that makes any difference and most families have more than 2 with 3-4 actually the most common. Also I think there are only 2 divorced families (us being one of them)

mrlistersgelfbride · 01/03/2024 21:51

I'm 39 and my daughter is 6, so similar ages to you. I've thought about having another the last year or so but we haven't tried, as circumstances aren't ideal and I don't think it will happen. I regularly have difficult feelings about this.
It's hard when your only child 'allies' announce second pregnancies, I've been there.

To answer your question; in DDs year group, there's several only kids, 3 others on her class and 3 in the other - I could be forgetting some.
Try not to worry, your DD will not resent you and will no doubt have a lovely childhood.
Do you do lots of child centred things? I have a brother but my parents flat out refused to go anywhere kid -friendly on holiday (always walking holidays) , we were rarely allowed friends over, little kids TV, no sleepovers, no softplay.
My DD might be an only but she has the life of riley in comparison and a full social life 😅

You will be ok either way. Good luck to you x

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