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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD Party at the same time as another childs

27 replies

OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:31

I sent my daughter’s party invites out a few days ago and have had 3 RSVP’s. She has come back from nursery today with an invitation to another child’s birthday and it is on the same day with an overlap time of 30 mins so people won’t be able to go to both. I am now totally stressed and worried no one will show up. Worst part is I didn’t invite this child to the party as my daughter had never really mentioned her so they don’t seem to play.
I think we should move the party but my husband says I am being ridiculous and we have already sent the invites out. Would you move the party or would you contact the other Mum to explain the clash?

OP posts:
budgetbunny · 01/03/2024 16:33

How many children did you invite and what did you book?

Original poster
OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:39

20 people from her preschool class, there are about 35 in total. We have booked a soft play as exclusive hire so we need about 20 to go as a minimum. We have 8 children going from outside preschool

OP posts:
NigellaAwesome · 01/03/2024 16:40

I would contact the other child's parent and suggest you have a joint party as there has been a clash.

Original poster
OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:41

NigellaAwesome · 01/03/2024 16:40

I would contact the other child's parent and suggest you have a joint party as there has been a clash.

They have already booked somewhere separate though so I'm assuming they won't move it as they will lose their deposit as would we if we cancelled ours

OP posts:
lateviolin · 01/03/2024 16:43

I understand the anxiety - but your invitation was first, and I'm sure you will get 12 out of 20. People are just slow at responding now.

mindutopia · 01/03/2024 16:44

I would just leave it as is. It's a big class and not all children will be invited to each. Let people choose and accept that some may come for part of the time/leave early/come late if they are doing both parties. You may have to pay for extra children to get the exclusive hire.

Mrsttcno1 · 01/03/2024 16:44

Are they both the same type of party? And how old are the children? If the party’s aren’t exactly the same and the kids are old enough I think lots of parents will just attend both, a few weeks ago when I was looking after my goddaughter she had 2 parties on the same day (a better social life than me!) and there was an hour overlap, the first party was an art & craft type thing and the second was at a soft play, we attended both and just left the first one a bit early. There were quite a few kids who overlapped and were at both parties and it didn’t cause any issue, she was happy she got 2 pieces of cake!

Original poster
OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:46

Mrsttcno1 · 01/03/2024 16:44

Are they both the same type of party? And how old are the children? If the party’s aren’t exactly the same and the kids are old enough I think lots of parents will just attend both, a few weeks ago when I was looking after my goddaughter she had 2 parties on the same day (a better social life than me!) and there was an hour overlap, the first party was an art & craft type thing and the second was at a soft play, we attended both and just left the first one a bit early. There were quite a few kids who overlapped and were at both parties and it didn’t cause any issue, she was happy she got 2 pieces of cake!

Ours is at a soft play and theirs is at a village hall and starts half an hour before ours ends

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 01/03/2024 16:47

This happened when DS was about 10. Neither of them had invited the other one but there were some mutual friends invited. I got in touch with the other child’s mum and we ended up moving DS’s party.

Rocknrolla21 · 01/03/2024 16:48

Just leave it op. 20 is the minimum you pay for, you’re not going to get kicked out if less attend. You’ve got your day, 8 from outside school and had 3 replies already. That’s already a good amount of kids and no doubt more will end up replying. If you’re really worried then maybe make up some invitations for the remainder of the class you didn’t invite. The kids will decide themselves who their favourite friends are and whose party to attend

ChampagneSuperDrinker · 01/03/2024 16:50

We had similar and I just moved ours as luckily the soft play still had the morning slot free. Figured it was easier than the other mum trying to move as they had a hall booked with separate entertainer etc.

Mrsttcno1 · 01/03/2024 16:51

OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:46

Ours is at a soft play and theirs is at a village hall and starts half an hour before ours ends

Show quote history

I wouldn’t worry then, it probably just means your party will be left an hour earlier x

HaPPy8 · 01/03/2024 16:55

If your daughter doesn’t play with her they probably have different friends so I wouldn’t worry

TiIIyM · 01/03/2024 17:10

I'd leave it as is, the ones who want to go will. It's not about numbers, it's about who wants to be there. The people who received 2 invites will know which one they received first, their choice will be telling on who their child is closer to.

Coconutter24 · 01/03/2024 17:24

Would you move the party or would you contact the other Mum to explain the clash?

What outcome would you hope for by explaining the clash?

Sunnydays0101 · 01/03/2024 17:25

H

Tomorrowtomorrow77 · 01/03/2024 17:26

Honestly, just contact the other parent. If you lose a deposit surely that’s better than having nobody turn up to one of the parties. This happens quite often and I’ve never known it not resolved! Good luck x

Zanatdy · 01/03/2024 17:28

Tough one. If you can move it by an hour it could be worthwhile. You could always invite the other child and text the mum saying oh I just realised Mary’s invite is still in daughter bag, but our parties clash. Maybe see if one can be moved, but it might not be possible. Otherwise guess parents will ask their children which party they’d prefer to go to. I remember DS2 going to two once. He vomited at the second one then twisted his ankle, vomiting a few times after the twisting meaning an A&E visit to be safe as wasn’t sure if he banged his head when he leapt off soft play thing! So we never did 2 in one day again!

RatatouillePie · 01/03/2024 17:29

OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:39

20 people from her preschool class, there are about 35 in total. We have booked a soft play as exclusive hire so we need about 20 to go as a minimum. We have 8 children going from outside preschool

Why do you NEED 20?? You've got 8 from outside then another 3 already.

Your daughter won't care if there's 11 or 20! She'll have an amazing time!

Original poster
OneOchreHedgehog · 01/03/2024 17:33

Tomorrowtomorrow77 · 01/03/2024 17:26

Honestly, just contact the other parent. If you lose a deposit surely that’s better than having nobody turn up to one of the parties. This happens quite often and I’ve never known it not resolved! Good luck x

Thanks, I have ended all calling the other mum and explained the situation. She was very lovely and we have decided to keep the parties as is and just deal with who turns up! Fingers crossed we get a few!

OP posts:
BaaBaaBlackSheepOfTheFam · 01/03/2024 18:36

RatatouillePie · 01/03/2024 17:29

Why do you NEED 20?? You've got 8 from outside then another 3 already.

Your daughter won't care if there's 11 or 20! She'll have an amazing time!

Show quote history

Presumably, like many party hire places, they ask for a minimum nu ber of participants before they'll host it as a party and reserve an area for the children.

AllBlackEverything · 01/03/2024 19:05

RatatouillePie · 01/03/2024 17:29

Why do you NEED 20?? You've got 8 from outside then another 3 already.

Your daughter won't care if there's 11 or 20! She'll have an amazing time!

Show quote history

Are you stupid? The answer to your question is RIGHT THERE in the comment from OP that you have quoted.

surreygirl1987 · 01/03/2024 20:50

Are you stupid? The answer to your question is RIGHT THERE in the comment from OP that you have quoted.

@AllBlackEverything well don't you sound delightful. I'm not going to call you stupid, as I'm not a dick, but as at least one other poster has pointed out, the OP will need to PAY for 20 kids minimum, but technically doesn't NEED 20 kids to actually show up. What are they going to do, kick the OP out? The OP will just be forking out for 20 kids if she doesn't have 20 show.

Londonrach1 · 01/03/2024 20:57

I had this once...I contacted the other mum who was lovely. Her dd had been invited to my dds as class party whilst the other mum party was a smaller 5 child party. We talked as adults in the playground to various other mums together...my dd closest friends came to her party the other mums her dd closest five friends came to hers...just bad timing...all children had a party that weekend and both dd had friends at their party. Both our dds are still friends and all went ok for their birthdays. Contact the mum and chat. 99÷ of parents understand these things happen.

SandyWaves · 02/03/2024 08:26

If you have exclusive use, you could have invited the whole class? Not everyone attends so the whole 35 wouldn't be there, but at least they would have all been invited. The other birthday child has their party now, I think you just need to crack on and accept that you might not have a high turnout.

However, if you have RSVP's already, they should honour the invitation. Its a sticky situation!

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