How do you and your partner split up the household chores?

[Mumbunz]

Chores and housework seem to be never ending and who does the most and who often can lead to many a relationship row.

In your household who does the chores?

If you share - how do you divide them up fairly - who does what and why?

If you have ever rowed or felt fed up about doing the lion's share of chores how did you tackle this issue and how best did you talk about and come up with a way to get more help from your partner?

Do you get the kids to help out? If so what system/rules do you have over household chores?

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We live separately but at the stage it's nearly week on/week off in each others houses.

Luckily we are pretty evenly matched other than a few things. We were both single for a few years before getting together so had no choice to do everything ourselves.

I clean mirrors and skirting boards in his place as I don't think they got much attention before even though the rest of his place is spotless. He is now doing the skirting boards too but cleaning mirrors just doesn't seem to be something he gets at all. It's always smugdy or streaky. I'm also quicker at changing duvet covers.

In my place, he will anything electrical as I hate it & consider it dangerous. If a plug needs replacing, fuse blows etc, he does it. He also does everything related to my car as I'm rubbish at it and have zero interest in learning. He also likes taking out the bins even though I can do it myself.

Finances/life administration still seperate.

He is a better cook than me but never of us are hectic but I think we are both improving now we have someone to cook for other than ourselves. I'm a better at baking which he seems to appreciate.

No kids and similar working hours do it's a lot less challenging for most households.

That said, I recently discovered that his mother used to sometimes call over and used to take the laundry basket home to do his laundry if she thought it was piling up. It would have been helpful to have know this before my underwear was in it! He's 44 fgs and yes, she no longer has a spare key now!

We both do what needs doing as it needs doing unless we're too tired or busy. Most of the time that works, sometimes it doesn't and we have to put a day aside to get everything in order.

Sounds simple but it's taken over five years of negotiating and arguing over what counts as "half" until we realised it was easier to just do it and trust the other would too

DH -
Cooking (he finds it relaxing 😳)
Food shop
Hoovering and mopping
Bins
Litter trays
Clean main bathroom
Organisation - car (insurance, MOT, fuel)

Me -
Laundry
Dusting
Clean en-suite
Tidy bedrooms and playroom
Organisation - calendar, clubs, birthdays, Christmas, mail, bills, life!

Both -
Dishes
Dog walking
Childcare, drop offs and pick ups

DSD (8) -
Help tidy bedroom and playroom
Dirty clothes in laundry basket

We’re both happy with our split - I’d say he does slightly more practical tasks but I do slightly more life admin. For context he works 37.5 hours a week, 22ish of those are from home. I work 45-50, none are from home.

I do everything and get told to fuck off and earn the bacon if I want things to change. DH is a high wage earner but also has expensive taste, whereas I prefer a much simpler life. I am not currently in a position to leave him but I am working towards it.

Divide it up based on who is free and who is good at stuff.
Hubbie does practical stuff, fixing, mowing, mending, painting, DIY, walks dog.
I cook, sew, clean, iron and do laundry as I'm wfh. Kid does hoovering and washing up. We all do the chickens, bins, fire, feeding dog, chopping wood.

Just volunteer jobs. So dh might say "I'm doing chicken and chips tonight, that ok?" Or he will do some hoovering or sorting dishwasher out. I will see something needs doing and announce im doing it.

No set schedule

We both work full time and I work NHS shift patterns so we have cleaners twice a week. Apart from that everybody is responsible for keeping their own room tidy although all bed linen is changed on a Friday. Dirty washing goes in one of three linen baskets however my daughters tend to wash their own stuff, their choice.

The kids ( 19,16 and 14 ) are generally quite tidy and don't need supervision. My husband does most of the cooking unless he's going to be late then my daughters will sort that, nobody cooks on a Friday night.

I work three days so on my days off I do any life admin that might need doing at that time. On those days I also hoover & tidy upstairs, clean the bathroom and change the kids’ beds.

At the weekend we split:

Laundry
Dusting, hoovering, mopping

This weekend my husband part hoovered upstairs so I have less to do on my days off.

I meal plan, shop & cook and he washes up;

He sorts all finances, bills, insurance etc;

We split everything to do with the kids but I do most of the school admin / clubs;

He does the ironing as I am terrible at it and not allowed to even attempt it 😂

We’re very 50/50 taking into account he works more days. We both have equal down time as I treat my two days ‘off’ as work days but making the home / family life run smoothly

My DH initially wanted to clean the house ourselves. However he never did his part so we hired a cleaner before our Dc was born. We kept the cleaner as it’s completely worth it for us once a week. I do general tidy up daily and laundry as needed. For cooking we take turns and order take out if no one wants to cook. Whoever sees the dishwasher full, puts it on; whoever is around when it’s done- empties it- I’d say it’s pretty even. Garbage and recycling are in him. We hire a gardener for the yard. DC is too young to make a real contribution but is involved and learning

Me. I do it all.

Though I am not living with partner. 2 DC.

Both:
Laundry
Cooking
Clean kitchen
Tidy
Dog walking

Me:
Polish surfaces
Clean bathroom
paperwork and appt booking
Meal plan and shop

Him:
Mow lawn
Wash car
Vacuum
Clean guinea pig cage

We have a good distribution of chores, DH generally does more than me because he has more days off a week due to his shifts. We'll each do laundry on our days off. I do 75% of cooking but he'll do it a few times a week.