Neighbours balls

[Kenthighst]

We don't speak to our neighbours due to a number of incidents. The kids are also very rude. Anyways the past few weeks they have been kicking balls over the wall into our garden. They havn't called to the door to ask for them back either as we do not speak at all.
Aibu not to return the balls until they come to the door & politely ask for them back?

Just because you live near someone doesn't mean you must talk to them especially if they have wronged you.
However I would just throw them back, wouldn't want a neighbour I dislike at my door

That's what kids do. We just throw back any balls, frisbees and twice a toy airplane and most of my neighbours did the same for my DS. There is one unpleasant neighbour at the back who is universally hated and never did/does and my boys used to have to sneak into his garden to get them back. Frankly I wouldn't want to go to his door (no way my kids would have done) as he generally acted like a kn*b

We have a toddler, a 6 year old & a little dog who enjoy using the garden immensely. It their personal space & they are perfectly entitled to a safe, private place to play. The balls coming over at force & speed are very hard & could do a lot of damage.

Why would you think it's appropriate to allow your dc to trespass on your neighbours property?

I feel really grateful that our lovely elderly neighbour has always returned our footballs. We have an agreement that we don’t knock as we don’t want to disturb him and he returns them when it is convenient by throwing them back. We are now able to return the favour when his grandchildren visit.

Personally I would return them, but when it suits you. Doesn’t hurt for them to wait.

Just chuck them back over and stop being so petty

How many balls are we talking about! 1-3 and they have a couple left to play with - probably not malicious and if you are not on speaking terms they might not want to ask for them back.

Parents have gone out and bought a crate of cheap footballs and your garden now resembles a giant ball pit - malicious

Just chuck them over the fence the next time you are in the garden FFS

My elder neighbour allows our son to go into her garden to fetch a ball, she will come out and have a chat with him in the summer if she see him. It’s not trespassing if you have an agreement.

accidents happen and why should some one being unapproachable or spiteful mean they get to keep my a child’s toy that doesn’t belong to them

@Kenthighst

Why would you think it's appropriate to allow your dc to trespass on your neighbours property?

As it obviously happened in the past does it really matter now? I actually had no knowledge of it at the time, but, now I know, it doesn't keep me up at night especially as the neighbour is a nasty piece of work. We are not having an issue with him in particular like you are with yours, he is universally horrible to everyone.

The thought of young children going into someone's garden to retrieve a toy doesn't seem particularly dreadful to me though, it's not a crime and I am sure it happens up and down the country all the time. It wouldn't bother me unless they were causing damage but then that's a different matter.

Oh Fgs just throw the balls back. How petty can you get. Kids kick and throw balls and unfortunately they go over fences sometimes. Big deal. In the summer time I throw balls back into my neighbours kids at least twice a day - doesn’t annoy me one bit. If you’ve an issue maybe you need to move away out to the countryside

What are you hoping to a achieve by not rerunning them?

Do you really think anything positive can come from it?

Do you really think the kids do it intentionally especially when it leaves them without a ball to play with?

Unless you can afford to move, would you not just try and at least be reasonable?

I also belief kids shouldn't be punished because of their parents behaviour? If they are bold young kids, it isn't even their fault. It's due to poor parenting.

I can't understand your logic or approach at all. You are only making a bad situation worse.

Unless they have an actual cannon set up in their back garden, you're being ridiculous. They are children's footballs, not weapons of mass destruction.

You are making a rod for your own back. Just wait til your 6 year old starts throwing balls about and they accidentally go over the fence. You will then regret getting so petty about kids balls honestly

As PP has said, your DC will kick balls over at some point. Treat other children how you'd like your children to be treated.

Our garden backs onto the houses in the road around the corner from ours (unusual shaped garden) which means it isn't 100% clear which garden the balls come from unless I've been out there and heard kids in a particular garden. Many balls come over - and we can't see all of our garden from the house so don't always notice.

No one ever comes to get them, probably because it's hard for them to work out which house we are. I either lob them into the most likely garden or leave them out the front, from where they disappear. I don't want balls hanging round our garden as our kids are grown up now.

Well I can see why the neighbours don't speak with you

It went on for about 5 years in our case. They frequently damaged plants in my kitchen garden.

Yeah, no. We went to the park when the balls were the adult ones that do damage. I don't mind the lightweight toddler footballs.

Just throw the balls back and get on with it. You sound ridiculous.

Depends how bad things have been previously.
My neighbour is so awful I would give them a slow puncture in case she asked for them back or just throw them away.
But that is after extreme behaviour from her.

I threw them back daily, but at 7am the next morning or they'd just come flying back same day. I couldn't sit outside in the garden when they were playing, they weren't children's balls, they were hard full sized footballs and I've been hit more than once.

Same, my 6 year old dd potters & plays in the garden with the dog, her toys etc. Basketballs & footballs are for the park.

That's exactly my point. They are hard umbro balls, proper footballs that could do damage to my 6 year old, toddler or little Jack Russell. Not to mind plants & planters.

Just throw them back, unless they are breaking stuff.

If they literally hit you and are heavy balls I would be screaming blue murder and calling the police.

Ours were abusive to us, spread rumours & threatened to physically assault my husband. The dc have no regards for us & often throw crisp wrappers, plastic bottles etc over the wall..