Having seconds before finishing rest

[theprettywreckless]

Which opinion would you think would be unreasonable?

A: child wants more chicken but hasn’t finished their veg. They have seconds of chicken and don’t end up finishing their veg.

B: Child shouldn’t get more chicken until they have finished their veg. Doesn’t finish all of their veg so doesn’t get more chicken.

Poor kid…! The OP even said it was particularly delicious today and the child normally eats very well so what’s the harm with a bit more chicken if they’re enjoying it!? This whole control over eating is definitely seen as old fashioned now.

Years ago, before I had kids, I'd have said B. Experience has taught me A is the way😅

Generally, I'd say b as you get seconds if you've finished your plate and are still hungry but yesterday, ds asked for more bolognese for his spaghetti as he'd eaten most of it and I let him have some more.

They did get some more chicken after eating some veg by the way. They weren’t made to completely finish it the vegetables. I just didn’t want them to only eat chicken without eating their veg without any reason. Broccoli was one of the veg, any other day they’d be asking for seconds of broccoli.

I answered the original question! I hadn't seen the drip feed of how delicious the chicken was.

I have served my time dealing with food issues!!!
I have a 16 year old with additional needs, I've gone from having an underweight 3 year old who only ate a few things to one who is now eating an amazing diet.

Please answer the questions asking the age of the child as I think that is a relevant detail re. understanding.

The fact that you even posted the AIBU means you doubted your decision on one level. Your child is eating nutritious food and you ruin the meal by enforcing vegetables. Seems overkill reaction for one meal. I'd have been delighted that a child was enjoying my chicken dish so much.

If there’s a danger of veg being left, then I’d insist it was eaten first.

C. Have the chicken but you have to eat the veg.
Let the child serve themselves from turbines in the middle - have to try everything but only take the amount they will eat.

It’s bloody chicken, not cake… of course they should be able to have more chicken if they want it.

If they are hungry they should finish what they already have to avoid food waste, and then if they are still hungry they can have seconds of anything that's available. It's not about good food/bad food

I'd give them an amount they'd finish at least 90% of the time. You don't have to finish but if you don't finish you clearly aren't hungry for more. I'm talking about food they are known to like not foods to try. If it's a food to try and they've tried some then seconds are fine.

Same for myself, I'd only leave food if I accidentally overserved, burnt it and it's not nice, or it's something new I've found I really don't like. I wouldn't go for seconds of something leaving perfectly good food on the plate.

If they don't finish their food they're full, so it's time for shower. I try to avoid discussion on it and they can make their own choices.

I never knew of seconds as a child. I'm 37 now and I've still never done it

I think some parents serve too much first round, if the child is not finishing most of the time. Family member does this, serves double what the child eats then is there saying 'just three more' of this, or half of that. I give the same child a child sized portion and the child finishes everything, I then offer more of the parts the child would like.

Seems many parents are not struggling with the increasing cost of food, food on plates is eaten in our house, food left in the kitchen is kept as leftovers.

We don't usually do it now my child is a teen. Batch cooking means the food is divided up and if we are still hungry we get fruit or yoghurt or toast. If it's something with leftovers rather than enough for another full dinner, then seconds are available.

I'd encourage them to eat a bit of veg but wouldn't enforce it. I believe their bodies know what they need (if not confused by too much processed crap) and they will eat loads of protein at some meals and other meals only want veg. I offer pudding if I want to, it isn't based on eating their other food.

That's fair enough if they served themselves or asked for that food. If they were served more than they wanted they shouldn't have to eat it. Sometimes my partner gives me a huge pile of pasta and I don't eat it all but have seconds of veg. If I serve myself I wouldn't waste it.

I'd do the 'just eat another (x amount) of (named veg that I know they're not averse to) then you can have some more chicken' thing.

I see someone mentioned plating up.

If an adult decided on the child's portion and selection, then I would never make them finish it, or refuse seconds of one thing before they finish another.
My kids always had some agency over how much of what was put on their plate, though I always aimed for them to try everything. So if one wanted more carrots and less cauliflower, or their full share of pie but only a tiny bit of potato, that was fine. Then they got to serve themselves with the amounts they wanted as they got older.

Unless there are major food issues there is a middle ground:

C - eat a small amount of each veg before extra chicken.

So if there are 3 pieces of carrot, they eat 1, etc.

My children are always eating their carrot and cucumber sticks even as teenagers. Not so good with veg that comes with their roast dinners. I strategically place cucumber and carrot sticks everywhere. I never insisted on my children eating veg. What is forced won't be enjoyed.

7yo. Their 5yo sibling just ate everything on their plate before seconds

Either “rule” can be reasonable in a house with young kids. There’s more than one healthy approach to food.