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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having seconds before finishing rest

86 replies

theprettywreckless · 29/02/2024 18:08

Which opinion would you think would be unreasonable?

A: child wants more chicken but hasn’t finished their veg. They have seconds of chicken and don’t end up finishing their veg.

B: Child shouldn’t get more chicken until they have finished their veg. Doesn’t finish all of their veg so doesn’t get more chicken.

OP posts:
Ilovelurchers · 29/02/2024 18:27

I think having a fixed set of rules for a normal dinner is very likely to create young people who have issues around food. The fact that you think so much about this you are posting on a website about it is alarming I think.

Stop being so controlling. Children are people too. Forcing them to eat things they don't like or go hungry is a form of physical abuse in my opinion.

Willnoonethinkofthebirds · 29/02/2024 18:27

How old is the child? Do they have any general issues around food?
Personally, as long as they have eaten some of the veg and there is nothing there they actively dislike, have the chicken. Also assuming that there are no issues with anyone else going hungry or the MN chicken not lasting all month if they do!

pickledandpuzzled · 29/02/2024 18:28

We put a very small portion of everything on the plate. When it was eaten they could have more of whatever.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 29/02/2024 18:28

We had this as an issue. So now, we allow the dcs to serve themselves, there has to be some veg on the plate, but they decide the quantities and which ones, then they need to eat all the food on their plate before they take more, and if they are full that’s fine. They have to have at least one serving of veg each meal, I usually aim to serve at least 3 options. Usually they have 2 each. (Rarely the same two).

we also have done plating up in the kitchen so the seconds aren’t out on the main table to be shown as an option.

Original poster
theprettywreckless · 29/02/2024 18:57

Thanks for opinions. Child only wanted to eat the chicken because it was an especially nice seasoned chicken today. They usually love their veg but only wanted to eat the chicken and then wanted more without touching the vegetables (which was their 2 favourite veg).

Others have mentioned not forcing kids to finish, which I agree with. I’d never force a child to eat everything if they are full half way through. But you can’t still be hungry if there’s food on your plate to eat.

No SEN or safe foods involved in this scenario

OP posts:
ColleenDonaghy · 29/02/2024 19:24

The the child usually loves their veg, then presumably they have a healthy diet, in which case I wouldn't worry about one meal.

Mothership4two · 29/02/2024 19:32

I would have encouraged them to eat a bit of the veg first especially as it's one of their favourites, but never insisted they finished everything. I would have then given some chicken. My rule was you have to try a bit of everything but you don't have to eat it all - obviously if there was something they hated I wouldn't serve it again to them. It worked well, especially with the fussy one, and had no major problems. Fussy one is big and varied eater now but still has his quirks!

MumMumMumMumMumMumMum · 29/02/2024 19:34

A. Generally speaking I take the view that life's too short to be worrying about crap like what food must be eaten to qualify you for eating another food type. It's not like you're talking about ice cream being eaten before eating any decent food nutritious food

coxesorangepippin · 29/02/2024 19:40

B

ohpumpkinseeds · 29/02/2024 19:41

I'd be delighted mine was eating some protein and offer her thirds as well to be honest.

circlesand · 29/02/2024 19:45

ColleenDonaghy · 29/02/2024 19:24

The the child usually loves their veg, then presumably they have a healthy diet, in which case I wouldn't worry about one meal.

This.

Why make a fuss over one meal?

Just let them have it.

Insisting that children eat vegetables only encourages them to dislike vegetables.

Lollypop701 · 29/02/2024 19:54

How did you cook the chicken… misses point of thread completely

SgtJuneAckland · 29/02/2024 19:57

I wouldn't say no more chicken unless you eat all veg, I probably would say, eat some of the rest of your dinner before having more chicken. If they generally eat well it's not a sensory issue, it's not ideal to just eat a plate of chicken for dinner

JacobElordisBathWater · 29/02/2024 20:00

I always wonder if the parents who force rigorous eating rules on their children are as strict with their own plates?

As an adult, if I’d like more chicken I have more chicken. I don’t force down other items first.

Saymyname28 · 29/02/2024 20:03

B is unreasonable.
We've just had a roast, I didn't care what proportions anyone dished themself so long as there's enough for everyone. I took an extra yorkshire while leaving some mash.

DS usually only eats one component of a mea, some days he'll eat four seconds of carrots, another time he'll eat all the mash, he can eat what his body says he needs. He's 2.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 29/02/2024 20:05

Is the chicken the only safe food for the child? If so, I would look to include others in future alongside the chicken for more variety, but give it to them now

Presumably not, since the OP said the child hadn't finished their vegetables, not that they wouldn't eat any vegetables. A bit odd to jump to the conclusion that the child has safe foods and unsafe foods.

Nohousemove · 29/02/2024 20:06

I would normally say “I’ve just started eating but will get up and get you some more chicken in a minute. Why don’t you try a some vegetables while your waiting.”

Peppapog263 · 29/02/2024 20:07

You say they normally love their veg so this sounds like a one off for you. Give the poor child more chicken - it’s hardly a bag of sweets they’re after!

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/02/2024 20:10

I’d give him more chicken, especially if it was particularly nice - and I’d take some myself too. Child usually eats veggies and has a balanced diet so I’d not worry about one meal.

Goldbar · 29/02/2024 20:10

My child won't eat most protein sources. So in our case, if my child was actually eating chicken and wanted more, I'd be so delighted that I'd pile mine, DH's and any spare on their plate and the rest of us would have to make do with the vegetables 😂.

Qwertyfudge · 29/02/2024 20:17

we do B, otherwise at least one dc would never eat veg. There aren’t any arguments about it, I don’t serve veg they hate

Catza · 29/02/2024 20:18

I am reading this as I look at my leftover salad, having already finished my pork. I am now wondering whether to allow myself pudding or force myself to finish the salad and send myself to bed without wifi...
Is it really worth it to have a fight over food? My mum used to be from the "you are not getting up from the table until you finish your meal" variety. Until I was about 4 or 5 and I threw up immediately after eating. Since then, nobody ever forced me to eat anything and I grew up with a very healthy relationship with food and varied diet.

Toblerbone · 29/02/2024 20:19

I'd give them more chicken. I'm relaxed around food and my three DC are great eaters.

Alwaystired2023 · 29/02/2024 20:23

I'm team A, who cares (within the realms of no ND other food issues) let them eat endless chicken their bodies know what they need. Some days I need protein some days I need fruit, it's the bigger picture that matters over the week etc not one meal for me

BudgetFoodie · 29/02/2024 20:24

If the child had been given an appropriate serving of chicken I wouldn't allow seconds.