Approaching 40… looking back what advice would you give?

[Cloud44]

Soon to be 40, and feeling like I want to make some changes to try and be my healthiest self. I’m really not looking forward to being péri menopausal / going through the menopause. Is it as bad as you hear?! If you are past your 40s what advice would you give looking back?

It's never too late to be taking care of your financial independence/pensions as a woman.

I see so many women every day on here absolutely fcked by the amount they financially depend on their partners and husbands.

Get a pension.
Don't get fat.
Have a well woman check - do not put your head in the sand with health issues. Not everything is down to the menopause and/or aging.

Thank you everyone!

Agreed. My mum has been morbidly obese since her 40s and can't walk at all now. I'm 41 and half the size she was and refuse to go down the same path

I've loved my 40s so far. And I'm not super fit or healthy etc. I try, I do ok some of the home, less well at other times. But what I have loved about being in my 40s is a sense of self. I give no s*s about impressing people now, I have steady friends and family who I love and who love me. I enjoy being by myself. I'm walking the south west coastal path a little at a time on my own, and I'm loving it. I don't worry about comments from people or 'looks' like am I wearing the right thing for this venue etc. I'm just me, and it's been liberating and I love it. I've also had a really good boost to my career which I think has come from me being confident and composed about myself and what I bring to the table.

So not really advice there, but certainly don't look at turning 40 as a sort of 'over the hill' milestone. It can be fabulous.

Thats great to hear @Deliaskis , I’m feeling a bit doom and gloom about it at the moment!

This is the age where things start going wrong unless you’re really lucky, so get your paperwork organised, get a will written, make sure you keep up with your friends and enjoy your life as much as you can.

This is ominous. I'm 38 and feel really young still. I don't anticipate things going dramatically wrong in 18 months time... or maybe I'm in for a shock...

Appreciate how young you still are. Looking back I felt aged at 40. Now in my fifties I realise I was still a baby!

My other advice would be to invest time in friends, it’s so easily to let good friendships slide when we are busy. Before you know it the DC are more independent and you have time for friends and you suddenly where have they all gone.

Think/act about finances, pensions, a will etc
Inform yourself about/prepare yourself for the menopause
Look after your health - Mediterranean diet and daily exercise, especially weights
Cut down on UPF, alcohol, sugar and refined carbs
Be active
Be interested
Be mindful

Be really aware of how accelerated time seems to pass as you age and absolutely savour each moment you spend with people you love.

Say ‘yes’ to the dreams, fun times, meaningful things and don’t get hung up on trying to be like others, finish the to do list,what you look like.

Sixties are fab for us - freedom and a chance to develop the things we are interested in without having to put others’ needs first all the time so don’t dread it (Iknow we are fortunate and it’s not everyone’s experience) Live each moment to the max and don’t let worry and self doubt undermine your peace. Each day is precious when it suddenly isn’t taken for granted that life will go on just the same. Things can change in an instant so make the most of every single day.

And exercise🤣

Research and get some perimenopause vitamin supplements,.massively helped me last 2 years. Skin care definitely, I have started now and skin is back where it was 5 years ago.(am 44)...I aged very quickly about a year ago! Exercise more not less as you get older...heard that recently (the doctor twin podcast) and it is so so true. Friends, yes I am noticing that now and making an effort not to let that slide as think it gets easier to as you get older. Do everything you can to manage your stress levels, it will hugely help perimenopause and will increase your self confidence. Go for it OP, generations of women have trodden this path before you, create the experience you want to have . Good luck !

Reading with interest. 38 this year and working on losing a lot of weight this year.

If I could look back and speak to 20 year old me, I'd say stop fucking eating! 🤣

In my 30s I swam and ran a lot and was quite fit. I was very competive too and when a time went wrong I threw my toys out of the pram and stopped running . Guess who is now 56 and can't run a mile! I was stupid.

So learn from me. Enjoy exercise but don't beat yourself up about it and keep going building it into your life rather than letting it take over your life.

Enjoy this time.of life. In your mid/late 50s things aren't so easy and often you start to lose the odd friend and relatives. Whilst that can happen at any age it seems to be becoming more regular now. So please enjoy your 40s as much as you can.

I’m 40 next year and last year I decided to get back down into the middle of my health weight bracket as I was just about over weight and kept hearing how it was harder to loose weight after 40. So I did that. But not much else.

I do exercise regularly and I’ve tried to build it into my routine. The menopause feels a long way off yet, but my mum was about 50 before she started peri and mid 50s when her periods actually stopped so I figure I have time to worry about that. I’m a bit scared about turning 40, it’s almost like the next stage when you should be a proper adult and just not sure I’m ready for that step 😂.

Don't carry on thinking you can eat what you want and it won't matter. It will. Stick to your fitness routines. Dont let them lapse. And in my case, enjoy being single a bit longer!

I'm 54 and very happy with myself. I can honestly say I've never felt better. I'm fit as a fiddle, no health issues, all my hormonal aches, pains, headaches and mood swings are in the past, and I look pretty good too. I haven't 'lost my looks'. I look older obviously but my skins good, my hair thick and shiny and I still have the same figure I had at 20. Don't get me wrong, I have to take care of this vintage body in a way I didn't need to my younger one. I'm a squeaky clean alcohol free vegan. I walk in the fresh air whether I want to or not, do yoga everyday and try and get 8 hours sleep, and I have HRT, but its a small price to pay to feel better than I did 20 years ago. I realise I'm probably luckier than many, but my experience of aging has been nothing but positive. So if I could go back and advise myself I'd say 'Don't worry, there's nothing to fear and everything to look forward to'.

Yup on the health check . It picked up familial high cholesterol so I’d say worth doing tbh.

I’m 42.

I don’t know if it’s in my head but the last year or so I’ve noticed more body aches…..

Friends rave about magnesium. Trying to get in the habit. also trying to do Pilates/yoga regularly- love it when I manage it……. The class is full of retired people and they are so flexible etc it’s amazing…. Which I think speaks volumes about its benefits.

also read up about peri menopause etc but don’t consume yourself with it- I feel like I’m surrounded by friends who think they are peri/ menopausal, my phone feeds me info etc.

Hope you enjoy it x x x

I’m about to turn 50 but things I did in my 40’s

maintained a healthy weight
took up a new exercise regime - started lifting weights and challenging myself
moved to a lower stress role (same job but different location)
took part in a couple of charity fundraising events
got a dog!

My advice would be is regular exercise and a healthy diet, less alcohol (alcohol definitely makes my menopausal symptoms worse) but don’t deprive yourself. Everything in moderation is a good piece of advice I received.

HRT can be a game changer
care less about what people think (I’m a terrible overthinker and it’s really affected how I feel)
Spend time with people that make you happy. Ditch the ones that drain you.
make a will and sort your pension

A wise friend of mine has been battling breast cancer and when we had a conversation recently about ageing she very wisely said that getting older is a privilege that not everyone gets - made me think a lot

Don't take him back. He will cheat again.

I wasn’t worried about turning 40 at all as I don’t think it’s in any way old, I’m 48 now and have to say that i am a bit worried about turning 50 as to me I will then be officially old

They most likely won’t. I’m 44 and definitely look older than when I was 38, but don’t feel particularly different.

So far my 40s has been more about evaluating career goals and finances than anything else.

Cancer and other serious conditions become more likely the more we age, yes, but I find the idea that turning 40 is a catalyst for HRT research and wills rather dramatic. A will is a good idea at any age and I’ll deal with HRT as and when. I find the constant talk about menopause isn’t very helpful for me.

Well im not 40 yet im 37 my children have all moved out.
I now tell myself its a new chapter for me.
Im single live alone best thing i find to do is some 15/20 min meditation everyday and also read a book.
Take care of my bone health with yoga.
And most of all love yourself and enjoy what makes you happy.
Staying positive.

Exercise
Watch the weight
SPF

Take stock of your career. This is a really good time to get any training in to give it a boost. Update the CV.

Get a financial overhaul - get pensions sorted out and plan for next 20 years.

Don't be ominous! 40 is young! It's awesome.
I've taken up a new physical hobby which I absolutely love and would never have been brave enough to try when I was younger.
I am in a great place in my career and generally having a lot of fun.
Your 40s can be absolutely amazing - no one has to spend their 40s depressed about being old (eh?) and moaning.