Divorce lawyer - is this normal?

[Opol]

I’m going through an extremely messy divorce. We’re talking hidden assets, custody battles, false accusations, non payment of school fees etc. You name it.

My lawyer is roughly £600. So far I’ve paid him roughly £10k for his time as he’s had to respond to all the legal correspondence I’ve had from Ex.

We’re going to need to bring in an accountant in at some point but that’s a headache for another day.

I just feel really harassed regarding payment chasing. He’ll do some work then immediately demand payment for that “chunk”. I appreciate that I have to pay him for his work but it’s unbearable to be constantly harangued. Over the past month he’s said I need to do x, he does it and then immediately he’s emailing me twice daily. This has happened 3/4 times. I have paid him within a few days of each bit of work thus far.

He’s fully aware of my financial situation obviously. I’m up to date with payments never really messed him around but I feel like I’m constantly being shaken down.

My parents are having to help me as ex has emptied accounts. I will obviously pay back when divorce is finalised.

Had another email this week for payment for UPCOMING work.

I’m sick with worry.

Unfortunately they have to be paid to keep afloat.

It’s horrible I know but they’re the same with everyone, don’t take it personally.

Is it a case that you don’t have the money readily available or that you prefer to pay monthly?

I would ask him to invoice you monthly and provide a statement for all work done, list of correspondence and hours worked.

No this is NOT normal in my experience.

I consulted a divorce lawyer last year (who gave me very sobering news even though everything is in my name, but that's another story). They invoiced me a couple of days later and I think I took a week to pay.

The others have been for either litigation or buying and selling. They all invoice within a couple of days but with no chasing really.

This guy sounds very unprofessional - is he good at his job? You should also compare his hourly rate with others you could use.

Is there a specific reason you chose him - was he recommended or did you just Google local divorce lawyers?

I assume when you mean chasing he is invoicing you? In many contentious matters it is usual to ask for money upfront before work is done (money on account). So if that is what he is doing then yes it is usual.

I paid in lump sums so that I was always in credit. I payed 5k straight away and he let me know when a top up was needed.

I don’t have the money. The shared account linked to my debit which I used for daily expenses is now completely empty. Ex is giving us a pitiful monthly allowance. Nowhere near enough. Arguing that mortgage and school fees are his only responsibility.

Having to rely on help from parents.

We’re just so early into the process. It’s sickening seeing thousands of pounds me forked out.

All this whilst trying to return to my profession, look after house and kids.

I’m happy enough with his work. A friend recommended him.

The constant chasing is getting to me. I may not respond to my personal emails for half a day (juggling job applications, house admin). And before I have a chance to respond there is a follow up email.

One thing I will say is that when I’m the one asking a question or requiring his input all of a sudden his email response times plummet!

Not my experience.

My solicitors which I have used for family law etc take a retainer then invoice monthly.

Can you ask for a clarification of his payment terms, and if you know you'll be needing to pay him a lot more, is there any way your parents can help you out now so you've paid in advance and don't have to worry.

I feel my lawyer’s way make it much harder for myself. My dad is currently receiving hospital treatment so having to constantly ask for a handout makes feel so guilty and such a burden.

Perhaps he is aware that this is going to be a lengthy process and you don’t have the funds? He will presumably be anxious to ensure that his risk of non payment is kept to a minimum.

That said he does sound to be chasing you quite aggressively.

£600 an hour is a lot for a family lawyer.

Check your letter of engagement. Most law firms are monthly. If he suspects you can't afford it he may ask for money on account i.e. in advance.

This. I agree with pp who said you need to check the terms of payment. But you said you’re sick of him ‘constantly haranguing’ for payment. Why is he having to do that in the first place? He is not doing any work without consulting with you first and notifying you of the price, so why aren’t you paying him when or before he does it, instead of complaining that he’s having to email you twice a day until you do. As for whether it’s ‘normal’ or not, it depends. As a profession lawyers generally have to be intelligent, can read people, and given their expenses, the bills can run up very quickly. I’m sorry you’re in such a shit place financially, but you say you can’t afford him and your parents are having to pay, and he must know your financial situation as that’s what the case is about. He must be getting a vibe from you that you really need to keep on top of the bills or he’s just not going to get paid. Or you’ll end up slipping and end up with one bill on top of another which won’t be nice you you or your parents. I think it’s safe to assume he’s not enjoying having to send multiple emails a day for days on end to get a payment out of you. When I’ve recently had to pay a lawyer over a housing/fraud/inheritance issue, I generally paid upfront or immediately upon asking.

He knows you have no money therefore he doesn't want to be caught out with non payment. You say you've "never really messed him around" over payment. The word really feels telling, he can't run the risk.

This really. Your update reinforces the fact that you’re struggling to make payments. I’m sorry that you dad is in hospital, but in the nicest way possible, when it comes to paying someone’s wages, that’s a you problem, not a them problem. I think you’ve become (understandably) incredibly stressed over the situation, but you’re taking it out on the wrong person. If this was a building contractor, or a childcare provider, or literally anyone else providing a service, you’d be told you are being very unreasonable to make them chase you for days on end for payment.

Lawyer is fully aware I am sitting on 50% of a high value asset plus my share of the savings. But that money is going to take a while to get into my hands.

My divorce lawyer charges a fixed fee or hourly rate. Both to be paid upfront or on the day the work is completed. I may get a day or twos grace within good reason. There are options to pay by installments for large bills, but this would be creating a consumer credit agreement between me and the law firm. It doesn’t sound like youre in the financial position to be using a lawyer on credit. I know you say otherwise, but reading your posts it very much does sound like you’re messing him around quite a lot. You need to pay him as he does the work like he’s clearly expecting you to.

I said really because once I did say I will pay you by end of day but it ended up being the next day.

Payment has always been made within a day or two of invoice being received.

I’m not messing him around. I’ve made roughly 7 payments so far. To have paid within a day or two is a pretty good track record imo.

So is there a contract and agreement in place, where the lawyer is going to be paid at the conclusion of the case when the assets are sold and when the funds are eventually going to be dispersed? Otherwise consistently paying him late is not an excuse. You don’t not pay someone that you’ve hired for a service the money that has been agreed, and then tell them ‘oh well when the case has been dragged out for months/years, a settlement has been agreed, and we’ve sold the house, I’ll pay you then, so stop complaining’?

You’re changing your story though. You said he’s emailing you twice a day until you pay and you always pay within a FEW days, apart from when you messed him around a bit once. But you don’t have the money and don’t like asking your father for it while he’s in hospital. Now that’s gone to I pay him straight away on the very same day, and the ‘messed him around’ bit was once when I paid him the next day instead. If that was true there’d be no issue for either of you and you wouldn’t be on here complaining that he’s chasing up payments that you’re apparently making on time?

Not my experience at all. I got a recommendation from here and my solicitor stopped ex-husband from messing around. Not sure how but divorce and financial settlement were quick and not expensive.

My concern is that follow up emails from your solicitor if you don't reply immediately will surely be increasing your bill?

Why don't you just talk to him, explain how it makes you feel and agree an alternative approach, eg paying in advance or committing to sending within 48 hours of the invoice before a chase?

That’s not what you said before. You said you normally pay within a few days but you’re sick of him constantly chasing up his money. Now you’re saying you pay him straight away the same day, which isn’t true as he wouldn’t be chasing it up. I know my local solicitors charge for every email, letter or reminder for payment, you’re lucky he’s not adding all kinds of fees for this

Okay here is a typical scenario. On Monday he will tell me he needs to respond to a letter. He does so. On the same day he will then email saying letter has been sent, please pay.

On Monday, I will say thank you. I will now arrange payment with my parents.

On Tuesday morning (before 7am many times) , I will get a chaser email. I may not see this as I am busy with kids, looking for jobs. Tuesday evening I will sit down to look at personal emails. Most of the time I will be able to pay if not I will email and say waiting on parents.

99% of the time I have paid before Wednesday comes around. Once I did not. Paid Wednesday afternoon.

These are the normal timeframes.