About my male co-worker?

[newnameT]

I'm 29, recently separated from DH (just one close female colleague knows about this) and have a DS.

A male colleague (looks to be late 30's/early 40's) makes things a bit awkward. For instance today, as he was walking towards me, he was blatantly checking me out, looking me up and down and then said I look nice and he liked my dress. He went on to ask when I'll be going to the staff room this week and what my weekend plans are. He also said I am great at my job and colleagues have said they love working with me. And concluded by expressing how happy he was to see me.

He said all of the above in a space of 5 minutes - I was waiting in the hallway to go into a meeting room. We don't see each other often and this is probably the 4th time we speak (more like a brief chit chat/small talk).

He also never breaks eye contact and looks mesmerised in a way that he's analysing everything I say/do or he's having back thoughts.

Am I over thinking this? I ask because prior to this job, I was working from home for a couple of years so don't know what's considered as standard workplace behaviour.

He likes you. Trying to let you know he is interested without actually asking.

It sounds like he is trying (possibly too hard) to be nice and give you some positive feedback

Clumsy pick-up attempt. Politely ignore.

That's a lot of things to say in such a short moment. I would find it annoying and it would make me try to avoid this person.

If anyone is looking you up and down obviously, then they are over stepping the mark. I find when women do this it is often with bitchy intent, and with men it is a sexual/sleazy intent.

I often admire to myself what a woman is wearing, or in my younger days when I found a man especially good looking, but wouldn't dream of making it obvious.

He either really likes you.

Or, close colleague has blabbed and he's looking for an easy lay because you're vulnerable.

I'm at a point where I just want to avoid him.

Reasonable office behaviour is certainly not what this man is doing. You are NOT overthinking. What he is doing is wrong,not your reaction to it. Imo you should avoid if possible. If not possible, he needs to know he is out of line. Either from yourself if you are brave enough (with a witness) or have a word with your line manager.

I'd probably let it go as a one off but if he continues to do it I'd say "Dave, it makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my appearance. Please can we keep the chat business oriented."

Weekend plans? "It'll be busy one, but I'd rather not discuss my personal life".

The trick is to change the subject quickly after the interaction, so maybe have something generic prepared that you could steer the conversation to.

Thanks everyone. I thought it was a bit weird.

I'll just avoid him so things don't escalate.

oh stop the faux naivety

It’s quite childish

What's childish about questioning what someone's behaviour means?

For context:
-My husband was my first relationship. I've not dated anyone before him or was in the dating scene to begin with. So next to no clue on general male behaviour.
-I have worked from home for a number of years.
-At my last office based job, we had one male colleague.
-I don't have any male friends.
-Due to my lack of experience with men, I can't tell what certain behaviours mean. However, as outlined above, I find my male co-worker's behaviour awkward and a bit weird.

I've posted on here for genuine help.

Oh behave

’a man was checking me out and mesmerized by me, is this normal office behaviour?’

pull the other one

It may be a wrong use of vocabulary. English is my third language. I may need to use a dictionary next time I post. But, thanks for your input.

Whilst we are here, what does 'pull the other one' mean please?

Ew, this put my defenses right up. If I was not interested:

"look nice and he liked my dress"
I got it at Macy's, I'm sure they will have one in your size.

"when I'll be going to the staff room this week and what my weekend plans are"
None of these are your business, pal

"He also said I am great at my job and colleagues have said they love working with me"
Of course, because I'm a kick-ass bitch whose smart and knows when someone's comments are becoming uncomfortable and unwelcome.

"expressing how happy he was to see me"
Weird..... it isn't reciprocated

"never breaks eye contact and looks mesmerised in a way that he's analysing everything I say/do"
Is your eyesight going? Because that is the only reason I can logically conclude from all this staring

That's exactly what I would have said. However, if it IS reciprocated and you like the attention, please disregard.

He either fancies you or thinks he's gods gift.

I'd be polite/professional and if he does anything directly like ask you out shut it down. If he does anything inappropriate report to hr.

Be polite and professional and be the adult that you are.

You can make an adult decision about any future coffee dates. You can decline or say that you are not interested or you can say yes and stay friends, try a romance or call it quits after two coffee calls.

If the person makes unwanted advances, repeatedly disregarding your requests, you can report.

So he could be doing what you say, he could be a pyscho stalker, you could be making up some story in your head that turns being nice into 'oh he wants me'

He is attracted to you.

Bahahahaha come on!!

He is flirting and you're hilarious 😂

To answer your op, it's unprofessional behaviour and in your position I wouldn't entertain a new relationship so soon and at work.

If you pull hard enough it might fall off

Just because someone’s written English is better than the average Brit it doesn’t mean they’re lying.

Pull the other one is referring to pulling someone’s leg. Telling someone to pull the other leg means they don’t believe you, they’re not that naive.

Also an expression meaning the same thing, ie pull harder. The falling off (oops sorry about all the edits) can be implied.

This