Young couple cannot afford a family on 100k per year!

[dottiedodah]

All subjective of course.Young couple feel they are unable to afford a family ,With lots of expenses .YABU they should just save and keep going .YANBU if they want children then they would have to cut back .Apologies DM link!

How can we possibly know with so little information?

Massively depends on what their outgoings are like. I've brought DS up on less than half of that as a lone parent but have low outgoings.

You need to say where they live, because the mortgage/ reny can vary so much and it is so big in some parts of UK!

What are their expenses? Where do they live? No one can afford things if their expenses are too high, so you've not given us anything to go off.

It depends. We are on £100k with three kids and high housing costs and it is a stretch. We live in an area where a lot of people have inherited property to live in and so I imagine they would find it easier to live on £100K.

Helps to actually include the link in the OP….

They are in East Sussex in a cottage that they have been renovating . So large expenses there .Also rightly worried about Nursery fees .They are only early 30s ,so time still .Just think there are probably lots similar ,but surely you make a choice ?

It was the DM, complete with the usual “victim faces”. 🙄

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13123857/afford-baby-money-start-family-bills-fees-children.html

When people make statements like this I always think that they haven’t got the memo that when you have a dc you generally have to make cutbacks or sacrifice things no matter your income.

I suspect their choice of housing & lifestyle is part of their problem.

As a single mum, I have no issue caring for & raising my ds. providing us both with a home and paying ongoing expenses, but I recognised early on that I would have a much better life if I left London.

There is always a way. If I can manage it on my own, two people earning considerably more than me can too.

Sounds like they can’t afford the lifestyle they would like for a family, not they can’t afford a family full stop. Which is fine but at least own your decision (disclaimer, I’ve not read the article)

Surely they mean that they dont have sufficient income to have children AND live in the manner to which they are accustomed (or would like to become accustomed)?

They need to make choices...sure we'd all love to live in a nice cottage in East Sussex, but if they REALLY want kids they need to prioritise.

We moved North when we had kids so that I could give up work.

They don't want to compromise.

Victim faces? They look smug to me 😂 unless that's what you meant?!

Yeah it's definitely a choice. Do they want the nice hug expensive house with loads of outgoings, do they want a lesser house with more free cash, and so on. We are £100k family, 2 kids, no issues. But we don't live in a huuuge house in a massively expensive area, we have what is big enough for us without being over the top. We manage great, savings, nice lifestyle. Choices.

Or they only want children if they dont have to make any sacrifices whatsoever?
This was formerly the default position of the man, but seems women are now adopting it too.
Who can blame them but the upshot is, no-one is willing to take a hit and so no children will arrive!

Cut back then. Kids obviously aren't that important if you aren't prepared to change your spending and lifestyle.

Our mortgage is £1500+ a month full time childcare here is £425 a week for one child, so close to £1800 a month, that's without utilities, insurances, cars to run, we live a commutable distance from London (we both work locally but lots don't) train season ticket is £580 a month per person and if you work locally the wages are lower so lots go into London. Plus every day expenses, food, clothing etc. You would think you should be very comfortable on 100k but it really depends where you live.
We decided to only have one DC and were able to condense work hours so we didn't have to pay for full time childcare, we also both moved jobs to work more locally to reduce costs and went down to one car. I didn't expect to have to do things like that on our income. I grew up in real poverty and the thought of 100k a year would've felt like a lottery win. I am not saying at all that we aren't comfortable, we pay our bills without issue, if something happens unexpectedly I don't feel that anxiety of how are we going to fix the car/repair the roof etc, but it's not a cake walk, we need new windows we can't afford them, we're finally having the eighties kitchen replaced this year after living here for 7 years.

3 bed semi in Essex, not a cottage in Sussex!

I agree. Loads and loads of people have children on far smaller household incomes.

Absolutely fine for them to say it feels like too much of a cut back in other areas, but it's silly to say it's not possible.

Well quite. What a pair of idiots.

How are they a young couple at 38? I mean, certainly not "old" in the grand scheme of things at all, of course, but wouldn't it be probably on the older side when considering starting a family?

In fairness, if they can't support a baby on £100k a year, it is probably for the best in evolutionary terms if they don't reproduce.

She’d be classed as a “geriatric mother” at my local hospital at 38

If they really wanted children they'd make it work.