Young couple cannot afford a family on 100k per year!

[dottiedodah]

All subjective of course.Young couple feel they are unable to afford a family ,With lots of expenses .YABU they should just save and keep going .YANBU if they want children then they would have to cut back .Apologies DM link!

What a stupid article 😅

They clearly don’t want to prioritise their income to have DC and apart from a few fantasy moments (which I’m sure don’t involve getting poo on your socks - like the thread I just came off) don’t seem to have given it much thought.

They both have above average income and far more financial leeway and in a privileged position and good age to start a family if they had a real inclination to.

I always remember my friend saying her and her dh wouldn’t have kids because she couldn’t continue getting her hair done every 5 weeks, get nails, brows and tan done and go on her two holidays a year. They got pregnant by accident and now she’s got three kids and is in the ‘haven’t been to a beautician’/hairdressers or on holiday since I can remember’ camp, but loving life! She’s as beautiful (in every way) as ever!

Do we really think that people should leave East Sussex if they really want children?
She's over 30 so her fertility is already on the downturn. If their mortgage is based on joint salaries this isn't a matter of lifestyle, it's going to be a complete change of focus away from refurb costs, savings and pensions towards living a 'spend what you earn' mentality which is normal for so many but perceived to be inherently risky and something that we are all trying to avoid if we can.

Cheaper than a condom

no - we don’t struggle at all.

no - we don’t struggle at all.

So how do you afford it?

we live within our means - don’t take out finance, don’t jet off for fancy holidays or go for expensive date nights etc.

Not me looking at this having £50 left per month after paying bills and buying basic ass food…

Single mother of 1, working 40-50hrs per week in a professional role.

Am I managing? Barely. 100k a year is nearly quadruple my income. Nevertheless, I have a higher education and I work my arse off. I’m fortunate that I have the opportunity to increase my income over time.

Do I have sympathy for them or want to hear about heir ‘struggles’? No.

I think people need to pick their moments better. The cost of living crisis is causing everyone to tighten their belts, but some people’s belts are on the last notch and are about to snap.

You have choices when you are on that kind of household income. Meanwhile some of us get a stomach ache when we realise our children need a new pair of shoes.

While they look like idiots for going to the DM, I do get it and it is worth discussing. Yes you need to cut back but the current situation has nothing to do with prior generarations and their version of "cutting back".

My in laws had my DH at the age of 23. My FIL was an electrician and MIL a nurse and they had bought a 3 bedroom house already, with a small mortgage!! at 23! With no family help. The lack of secure housing will put a lot of people off, it's a disgrace that housing is so expensive and there is no option for secure tenancies either.

For what it's worth, I make a 6 figure salary. Once childcare for 2 kids is paid, some bills, and the mortgage, I'd have nothing left. Nothing for clothes etc. I'm pregnant now so will figure it out but I'm actually luckier than most and I still want to cry at the cost of childcare + mortgage (London).

Can you outline your outgoings?

A £30k salary after tax wouldn’t pay my nursery bill for one, so a lot of us have somewhat higher outgoings (!).

They don’t look young though (to start a family), quite the opposite.

I missed the £70k after tax part.

In that case they'd have £890pcm spending money after all bills. That's manageable until the kid gets their 15/30 free hours.

The cost of the botox and filler would have covered a few months' worth of nappies. But that's why the Mail has run the story - to get the clickbait comments, not because it's realistic.

What do you pay for rent/mortgage, food and bills? Whereabouts in the country are you?

£100k per couple goes nowhere unless you are up north. Anything south of the Midlands is expensive - houses, childcare, cost of living.

most of us don’t have the luxury of waiting to have a baby (biological clock and all that) so we wait as long as possible to earn enough, have financial security, have a house etc. A lot of us also don’t have the luxury of having family who can provide childcare, however much we would love it (through no fault of our own). But HOW DARE WE have created a career that provides before we procreate! Work hard, study, move location and then dare to have a child (or more). It’s our fault for succeeding and earning a reasonable salary but most don’t understand the ‘squeezed middle’. We look like we earn well, pay ridiculous tax and are entitled to
nothing from the government.

Then we get penalised for wanting to reduce hours as we have no family to pick up our children before we finish work. Breakfast clubs and after school clubs are oversubscribed, there are minimal reliable childminders so we have to pay more or we lose our jobs.

Some of us have to live within a certain radius of certain cities to do our jobs. We don’t like it and I would love to be a SAHM but we cannot afford to yet nursery fees are nearly £4K for two children.

so how about we recognise that we are all finding it hard, not living the lives we want, having the holidays we want, buying houses we want and just admit most of us are having a hard time and support each other.

Having a higher wage does not mean you are having a better time/easier life.

so how about we recognise that we are all finding it hard, not living the lives we want, having the holidays we want, buying houses we want and just admit most of us are having a hard time and support each other.

Plenty of people aren't having a hard time and "hard time" is subjective anyway. I'm intrigued by the poster who has a family of four, soon to be five (she mentioned date nights so I assume she has a partner) and claims not to struggle on a household income of £30k. That kind of budgeting goes far beyond not having expensive holidays or meals out.

They just can’t be bothered to change their lifestyles. Clearly they don’t want children enough.

They can afford a family, they just can’t afford a family and the lifestyle they want.

Ah, the old ‘you can only have a big house if you plan to fill it with kids’ nonsense. As if childless people are required to live in shoeboxes.

So they have 2K per week coming in! Some people really don't know when they've got it good and easy!!!

I mean it depends if you can afford them
If I got pregnant now I would have to terminate as no, I can't afford a child on min wage
That's the main reason why I've never had children as financially I couldn't afford childcare let alone anything else

Surely it matters so much on where they live and what types of job you're doing? DH and I are on about 90k combined and we're comfortable. We have 1 baby and I don't think we'd struggle with a 2nd or 3rd. However we're fortunate in that:

• We don't live in London. Our mortgage is ~200k. A fair chunk of money each month yes, but our house isn't/wasn't obscenely expensive
• DH works very rigid set shifts, but I have a very flexible WFH job and a great boss. Therefore we only need 2 days of nursery a week which again, is a fair bit of money (about £600 per month), but not in the region of 3-4k you see some families paying). When our DC are in school I'll be able to change my job hours to do pick ups/drop offs around DH shifts
• We live very close to our workplaces and nearby shops etc, so we don't have a 2nd car because we don't need it
• Once/if we have a 2nd baby, our first will get some free hours. So our nursery bill will still increase, but it won't quite be double the cost
• We're both homebodies and don't go out much just because we're not really that sort of couple (didn't really before kids either, just not our thing tbh)

Take away any of the above (well not so much the last point) and its easy to see why nearly 100k for someone else isn't the same as almost 100k for us

I was also very fortunate to get a lot of help with breastfeeding (Dbaby was in NICU) which has probably saved us a small fortune in formula costs to be honest. Sometimes when I look at the prices of formula at the shops I think, Jesus christ pity the families already struggling and having to deal with the insane costs of formula on top of it all

Not that much time, depending on how many they want...

If you copy and paste a Paywalled article link into archive.today you can read it without paying.

We managed in East Sussex on waaaay less than 100k in fact about a third of it when DC were born now about a half of it. We aren't several holidays a year, private school and brand new cars every two years wealthy but we are plenty comfortable (both putting 10+ per cent into pensions, both run cars, have a family holiday every year). Suggesting its impossible to raise a child on 100k in Sussex is a big fat clickbaity lie.