To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

[Namechangechangeobv]

And WTF do we do about it?

Obviously many young people are wonderfully resilient but the overall trend I’ve seen in my line of work (behavioural education) is that there are vast, and I mean VAST numbers of young adults who cannot leave the house, come into a classroom, look someone in the eye, make a phone call, speak infront of the class (if they make it in), cry when pronouns are wrong (daily occurrence), take responsibility to revise/get a job/learn to drive.

What is going to happen to these humans in the future?

It's important to get the balance right. Sometimes, we need to attend to emotional responses and see if there are underlying causes and sometimes, we need to say "you'll be fine. Now go and get on with what you're meant to be doing"
That helps kids to find their coping skills which enables them to become more resilient.

I’m amazed she went to secondary school 80 years ago and not only that but had a reliable means of communication for the school to have the option of contacting her mother.

I’ve done a second post too I think you missed it . Part of the issue is we actually control them to much .look at schools , no freedom in clothes , no freedom on hair style , no freedom to even wear a coat if they are cold , constant pushing towards grades with completely disregard to aptitude . They have no choice , therefore no responsibility that then leads to lack if self regulation. I’m in my early 40s and honestly pity the teens if today they have nil freedom or choice . Add social pressure from social media and it was always going to happen

I do remember some pupils spent a lot of time in medical when I worked in a secondary school a while back

I think it was their coping mechanism and maybe they had unmet needs.

My DH is a Police Officer. One of his colleagues can't do night shifts, because : Anxiety. Instead of allowing her to opt out of night shifts (the shift everyone hates), why didn't they just tell her, that if she can't handle night shifts, then a career in Policing wasn't going to work? Because we have to pander to this BS and bend over backwards to accommodate people, even when it doesn't make sense!

Slightly off topic, but they have also taken on people from minority groups, who are not fit for the job - for example, someone who was so obese they couldn't pass the fitness test. But they got in, because it ticked the minority box. Why?

I actually was in the Police for a while as well. About half way through the course, we were learning about murder scenes, and of course there were photo's of crime scenes - 3 people walked out - couldn't handle it. Did they not think that as a Police Officer they'd need to attend crime scenes? All that wasted time of applying, sitting entrance exams etc, just to get up and walk out when things got a bit gnarly.

Have you ever tried to get through one whole day, without seeing or hearing the term "mental health"? It's actually impossible. It's normal to feel anxious and nervous about certain things : it doesn't automatically mean that you have a mental health problem. But this is what's being rammed down our throats day in, day out. Drives me bonkers.

I've Heard it all now ! If you can't do night shifts then don't become a policeman or woman.
It's not rocket science

I’m amazed she went to secondary school 80 years ago and not only that but had a reliable means of communication for the school to have the option of contacting her mother.

I'm amazed that you're amazed. That was the 1940s, it was standard to go to secondary school and telephones had been common in most households for over a decade.

It was shameful to be seen as weak, anxious, couldn’t cope with life - you wanted to be seen as fit, capable, doing a good job, not the lazy one who came in to work late, needed time off. This was when I grew up 60s/70s.
it’s good that now there is no shame associated with illness. However there seems to be no shame in being the one that didn’t turn up for their shift, slept in due to hangover etc.
I spose the reliable hardworking ones will eventually get the better jobs, earn more.

It's on a par with people from religions that don't, supposedly, allow alcohol taking a check out job then saying they can't swipe any alcohol!

I spose the reliable hardworking ones will eventually get the better jobs, earn more.

I wouldn't count on it, not promoting people who are late because of hangovers etc would doubtless be classed as discriminatory!

Telephones were not common in houses in the 1940s. I am amazed someone thinks they were. Even in 1970 only 35% of households had a telephone. It was only in 1944 that education became compulsory between ages 5 and 15 years old. Things were very different in the 1940s just after the war.

You are joking right!

I despair.

You’ve more patience than me. I wasn’t going to bother trying to educate that poster.

The historical knowledge of even fairly recent times is very poor amongst younger adults.
Schools after the second world war, especially secondary schools, were desperate for teachers. Teaching was still very divided by sex with women teaching English and men Science. But a lot of men were killed during the second world war.
My parents who attended school in the forties and fifties said as a result of the teacher shortage they brough teachers out of retirement who were not up to it, and had teachers who had served and behaved like sergeant majors or were still partially shell shocked and mentally not up to teaching.
They said there were some great teachers as well, but the teacher shortage meant there were teachers who should not have been teaching and would not be allowed to these days.

Landline phones were not common in uk homes in the 1940s , maybe for very wealthy people , but ordinary folk had nothing. Not sure about pay phones for public use , they might have existed , but I can't imagine there were loads around.
A few businesses might have had one , but you had to go through a switchboard for many numbers.

An elderly customer recently told me that 80 years ago, when she was in secondary school

My Dad just turned 80 - he was in secondary in 1950s and was born just before second world war end.

So this woman to be in secondary 80 years ago would be at least 91 and would have been born 1930s in secondary school during 40's - a period of national disruption I'm sure we'd all agree.

If you think the pandemic was disruptive to children, think what the second world war was like. This elderly woman will probably have had her father, Uncles and other male relatives sent away to fight, and some will have died and/or been seriously injured. Rationing was in place. Some cities were regularly bombed and families spent many nights in air raid shelters. I know some schools like my fathers did not have enough teachers so school was only in the morning or the afternoon. It was a difficult time and the teachers in secondary schools will have been those not fit enough to serve, and thus often with their own physical or mental issues. Classes routinely had up to 60 pupils. So no it would not have been as kind a place for anxious children as now. How could it be?

My late dad was born in 1922 and he went to a secondary school and had to do an exam ( a bit like an 11plus) in order to stay on past age 14.
My late mum was born in 1925 and left at 14 and went to work.
I think ( but not sure ) that schools had their own rules back then , but I'm not entirely sure what the citiria was around education and in 1939 it all changed anyway ( especially with children being evacuated and so on)

Where we are from in rural Ireland the local publican had a phone and if there was an emergency (like when my granny’s father died) people would ring the pub to pass on the message.

Yes she genuinely exists, she's in her 90s, an amazing woman still with her wits very much about her.

I am not sure why people are questioning whether her household had a phone - presumably the school would have had some way to contact the family in an emergency, I didn't ask her about those details as it didn't really seem relevant.

I just thought it was an interesting perspective, I'd expected her to say young people are too mollycoddled. 🤷🏻

I was like that at school. Have always been upfront in performances on lead roles (I eventually was in a covers band’s for 7 years before I had DC).
Realised last year through DC, that I’ve lived with adhd all my life and didn’t know. At least I think it’s just adhd. It’s makes a hell of a lot of sense.
I’ve done Right To Choose for a diagnosis as the adult mental health team stoped taking referrals just before I applied through my GP and I need to have this diagnosis sooner than later. I’m 46.

I think there is value in learning to pick yourself up and power through adversity, if you can. There is also value in understanding your feelings and not putting yourself into unmanageable situations in the service of powering through. I suppose what we're not necessarily great at is knowing which is which.

From children's own point of view though, facing some discomfort, difficulty and stress and learning to manage a reasonable amount without exceeding the individual's coping ability in order to stretch it a bit seems like a good thing. No matter what your parents think and want, you can't have a happy life with most of the things people want to achieve for themselves without some disappointment, hurt and set backs.

@mimblewimble when I was young, which was in the seventies, most homes did not have a phone. If you were ill the teacher would get a fellow pupil to walk you home. There was no way to directly contact your mum.
My older relatives are about the same age as that woman. None of them thought the forties was a kind time for children. There was a major war with some children being bombed in Britain. My gran hated being evacuated.
I think you have to understand the context.
Imagine if most healthy and fit men were fighting a war abroad and cities in Britain were being bombed regularly. Adults would be stressed and anxious and would not be the best parents they could be. My great Aunts family were bombed out of their house and they moved with their three children into my fathers already overcrowded home.
Most children growing up then would rather grow up today instead.

Anyone linked to this article in today's Times yet? https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/gen-z-need-life-lessons-more-than-therapy-c6xlp5pxx Sorry - it's behind a paywall.

It's kind of the point I was trying to make. We can't just expect therapy and mental health provision to fix them. It would be like the NHS itself - a bottomless pit which needed more and more money which would never be enough, rather than tackling the root causes of ill health.

It depends though doesn’t it as to what is causing the ill health. Illness caused by online abuse, grooming, horrific intrusive bullying, EDs, self harm etc as a result of society today will often need therapy. It’s hugely prevalent and actually we should be protecting kids from all the above if we don’t want to shell out for therapy after. Then there is the fall out from the horrendous pressures in schools that is nothing like it was in the 70s or 80s. We need to examine that too…. And so it goes on. Life is very different for teens than it was for previous generations and we need to recognise that.