To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

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And WTF do we do about it?

Obviously many young people are wonderfully resilient but the overall trend I’ve seen in my line of work (behavioural education) is that there are vast, and I mean VAST numbers of young adults who cannot leave the house, come into a classroom, look someone in the eye, make a phone call, speak infront of the class (if they make it in), cry when pronouns are wrong (daily occurrence), take responsibility to revise/get a job/learn to drive.

What is going to happen to these humans in the future?

My brother has dyslexia. Told by my mother that it merely meant he had to work harder than most people to get the same results at reading/ writing etc. He's now 40 and in an area manager position earning 70 k. Doubt he would've done so well if Mum had the attitude of " oh well you can't do it" and made excuses

I agree.

It's very worrying that the OP seems to work with young people and yet is at best dismissive and at worst mocking of any trauma.

It's people like that who exacerbated my daughter's trauma throughout her education.

Did you skip the reading the post part? 😂😂😂

Yes, because throwing money at the problem will clearly fix it. Nhs funding is at highest level ever, but more people than ever are struggling with mental health, on long wait lists for ops etc. Its not a lack of money - its a lack of direction, abuse of a system by both staff and patients , poor management, lack of self responsibility. No idea what the solution is, no one will properly overhaul on 'iconic, precious, sacred' nhs as its seen as untouchable

Early 70s. During the miners strike and no coal reaching power stations there were rolling blackouts in different areas.
We stayed off school. Had no electricity some days at home. I don’t remember a squeak about special arrangements to catch up with schoolwork/ angry parents/ gov special measures We just missed some school then caught up afterwards.

Ms son is autistic and has an EHCP. We have always known he was autistic. He is not allowed to opt out of things that make him uncomfortable. I have told him he will be autistic for life and the world can not bend to meet his needs, he must be able to learn strategies to cope.

I think it’s a fine balance, both my two have ASD/ADHD with a load of trauma in the mix. I push them to move out of their comfort zone and do things they find uncomfortable but they also need to know when it’s ok to say “no”. They’re still growing, their coping strategies are still developing and will change as they mature.

Part of my role as a parent is to help them find balance, which their conditions make quite tricky because their thinking is very black and white. I’m very attuned to when something genuinely is too much, when they need some down time and when it’s beneficial to just get on with it.

Eh? They weren’t in a war. They (the majority obvs) didn’t have cancer treatment. They were at home with some parental stress and Netflix? Not trying to say it was easy - it wasn’t, I was there - but come on that’s not really the biggest example of resilience, is it? Going back to school after a year off? Of course being frightened about Covid was incredibly scary and traumatic but the act of going back to school shouldn’t actually be traumatic - if you are indeed resilient.

I learnt everything I need to know about you from your op.

Well done if you had a bit of a "road to Damascus" moment after that though.

And in 2022 Gen X were once again the age group with the highest suicide rate in the uk

So maybe not as resilience as the insouciant posts about 70s kids would make out?

Perhaps more support when you were younger would have helped your generation more when the problems showed themselves later?

Yeah, but that's because the resources weren't offered to people, isn't it? I am older and me and some of my peers sometimes talk about how many of the people we were at school with obviously needed help with their mental health. it just wasn't seen as an issue and they were left to get on with it (with disastrous consequences in some cases).

If you read it then your post makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

but the act of going back to school shouldn’t actually be traumatic - if you are indeed resilient.

I mean you have literally said what I said here...

Yes this is definitely part of the problem

It cuts both ways imo

@Jc2001 Your posts make no sense. The OP is a professional working with children, she hasn't got her opinions from tik tok.

Well said.

I agree we are more open about these things. Rightly or wrongly I learned to keep the problems to myself, cried them out and just get own with life the next day.

The internet and amount of information our children and teens get these days has a massive impact; on top of COVID and also adults not coping and not being able to guide them,

It’s fucking social media and technology that’s the problem.

It's so hard to tell isn't it. I have my GS living with me, his parents separated when he was 5, he has very little contact with either of them, both seem to have chosen their partners over him. He's done well with his A levels, has his gold DofE and seems to cope with it all really well. I do think he had anger issues when he moved in with us but he has worked through them. I wonder why he is coping and a friend's daughter who has had a much more settled childhood can't seem to cope.

Even harder for you to figure out when it is two sisters, I hope your DD gets better, she has every chance with your support and therapy.

Reading this thread makes me think that the problem lies with us older people actually. What a bunch of unsympathetic, judgemental people we are. If anyone is entitled it is us - many of us received a free uni education, got the opportunity to buy homes which have doubled or trebled in worth so that we're sitting on goldmines and some of us experienced having a job for life. We've buggered up the climate for them to deal with in the future and then many of us reckon the young are flakey to suggest this is a problem; we've started culture wars that have divided society. We don't care about the most vulnerable in our societies choosing to blame them for their problems. And we spend our days looking askance at and criticising the young. If that's resilience you can keep it. No wonder young people are the way you say they are - they just have to look at us lot to be scared and anxious for their future.

I think most people here are saying it’s a societal problem and not blaming the young people themselves. I can see a general consensus on that other than a few of the more extreme posters.

The kids are alright. The "decline" that people think they are seeing is a combination of changing values — generally for the better (my parents' generation was the last homophobic one, hopefully) — and us all getting older, and thus slightly more jealous every year of the young ones' lack of cares. But rest assured, they will become just as curmudgeonly as us in a mere 30 years.

https://historyhustle.com/2500-years-of-people-complaining-about-the-younger-generation/

I think the internet and social media has been incredibly harmful to an entire generation - and we haven’t even seen the full effects yet. My DD said recently “you just had the girls at your school, maybe a few girls from other schools that you knew and then some teenagers on tv - I have the whole world to compare myself against”. I really think the generation that grew up with unlimited social media has been damaged in terms of their sense of self and that is why there are so many with anxiety, who are not able to manage school and have low self esteem issues. I wouldn’t let my DD use social media until she was much older if I could go back in time. I don’t think the covid lockdown was the cause, but it did make things much worse.

So staff are using the wrong pronouns for CYP on a daily basis? Sounds like a staffing issue to me.

What I’m reading into your post is ‘progress’; times change, things move on and those of us who work with CYP need to move with those times. Resilience is a word that’s often misused and used as a lazy catch all term to avoid having to take responsibility for the shit show that young people have to deal with. True resilience is systemic and comes from children being provided with the scaffolding and support to bounce back from issues they face. It’s not just about them ‘toughening up’.

I fought hard against that not my children. All they want to do is turn them into lemon drops.

This!! Someone finally said it.

I think the media have a lot to do with the increasing lack of resilience we see in our society. The rise in MH awareness is a positive move but it isn't without its negatives; people are self diagnosing to the point it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It's rare I come across anyone who doesn't have some form of MH issue.
Celebrities & 'influencers' openly talk about their MH struggles which yields in people feeling sorry for & empathising with them. So many people are hounding their GP for a diagnosis of some-sort, & for what? So they can tell everyone about it? Use it as an excuse? 'Sorry I can't come to work for the next month because the doctor said I have anxiety'. People use their MH as a comfort blanket which completely ruins it for those who actually are really fucking suffering. Mental health isn't a designer brand you should seek to own. I realise I've gone off topic a bit here but this is what it really boils down to. People just don't TRY anymore because it's been made so easy not to.

Yes this. And then that has a knock on effect on all the other students.