To move my daughters birthday party?

[claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer]

My daughter (5) is moving school on Monday. She’s had some social difficulties in her old school and doesn’t really have any deep friendships there, although she is broadly liked. We had previously booked her an all class party for her birthday which will be 3 weeks after we move. We’d like to invite her new class, as it would be a good way to get to know some new kids and parents, but we’re a bit worried that if we turn up at a new school and invite everyone to a party, people may not come as they don’t know us or our daughter. We could move the party back about 4 weeks so that she has more chance to get to know people but of course then the party would be nearly a month after her actual party. I think this would be better and people are more likely to come, my husband thinks it’s more important she has a party near her birthday.

YABU- keep the party date
YANBU- move

I would say not a major big deal either way but no harm to move it if you can.

Thanks, I think I’ve just got this image in my head of this massive place with nobody turning up! She’s had a bit of a rough time recently so could do with something nice

Not a big deal, but if a new DC joined DD's party and invited everyone to a party we'd make an effort to go to welcome them.

It's tricky isn't it because you just can't tell what other parents would do. Hope she has a lovely time whatever happens.

Dd has a very early September birthday so when she started Reception it had already missed her birthday
We sent out invites at the start of their second week and had a party early October nobody was bothered about it being weeks after her actual birthday

Dd has a very early September birthday so when she started Reception it had already missed her birthday
We sent out invites at the start of their second week and had a party early October nobody was bothered about it being weeks after her actual birthday

Thank you :)

I would move it back if possible, only because people may already have plans 3 weeks ahead. My DCs’ party invites tend to be 6-8 weeks in advance! Though it may be different in other schools of course.

Keep the date.

A few weeks notice is more than enough. I would certainly take my child to a new classmate's party, simply to welcome them but also because my child loves parties!

A new child is quite a novelty when they arrive, so I would keep the date.

Keep the date for sure! Great way to make friends at that age is to have a fun bday party.

Just make sure to swap numbers with any parents you manage to talk to on the school run/ ask if there's a class WhatsApp so you can send invites by phone as people are more likely to rsvp when it's via text/whatsapp (in my experience).

If you are able to invite everyone I think it's a lovely icebreaker.

If I got an invitation from you I'd think you were being friendly and obviously trying to integrate by having the party. I'd also think it was a nice thing to do.

I don't think being there another month would make it any more likely for people to come. Attendance is largely down to parents at that age.

Sounds like the consensus is to keep it :) will stick with what we’ve got and hopefully it will be a nice way to meet some of her new class

My kids always wanted to go to every party they were invited to - wouldn't have mattered whether the birthday child had been around 5 minutes or 5 years.

I’d probably keep the original date and write on the invites we’d like to meet and get to know you all as ds is new to the class.

I think I would make extra effort to attend if I knew it was a new child trying to settle
in.

At that age I think if people can make it, they go. It’s not about knowing each other or not. So I don’t think the date will work against you. And the parents know each other, it’s not like there’ll be the ones surrounded by unfamiliar faces.

As above, try and find out about a what's app group on Monday and introduce yourselves on there with the invite.

The answer might depend a little on why she’s moving schools - is it because of the social difficulties she’s had? If so, is having a big party so soon going to put pressure on her?

Have you already invited the old class?

I had a similar issue a couple of years ago, my daughter birthday is early September but she had only started school and I didn’t feel it appropriate to be like “nice to meet you, here’s an invite to my party next week.” We just took her away for the weekend and she had a ball, something special that she choose to do (zoo), and she got the big party the next year.

Keep the date. Good way of getting to know people.

I think either way is fine. People will still come even if she is new.

My DD will be starting reception on her birthday so her party will be 3.5 weeks after she starts which I also think is fine.

I'm wondering why you're having a whole class party at all if she's not happy there, just invite a couple of good friends that she actually wants to be with.

My DD moved school when she was 7 and I arranged a whole class birthday party for 3 weeks after the move. Soon after she moved I managed to get a class list from the teacher and invitations out. She had a really good turn out and I got to meet the new parents, it was great. Go for it! I don't think you need to change the date if you're inviting the whole class.

I put YABU, generally to a 5 year old a party near their birthday is much more important. Otherwise it just isn't their birthday. Delaying celebrations is much more of an adult thing.
Even 7 weeks into a new school might be late notice for many kids, another kid could have the same party date already that you don't know about. She likely won't have those deep friendships, although will certainly be viewed as exciting because she's new.

Why not keep the old party date as a bye bye to her old classmates. Or alternatively do something like an exciting trip for her actual birthday and then do a 'nice to meet you party' a month later.