To move my daughters birthday party?

[claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer]

My daughter (5) is moving school on Monday. She’s had some social difficulties in her old school and doesn’t really have any deep friendships there, although she is broadly liked. We had previously booked her an all class party for her birthday which will be 3 weeks after we move. We’d like to invite her new class, as it would be a good way to get to know some new kids and parents, but we’re a bit worried that if we turn up at a new school and invite everyone to a party, people may not come as they don’t know us or our daughter. We could move the party back about 4 weeks so that she has more chance to get to know people but of course then the party would be nearly a month after her actual party. I think this would be better and people are more likely to come, my husband thinks it’s more important she has a party near her birthday.

YABU- keep the party date
YANBU- move

I would find out from nice Mum if there are any other parties same day
If not I would actually put on the invite " We are new to the School, it will be lovely meeting you all"

Could you do two parties? One when she has been at the new school for a while. She might feel conflicted with two sets of friends.

Agree - we would do the same.

I'd add, make sure you're added to the class WhatsApp group. Introduce yourselves and send a pic of the invitation and I know I'd be making an effort to come and welcome the new child.

I think what I'd do depends on what the party is. If it's something that, while expanding to 30 kids, will feel fun with a little number, then I'd keep it, invite the class and see how many come. If it's something like hiring a whole play centre, then it might feel really empty with 7 or 8 kids and your daughter might worry her class hate her, even though in reality they were probably just already busy when they were invited. In this case, I'd probably cancel the party and do something else with a few friends. Maybe take advantage of NOT knowing the whole class and do something like swimming or pottery painting that would be horribly expensive, unsafe or impossible with 30 kids.

We moved the otherside of the country when I was turning six. 10 days before my birthday. I had a party before we left. I have no recollection of this. Then after we moved and around my birthday I was allowed to have over one potential friend for a tea party and play date. It was the girl I was sitting next to in class. I remember her coming over and we became firm friends for many years. This was great for me. The following year a bigger birthday and by the age of 11 had the whole class plus some others. It really doesn't have to be large numbers. But definitely nearer the birthday the better. As at that age a month is a long time. Hopefully my experience helps. And if she hasn't any close friends maybe at the new school start with just one on one play dates first then can work out who is going to be a closer friend. It isn't the number but the quality. As we all know.

So are the old school children going as as well

Or have you cancelled that party as such but still have venue etx

Def get on wats app group and do say a hello we are new. Be lovely to meet you all and give details of date and time of party

3w isn't a lot of time for us personally and we could be booked up but equally if was free would def come and say hello to you /your child

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable but also, my DD turned 5 on oct 11, just a month after starting primary school, and every child in her class showed up to her birthday party. She had also missed 9 days of school due to sepsis in that time so only really had 2 weeks of getting to know her classmates before it, so I really don’t think it will make a difference

The old class aren’t invited and have never been- if she was staying at her current school we would have been sending out invites this week, but found out on Monday she’s got a spot at her new school.

Ah right

Then yes invite whole new class

Ask school office for details of class rep

Or you may have to give your number to them to gjve to her due to gdpr

And get on that wats app group asap

I would definitely take my child to a party for a new child in the class. I also don’t think it really matters if the party is at a later date if that makes you feel more comfortable.

I think it will help your DD to hit the ground running (and force you to move quickly in getting to know the parents) to have it 3 weeks in. You could even send invites in with her on her first day, it'll give her something to talk about.

Could you print out a small introduction to staple to the invites, with your number and that you've just joined the class and you really hope they can come - just go in "full on social," with the party as an excuse.

Move the party. Do something fun as a family for her actual birthday. She will probably never see the kids at her current school again. Btw I moved one of my daughters aged 7. Sounds similar to your situation. You will have a bit of a honeymoon period while your daughter is popular as the new kid, then things will settle down. This is your chance to make contacts with other parents not just for your daughter. The other parents may well be hard to break into - I would def move the party.

Our children are in an international School so Children are joining/leaving often. Kids just love to go to parties and it is a great way to meet other parents.

my daughters birthday also falls right in the middle of the summer holidays here so she has had parties a month before and at least 5 weeks after her actual Birthday… think she actually quite likes that aspect of it !!!

I think keep the date and see it as a good opportunity to get to know the class, I am sure if they are free they will come, I know I would get my kid to go especially if I knew your child was new.

She’s 5, if we got a party invite from the new girl we’d go as they’re so young and don’t really care who they play with! Good chance for the kids to bond and adults to meet

I am in this exact same situation. MyDD will be turning 4, we have just got word she can move school this Monday (4th March) and her party is booked for 3rd April. I did think about inviting both old class and new, but that would means giving out 60+ invites 🫠

I haven’t yet given out the invites, but I’m glad as I think I’m just going to invite the new class instead.

As a parent, and given how many kids are in classes, I don’t think I would know if it was a current or new pupil who was sending out invite 🤷🏼‍♀️

My daughter is in Reception and most of her class were also in Nursery together, so we’re in our second year of class birthday parties, and nobody even cares whose party it is - any mention of a party of any kind and all the kids want to go, and it has a bit of a domino effect because once one is going then their friends want to go too etc.

My daughter’s birthday is near Christmas so we tend to do hers a few weeks early so that more people are likely to be able to come, as Christmas can be a busy time. I just explain to her that this is her party date but her actual birthday is later, and she’s fine with that. Actually works out better because she gets to open her gifts from her friends from her party on her party day and then gifts from family on her actual birthday, so it’s like celebrating it twice

So from either of those perspectives I think you’d be OK. The main thing will be whether or not 3 weeks’ notice is enough. You’ll still have some people come either way, but the more notice you can give, the better. We usually have party invites 3-4 months in advance! But we did have one last month with only 2 weeks’ notice, and plenty of people still made it

I would skip the class party and just do something with family and other friends.

If the class party goes badly it could really backfire.

At 5 i think she will be happy to have presents on her birthday and possibly cake/ pizza and have a party a month later. It makes sense to let her make new friends.

I remember having similar anxieties with my daughter when she was little. She was shy and not part of the biggest group. She was fine, found friends and then came out her shell aged 14/15 and is now a social butterfly at 24. They find their way. X