Childminding in dirty house

[Notmyjob007]

Recently started a job as a nanny for two children, one toddler and one school age. I've noticed that each week the home especially the kitchen is getting dirtier. This morning I had to clean down counters, sweep floors and steam clean the floors as they were scruffy. When I started I was told they had mice but were on top of it and house seemed cleaned enough. I don't know if they realise the house is not clean or they are just chancing their arm and know I will clean up.

@Notmyjob007

what angle are you going with on Thursday?

They aren't going to change & clean THEIR home to YOUR standard, they're happy as they are (minging or not).

you've only been there 7 weeks, the longer you're there, the cleaner the house will become & stay. I'm guessing Mondays will remain a bit of a nightmare, but the other days should be ok, there's only so much mess they can make overnight.

However 7 weeks in & you're looking for a new job anyway, it's the perfect time to say that you need them to get in a cleaner on a Monday (at least) or you wont stay.

Well it appears we have found the poor Nanny's employer 😆

If everything else about the job is good OP give them a chance to get a cleaner, they might be mortified and immediately sort it. Some people don't notice grot as much as others.

You’ve never been able to afford a nanny have you

Look at the post I was quoting and notice I was laughing at her. I was implying the idea was preposterous
Edited to say I guess a question mark at the end would have made it more obvious I was taking the piss

I was laughing too I was trying to qoute that post and instead it shows yours. I was 1000% agreeing with you. I didn't know you can't really re qoute. I was trying to say to you that poster was the employer

Our house looks awful, stuff everywhere including floors. We are exhausted and need sleep and work late hours. That's life with young kids and busy jobs that have 15 hour days. Sometimes paying the bills means an untidy mess.

Having worked as a nanny for many years it does sound like they have had help before that does everything for them regardless of the job description. Are you their first nanny?

They don't own a hoover? Doesn't sound good...

Find another job and say you like to keep a spotless home and because of it you aren’t a good match. Either they’ll employ a cleaner or a nanny with lower standards! I’ve worked somewhere dirty before, it’s really stressful.

They sound grim.
I would mention it and give them the option to clean up or resign.
As you say you're not paid to clean up after them.
And this doesn't just sound like a bad few busy days this sounds like they live like this. Slobs.

Sounds like there happy to live in a shit hole and this is the standard they live to

I don’t get the impression they are expecting OP to clean it’s just she’s struggling to work somewhere dirty

They won't change and they aren't your children.
Absolutely see your point and I'm ocd clean but that's the truth.

Wow......

If you like the children, you should talk the parents first. Just say you love the job, but honestly you’re really struggling with all the cleaning, as it’s taking away from time with the kids…
Give them a week or two to see what happens, you can be meeting other families as a back up in the meantime.

Sounds to me if they had a cleaner, the state of the house be back how it originally was within a few hours.

Look for another job. This won't end well

@Maddy70 it is most certainly not the OP's role. Most of what the OP has mentioned is failure of the parents to provide basic,clean and sanitary living,eating and sleeping space for the children AND for her to work in ( I think there could be some Health &Safety failings there too, OP). I would look elsewhere for another job and in the mention- do you have a written contract?

If it’s only a 7 week contract, i imagine they’re temporarily really overwhelmed.

If they’re naturally messy anyway, they will be a bit blind to it all. But I imagine they do know it’s bad, they probably feel quite ashamed but don’t have the resources to do anything about it. Even sorting out a cleaner can feel like too much when you’re struggling. It’s worth bearing in mind that messy people often avoid getting cleaners because the thought of having to tidy beforehand feels overwhelming.

My guess is that they are struggling to keep balls in the air, and are having to just let the housework ball drop. They’ve got a temporary nanny in to help keep their heads above water and are grateful/hopeful that you’re not judging them. They don’t expect you to clean - so I wouldn’t assume they are cheeky fuckers.

You say you’re a very clean person. Is it possible that you just have different standards? I’m playing devils advocate here. Even if it’s just a standards thing I would look for a new job.

Horrible and very tacky. I'd be ashamed in their situation. Either they get a cleaner or pay you more to also tackle the cleaning. Or do they just think the nanny is the cleaner?

They are utter piss takers who live in filth and are thrilled to save the money for a cleaner because they have a nanny who will clean for no extra money.
are you bringing your own steam mop?? Bonkers. I think you’ll have to find a new family here.

This is what i'd do - turn it to your advantage - offer to clean once/twice a week for payment.

In this way, you get more money and you are assured that it's clean to your standard.

hon, social services are dealing with families that dont even have bedsheets, kids sleeping on bare mattresses, dont have toothbrushes, that sort of thing. just because someone lives in a messy ,dirty house that isn't an automatic social services referral ! i have family members who are qualified teachers that live in the sort of house the op describes.

I agree with @Iwishicouldflyhigh . If you like otherwise like the family, it may be worth thinking about this.

Of course it’s not your job to clean, but rather than thinking they are CFs and that their mess is a sign of disrespect, you could reframe it as them just being people who struggle.

It sounds like you’re a clean person. Are you good at cleaning, do you hate doing it or do you not mind? If you don’t mind cleaning, and don’t already have your next job lined up, and the job works for otherwise (commute, relationship with dc), then this could be an opportunity; Chip away at the cleaning, build relationships, have an impact on quality of life.

When the contract is up, explain youd love to stay, but it’s obvious they need a housekeeper/nanny. Say you’re happy to do it, but would need more money. This could be the start of a great relationship!

But, this only works if
You don’t mind cleaning/housework and would enjoy the challenge of having a bigger impact on their lives
You like the family in general
They don’t have any concrete child care plans in place for when your contract ends
They agree to a high enough rate 😁

I’m messy and it’s awful. Please don’t assume that these people are taking you for a mug - they are just very bad at keeping on top of their house. It’s not a moral failing, it’s a lack of skills. It’s not a power play over you, it’s probably just them in survival mode, balancing jobs, young family and possibly other things too (extended family, health, who knows?) Try not to judge and good luck with your decision

I honestly think some people don't 'see' or aren't concerned by dirt/mess in the same way. I have a larger family and a very tidy home but each of my dc has a close friend/best friend where their homes are a mess. We were at one last week and honestly I didn't know where to look - clean clothes, paperwork, dirty clothes, garbage in piles or strewn all around the house. I'm sure they haven't cleaned their bathrooms or vacuumed in months - the dirt was so thick. I cannot even put into words the mess. The toys were everywhere. Both parents work part time. One dc in FT school and one dc in 21 hrs/week nursery. My eldest dd's best friend has a SAHM and only 1 dc at home who is gone 40 hrs/week. You can't even sit in their home due to stuff, it's everywhere. Neither of these people think their homes are dirty, just lived in. They really don't see it. I suspect that's the case for your employers too.