To take son out of school

[Crispymandm]

Hi all, really need advice here.

my son is in year 6, youngest in the class and has a stoma and hyper mobility.

Last Wednesday as he should have being arriving home I saw him walking up the path with two officers covered in blood.

The officers had thankfully seen my son just after he had being assaulted by a boy in his class on his way home, this boy had first kicked my son twice in the face while in class. He had not owned up to it as it was under the table and my son couldn’t tell which child it was. My son was then told who it was, then as he was leaving he asked him why he had kicked him in his eyes.
my son was then suddenly slapped in the face and headbutted with serious force with the other boys hands around his head.

my son has a bust nose and lip a blackened eye and chipped tooth.

the officers had never seen anything like this from a 10 year old and went to his house. They said although the boys parents were mortified the boy showed no remorse. They wanted to prosecute but the superior has decided on a referral to social services and the youth justice team.

the police went into school and then called me to say the school were unsupportive of there recommendation to permanent exclude and also said my son couldn’t have been in too much distress after the kicks to the face as he didn’t take an ice pack when offered.

I have a meeting with the school tomorrow morning as the boy has only been suspended for a week. My problem is my son is extremely scared of being anywhere near him and this boy was suspended last month for two weeks for another sudden unprovoked attack on a boy which the teachers said was “the worst the school had ever seen”.

the school said they “don’t want to ruin the other boys future” and have missed my son in class. I said both me and my son don’t feel safe with him near my son or other pupils as he uses extreme violence for one so young and is unpredictable and unprovoked with it.

Of course I do feel this lad needs help but my primary concern and responsibility is being a voice for my son who has being teary all weekend which is so unlike him.

The police and doctors have said this level of force could have killed my son.

Tonight he had a panic attack. He couldn’t breathe but could in his own words.

what on earth do I do? Aibu to think my only option is to remove him from school?

Your poor baby, what a terrible attack and the school response is unbelievably weak. I wouldn’t feel safe to send him back either.

are there other options nearby? What about friendships you and he would want to maintain?

O wow what an awful situation. I hope your Son is ok. I'd not send him back till he has recovered from this anyway and there is a plan in place to safeguard your son at school. If they don't do this to your satisfaction id definitely take him out and look for a new school.
Ensure you put concerns in writing to your chair of governors, HT and safeguarding lead etc. Attach pictures and make it clear he won't return until a plan is in place.
Hope you are ok!

You need to go to the school’s designated safeguarding lead and ask them how they are going to fulfil their statutory obligation to your child in providing him an education in safety and free from child on child abuse.

if you don’t get any traction then lodge a formal complaint and go to the governors.

you can also report to ofsted.

Speak to lea about moving to another school

Why was he under the table being kicked?

I'd write to everyone, the head, the governors, academy chair people if its an academy, the local Priest and diocese if a Church school, doing everything I could to get that other kid permanently excluded.

You also need to ask them why they are not adhering to their own behaviour policy which will be available from the school website. On our school’s policy this would be immediate temporary exclusion and the repeated nature could mean permanent exclusion

Forts make sure your son recovers, he needs time to heal.

Ho with a list and be clam - do not get emotional - read the behaviour policy and the complaints procedure.

Yes looks for a new school - but what about secondary school? Will this boy be in the new school?

Also, the school are wrong to protect the child - any prosecution can come from you not school they don’t get a say - they are wrong not to refer the child to a PRU - that’s where he’d get the most help.

I would ask what the are doing to safe guard your child - I would also seek compensation for his injuries -

Keep up with the police.

Don’t get bogged down in having to act concerned for this other boy. Focus completely on your son and making sure he’s okay. I would do whatever I had to do to keep his other kid away from him, the school seem more concerned about the attacker than his victim, it’s all the wrong way round.

Yes and take photos of the injuries. They need to see them.

As a teacher, I normally support schools on mumsnet because I understand what goes on there.

In this case, I would march into the school and raise merry hell. Are they trying to destroy my child’s future? I’d also contact the police and push for a reevaluation of the decision not to charge/prosecute. (I’m surprised that they seem to have made that decision so quickly). And I’d be asking the school why the6 didn’t follow police recommendations to permanently exclude. And unless they permanently exclude, I’d be contacting the governors for an urgent meeting to discuss whether they felt it was appropriate for the school to ignore police recommendations and what they planned to use as a defence when the child attacked someone again. Would the school be complicit or liable in anyway?

Local school a boy kicked the stuffing out of a teacher and he was allowed back into school - beggars belief - he’s since hurt others - hands are tied apparently.

Soeak to your MP - more that know the better.

What should I be asking for in regard to safeguarding? Is there anything they can put in place considering how unpredictable these attacks are?

my son was under a table with 5 other boys on it getting his pencil. The police had been told by the school that when they watched the cctv from the class it was this boy but couldn’t tell if it was an accident or not.
thanks everyone my son is sleeping now thankfully , it was heartbreaking to see him panicking about school tomorrow even though the boy isn’t there.

Awful. Ask gp to refer to counselling CAMHS for ptsd

@Crispymandm in my mind, nothing but a permanent exclusion would do. Nothing else will work to safeguard the other children.

This is not a one off, but a repeated pattern of behaviour.

I am horrified by your post especially given the age of kids involved. I can't believe that the other child has not been excluded!
I'm slightly bias I told my kids out of school but I would not be putting my child in that situation again if I had an option not to.

You need an urgent meeting with head and dsl to ask how they plan to keep your ds safe in future. If needs be put in a formal complaint and take it to LADO if you are unhappy with the school's response. Check the bullying and discipline policy before a meeting to ask how it has been applied.

Your poor boy OP

Raise this with everyone. Threaten to go to the press. The MP. Governors. Everyone.

What a little skank that attached is. Happy not to ruin his future but potentially damage your boys!

Absolutely I would take him out until the school removes the other boy or you find him a new school. With his serious health issues would home-schooling be a sustainable option?

Can you act with the other parents who have had their child hurt by this boy?

You need to report this school for their lack of safeguarding. I wouldn't let this go and I work in a school. Make a lot of noise. If that child can do this sort of thing at 10 and show no remorse then imagine what he will be like by 15

Thanks so much everyone, I have emailed my MP and feeling very nervous for our meeting at half 8. I’m going to stand firm and demand permanent exclusion. No adult would be expected to sit in a room with somebody who had headbutted them in a random attack.
my poor son is so nervous I will be booking him in with the doctor as soon as it opens.
thank you for making me feel not crazy, it’s great to hear other mums feel the same that the school response has being weak.

Something comparable happened to my ds. The other child was expelled instantly, before we had even spoken to the school. The school contacted us to assure us that they were safeguarding DS. It did go to court, I’m surprised at the police decision.

Good luck today OP, don’t be robbed off by the school.

Do you feel comfortable speaking to the boys parents? Even if the school can somehow reassure you that they will safeguard your DS at school will the boy still be able to attack your DS after school or will he be supervised?

The school can put things in place but what happens on the way to/from school?