To tell my cleaner to stop wearing perfume?

[LeMoax]

We have a cleaner that comes once a week for four hours. We’ve used the same cleaning company for a while but recently they’ve chopped and changed the staff, so after a period of different people each week it seems we’ve now settled on someone regularly.
She cleans okay but wears really strong perfume. So strong that after she goes I need to leave all the windows in the house open for a good hour or so to get rid of her smell.

AIBU to ask her or her boss to ask her to stop wearing the perfume before coming to our house?

Why do you feel you couldn't say anything? This is your home you are talking about, your own personal space! I can see why you wouldn't want to say anything at work (although a lot of workplaces now have a scent free policy) but if you are employing someone, you have a right to ask them not to do something which impacts you so directly. PP are behaving as if the OP was complaining that the cleaner's skirt was too short or something, which would indeed be overstepping.

Yes, that really did last a long time. I once worked with someone who wore a lot of CD Dune. A lovely fragrance, but I think she bathed in it, and smoked, so used to have another spray every time she went for a cig. The whole building smelt of it. I had to try and keep my distance, or feel ill. 🤒

I do not think that having a cleaner is the height of luxury - I have my own. I do however believe that it is not up to OP to control what perfume she wears, that’s just being entitled and rude. Don’t like it then don’t have her.

I’m just terrible at saying things to people - I’m very introverted!

Jesus, the problems some people have.

Hello

IMO you are being unfair on the OP like several others here

OP just asked for opinions and not for one moment has OP indicated that they see the cleaner as a "slave" - please stop twisting what was stated.

As I said, anyone/OP can ask - you know that I know that and hopefully everyone else here knows that. Then, we should all be aware of the options the cleaner has.

I've already recommended to OP to contact the employer

🙄

If you're paying, and it's in your own home you can request whatever you like.

Slavery doesn't come into it.

While there are ways that the request could be phrased rudely, IMO it is not an inherently rude request. I also don't know why some posters (not you, but the earlier posters) jumped to 'do your own cleaning' rather than 'find another cleaner'. That is what made me think that they looked down on the OP for having a cleaner in the first place.

Exactly! Obviously, the OP should ask politely, and be prepared to hear 'no' (in which case she should find another cleaner/firm) but people who jump to 'slavery' are being absurd and actually offensive to people who are geniunely being trafficked and enslaved.

The fact your title of the thread uses the word 'tell' rather than 'request' speaks volumes.

Hopefully it was an oversight, and you meant 'ask', like you've written in the body of your post.

This.

You tell them it was the perfume unless you want to jeopardise this poor woman's job by saying she is a mediocre cleaner!

I think you could approach your cleaner and explain that members of the household are sensitive to smells and perfumes. You could ask if you could have the first slot of the day before she puts on perfume? If she is not happy then just look for a different cleaner.

I rarely wear perfume hubby sneezes. I have found a few he doesn't react to.
Some people are very sensitive to scents and some can be allergic.

People often don't realise how strong their perfume is. My friend always moans that her perfume doesn't linger and sprays multiple times when out. She smells like a perfume department.

I had a lecturer who sprayed 'Youth Dew' around everytime she nipped out for a ciggy. Tutorials were unpleasant.

I don't mind walking through perfume departments etc. Maybe , because I had a Saturday job in the perfumery department as a student.
Yet,I physically gag and now try to avoid walking near Lush and Subway sandwich shops. Both nauseating.

I hope you can come to an arrangement with your cleaner. In our house it would be a problem too.

I once used Zoflora in my bathroom, midnight blooms I think it was (off the back of MN recommendations no less!) and it was a very unpleasant 48 hours. I thought the smell would never go.

I’m in the minority here, but yes I would ask the cleaning company to request your cleaner doesn’t wear perfume or opens all the windows and airs the place as she cleans.
Lots of reasons:

• certain perfumes make me heave, so I am fussy about which ones I buy and have had to leave rooms where another person was wearing one in particular because I was about to lose my lunch. Not their fault, in a communal space it’s my problem to manage.
• a cleaning service is supposed to be unobtrusive - you should be able to smell that your home is clean, but you should not be able to detect the presence of the staff who’ve been in your home.
• it is upsetting to have the scent of a stranger overlay those in your home - this is a fairly primitive thing.

You can be self-effacing in the request (‘I have a hypersensitive nose and certain perfumes make me feel unwell, but I know XX is a fabulous cleaner and would hate to lose her’ blah blah).

So in your daily workplace - if someone told you they didn't like your perfume and you should stop wearing it because your smell lingers for hours and they don't like it, they even go to the extent they open windows for hours just to rid their environment of the stink you leave.

You'd be ok with that person? You'd just change your personal style; to appease them? because no matter how you put it - the cleaner wears a perfume they like, makes a choice to do so, for whatever reason. Noseblind, smoker, who knows? They make the choice to wear that perfume in that amount.

Personally i'd think they were an arse.

Tbf, it’s good that you’re opening your windows after a clean , it allows the property to be aired out.

You would be unreasonable to tell her not to wear the perfume however you could ask.

You can think whatever you want.

But if are working for me in my house, I’m paying you, and your choices are making me ill, then I will either mention it, or just won’t employ you again.

Migraines are a horrible thing. I’m not going to risk that just because you have made a choice.

Okay as one of the people who do actually have a very strong reaction to scents I’m not some fragile flower who can’t cope with life. It’s a real problem, according to my GP anyway. I cope by working in an office on my own with a window I can open if necessary, I’ve had to leave a front row seat at 2 different shows and sit in a rubbish seat at the back because someone next to me in the front was wearing strong perfume. I’ve had to leave a friends house cause they had one of those diffuser things. I could give many other examples of how this sensitivity affects me and unfortunately it’s getting worse. I use as many unscented products as I can, I have unscented hand wash, unscented hand cream and shower gel, I can only use 1 type of washing capsule on my clothes and 1 type of spray cleaner and one type of shampoo and conditioner. I have actually been sick a couple of times but mostly get a blinding headache and feel nauseous. I would actually prefer to be in a house smelling of arse and horses or even dog shit because although it’s unpleasant it doesn’t actually make me feel ill. So thanks for the snark.

The difference is that you are not employing the people in your workplace, and your workplace is not your home. Your comparison is therefore apples to oranges.

I think it's a bit unreasonable to ask someone not to wear perfume, and would probably carry on with the window opening or use a deneutralising spray.

I think it depends on how much its affecting you. I struggle with some perfumes etc because they can trigger off migraines and that lasts for a few days so I'm quite careful with what cleaning products and perfumes etc I use myself. If it's causing you an issue like that then I see no harm in explaining that you're a bit sensitive to strong scents, even nice ones, and I'd say you're not sure if it's perfume or cleaning products but you'd appreciate it if something less fragranced could be used.

If its simply a case that you don't like it and that the smell lingers then I wouldn't say anything and just do as you have been and air the house after.

What deneutralising spray?

NotQuiteNorma · Yesterday 21:09

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Why, @NotQuiteNorma ? We have a dear friend who is pretty heavy on the perfume and it takes at least a couple of days for it to completely dispel in the guest room.

Not an unreasonable request at all, OP.

Also, if my perfume was so strong that I was making people choke, I would actually want to know! I love perfume, and I have a great range of them, but I am always super careful to spray delicately, rather than douse myself in it. If I was upsetting people, I would really want to know. I wouldn't think they were being cheeky at all. I wonder if some of the people giving the OP a hard time are in the habit of slathering it on and feel embarrassed: in which case, they need to have a look at themselves. Strong perfume is very common.