To ask if it’s petit bourgeois to clean the house before guests arrive?

[HomeostaticSetPoint]

Just that. We always clean the house thoroughly before guests, even play dates. Bathrooms, bins, everything. I’m wondering if this is because we’re lower middle class as my posher friends don’t really bother. What’s the norm?

No the truly posh friends have their cleaners keep the house clean at all times.
When I worked in investment banking I did notice that many people would leave skid marks all the time in the bathrooms. It’s like it’s beneath them to clean their own sh*t. Those people had the same hygiene at home (for some of the homes I visited).

I don't think I'm especially posh, but I am privately educated and I'm definitely still a panic cleaner, so no veneer of self assurance here. 😂

For me, it's mostly down to how much I like the people, what they're coming to my house for, and/or how judgemental I think they're going to be. Good friends popping round for lunch/a cup of tea and so the kids can play I don't usually bother cleaning for as I know they're not going to judge me if it's a bit untidy, and the house is generally reasonably clean anyway. Any friends coming to stay for a few nights and I'll clean (but just a regular run the hoover round, clean the bathrooms type of clean, I'm not emptying bins that don't need it or anything) in advance as I know lots of people in the house will generate more mess and I don't want to be cleaning when they're there so better to start with a decent baseline!

Mingers then.

Yes , we absolutely do a ‘panic clean’ if anyone comes round, including bathroom, bins etc, forces me to do it properly. Especially if it’s my mum haha.
Most well off people I know have a cleaner so it’s all maintained and doesn’t require such a panic, more of a tidy up!

I'm a panic cleaner. I think it stems from not wanting to be judged negatively for having an unclean or messy house. I'm also aware that my house isn't in the best condition, I.e could do with an update and a lick of paint and so feel a little embarrassed by it

I'm middle class and clean the bits people will see.

I always always clean before guests come round. Bathrooms a priority. I would 100% be upset to have guests to a dirty house. Sadly my solution is often not to have guests

I even clean for my MIL whose own house is really scummy so I know she won't care or notice. She laughs at me if she catches me doing it.

My issue is that it all got a bit out of hand in the pandemic when no- one was coming round and it's been a long slog to try to get it anywhere near decent again. We are shocking hoarders, mega busy FT + jobs and lazy teen DC. I don't feel I can even have a cleaner as the house is too untidy. I have toyed with getting a decluttering person in but DH says it's a waste of money and he will do it. Then he doesn't do it.

Was supposed to spend this half term week sorting it out but have been ill and really tired and didn't. I did the hallway today and it nearly finished me off.

I don't think this is a class marker as such.

People who are self-assured probably spend less time worrying about being judged by others, and that may well apply more often to posh folk. That said, it also applies to people who simply DGAF and that's more universal 😂

Personally i spend at least a whole day tidying & cleaning when expecting visitors. If anyone turns up unannounced they stay in the entrance way.

I'm common as muck and I wouldn't bother cleaning for friends coming over or play dates. I have a toddler and 2 dogs so constant tidying and cleaning feels futile with them hovering nearby waiting to fuck it all back up again.

If we had people staying over I would definitely clean the bathroom though, I'd die if there were skids!! And I'd give them clean sheets and a tidy bedroom.

My aunt and uncle are very posh and their ginormous house is usually gloriously untidy but the bathrooms and kitchen are squeaky clean.

I'm dying to get a robot vacuum and programme it to follow my spaniel around 🤣

Before guests is the only time I clean.

Both of these things can't be true...

If family comes i dont clean but friends i do.

Me too!

We have a fairly small house so I always panic clean and tidy before people come round, to try and make it look its best.

I often think if I had a big Victorian house full of character then I’d just leave the clutter, because it would still feel cosy even when cluttered.

My current house doesn’t feel cosy when there are clothes airers up, piles of stuff on the table etc.

I sort the loos.

My house is normally in an ok state anyway these days.

I clean after people have left as lots dont take their shoes of and mess bits up.

I must admit that this is me - although refuse is a strong word for it. I just know the house has been thoroughly cleaned within the last couple of days so feel relaxed about guests, even if there is some clutter as none of it is old.

It's petit bourgeois to worry about whether things are petit bourgeois or not.

If you think your house could do with a clean before your guests arrive, clean it - you don't need imaginary permission from imaginary social standards police.

I always clean absolutely thoroughly, but try to make it look as though the house always looks like that. For example I will leave a few things out and maybe a few bits of paper in the bin etc.

I don't know why but I hate the idea of people thinking I've cleaned especially for them!

I clean thoroughly all the time but our house is small so it's easy to keep up with. I remember when I was a kid my mum used to shoot upstairs and check the bathroom was clean and tidy & all the bedroom doors were shut if anyone appeared at the door & she'd be twitchy until they left, I never wanted to feel like that .

Totally depends on my closeness to the guest.

If you turn up and the place is a tip and I'm unwashed in my Jim jams then you're family.

Everyone has different levels of panic cleaning.

I'd not empty the bins if they don't need emptying and I couldn't care less if friends come round for a coffee when my kitchen has signs we ate that morning, but would probably quickly wipe down the bathroom and would get DC to put their toys/books back in the bins whilst I'm neatening the living room so it doesn't look like a bomb went off in Toys R Us.

I clean weekly and little daily wipes, sweeps and tidying that I feel is normal. If a guest or play date was coming with their parent I would check all is tidy and clean but it normally is anyway unless cooking or just cooked. Would not empty bins. They get emptied once a week or as needed. Kids are grown up but even when small I didn’t have all toys out. Didn’t have a play room just got a few things out at a time and taught them to tidy before getting other stuff out. That’s basic training! 😂

This is me entirely! I clean, but I’d be mortified for anyone to think I’d cleaned. What if they thought my cleaning wasn’t up to scratch?

OP you need to address this as it’s extreme. The best houses are not the cleanest. They are the warmest and friendliest. The sooner you learn this, the better. 🙏

This.

I thought you meant if you were having people over to stay for a few days and was going to say even I would clean before that, but I wouldn't if friends were dropping by.
I am an outlier on MN in that I love people popping in if they are passing, or being invited in on the spur of the moment, and, in those circumstances, they obviously take us as they find us.
If, OTOH, I'd invited people over for dinner, or a party or something, then yes, I would tidy up / clean downstairs for a pre-planned visit, although that wouldn't necessarily mean I'd empty all bins etc, I would make sure there was a nice clean towel in the downstairs loo, and things generally looked clean and tidy.

However, I wouldn't get worked up about it, and am more than comfortable inviting people in on a "take us as you find us" basis.