I might BU because I’m not well but honestly

[catgirl1976]

I’m not well. Been off work all week on two types of anti biotics and 60mg of coedine four times a day which in itself is knocking me out. I feel like crap, it might be something more sinister and even though that’s unlikely I’ve got to go for more tests in two weeks and that’s worrying me. I’ve not left the house all week except to go to the hospital. I can’t even have a glass of wine because of the pills and I’m bored, tired, worried and in pain.

Ive been up at 7am every day to get DS ready for school and then gone back to bed and got up to cook dinner. I was hoping for a lie in today but DH woke me up fumbling about in his sleep, then the cat, then DM popped round so I’ve not had a nap today.

Gets to 5pm and DS asks what’s for dinner. I’d rather eat my own feet than cook but I say enchiladas. He pulls a face and asks can we have fajitas. I say we can but there’s not babycorn and you only like them with baby corn so you’ll have to have peppers. Doesn’t want that. I say double check in the fridge for corn and if not ask you dad to come through and we’ll have a chat about dinner.

DS comes back. No corn. Did you ask your dad to come through? “No he’ll have enchilada’s and I will I suppose.” Not what I asked - eventually DS gets DH to come through and I say I’m tired I’m not well and I don’t feel like cooking something no one even wants.

DH then asks “are you saying you want to get a takeaway” I say no I’m not I’m saying maybe someone else could bloody cook. I also resent the implication that if I wanted to get a takeaway I wouldn’t just say that.

Anyway we are getting a take away because that’s apparently the only possible other option if I’m out of action and I’ve been accused of being shitty with everyone. Maybe I am but really should I even have to bloody ask for someone else to put things in a bloody pan and apply heat until it’s a meal or am I being really really unreasonable?

rant over but ffs

YANBU. Why can't DH cook?

Exactly. It’s not difficult 😞

Dh is not a confident cook (he does all the clothes washing and I do the food so it’s a fair burden). However, if I’m ill or caught up at work he will cook without any question.

I’d have been more passive aggressive and told ds to ask dh what he’s cooking for dinner. Not very grown up but I’m happy to be petty when needed. Hope you feel better soon op.

Yanbu but I would have been much clearer from the start and said I’m not well enough to cook or parent this weekend.

I hope you are feeling much better soon.

You're not unreasonable in the slightest. Your DH is being pathetic and really rather uncaring. Why the hell can't he cook something? Can he not cook?

Take advantage of the takeaway, and have something you really like, just for you. Then go and have an early night. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Not unreasonable at all. They are too used to you being the food provider. Wean them off! I’m have started doing this just softly, by answering ‘I don’t know’ to a lot of their food based questions until they get hired and make their own! But mine are slightly older and I’m more than happy to have them eat cheese toasted and fruit / omelette / ramen noodles once a week for tea.

He sounds bloody selfish. You’re unwell, he should be letting you rest while he sorts meals out.

YANBU. I would have said I don't know. Cook whatever you fancy when they asked what was for tea.

DH sounds pretty useless.

When you're better you need to have a chat with DH about a better distribution of duties so that essential tasks like meals are picked up by whichever if you is best placed to do them. There is no way any adult should be so unfamiliar with food prep that their sick partner still has to do it.

I don’t understand why you’ve been such a martyr?

you’re either to I’ll to cook and do things your dh could do or you aren’t

Yanbu it doesn’t take a genius to see you’re not well and to parent/cook until you’re feeling better.

Thank you all. I’m going to eat my takeaway, have a bath and go to bed and leave them bloody to it. And I’ll be asking what’s for dinner tomorrow as I’m not making it.

You’ve got a DH problem, he sounds like a wet blanket.

Why is your husband so useless?
Cooking rota seems like a good idea. DS can assist whoever's on duty if they want him to. How old is he?
I really hope you feel better soon.

Couldn’t DH go and get some baby corn? If they want fajitas that much. If not, stick to your enchiladas guns.
I’m sorry you feel so unwell, if it is the virus that’s going round it has floored so many people at work, with multiple lots of antibiotics and time off sick for people who are just never off. I hope it isn’t the more serious thing and your tests put your mind at rest.

DS is 12 so more than capable of helping. DH is bloody 50 so has absolutely no excuse.

thank you for the get well wishes.

At least she's a martyr who can spell and punctuate.

You should eat your dinner, then have an early night, but before you go to bed make it very clear to DH that you are exhausted and unwell and you need rest tomorrow, so meals, homework, sorting uniform etc., are down to him. And ask him to deal with any visitors tomorrow, well meaning or otherwise.

If he kicks up a fuss, just say "don't be ridiculous, you expect me to do this all the time, I am sure you can manage one day".

No advice, only sympathy. I’m also sick of being the default cook and cleaner when nobody else be arsed. DD hasn’t cooked in weeks, DH hasn’t cooked in months. Either I cook or we get takeaway.

I WFH part time and look after a puppy full time so everyone just leaves everything to me because they see me as available and apparently I don’t need any down time!

I imagine they were excited to get a takeaway instead?

That’s a cheap blow

Your DH should be getting up with the kids, doing all the cooking, looking after you and you should be in bed or at least on the sofa.

Tell him to pull his lazy finger out.

I know what I’d rather be 🤣

A spiteful person who needs English lessons?

I normally do the cooking in our house. I remember when I was pregnant and really tired, and feel to manky to cook he would always default to a takeaway, and I would be really angry, as a takeaway is my treat, to use when I don't feel like cooking, you only cook once every few weeks so you don't need the break of a takeaway on 'your' one night (especially when I'm pregnant and actually want something vaguely nutritious that won't make me feel sick)

It's really hard to explain without sounding really petty though. Like what's the big deal with a takeaway once a week or so. I'm sure someone a lot better with words will be along to explain!