I might BU because I’m not well but honestly

[catgirl1976]

I’m not well. Been off work all week on two types of anti biotics and 60mg of coedine four times a day which in itself is knocking me out. I feel like crap, it might be something more sinister and even though that’s unlikely I’ve got to go for more tests in two weeks and that’s worrying me. I’ve not left the house all week except to go to the hospital. I can’t even have a glass of wine because of the pills and I’m bored, tired, worried and in pain.

Ive been up at 7am every day to get DS ready for school and then gone back to bed and got up to cook dinner. I was hoping for a lie in today but DH woke me up fumbling about in his sleep, then the cat, then DM popped round so I’ve not had a nap today.

Gets to 5pm and DS asks what’s for dinner. I’d rather eat my own feet than cook but I say enchiladas. He pulls a face and asks can we have fajitas. I say we can but there’s not babycorn and you only like them with baby corn so you’ll have to have peppers. Doesn’t want that. I say double check in the fridge for corn and if not ask you dad to come through and we’ll have a chat about dinner.

DS comes back. No corn. Did you ask your dad to come through? “No he’ll have enchilada’s and I will I suppose.” Not what I asked - eventually DS gets DH to come through and I say I’m tired I’m not well and I don’t feel like cooking something no one even wants.

DH then asks “are you saying you want to get a takeaway” I say no I’m not I’m saying maybe someone else could bloody cook. I also resent the implication that if I wanted to get a takeaway I wouldn’t just say that.

Anyway we are getting a take away because that’s apparently the only possible other option if I’m out of action and I’ve been accused of being shitty with everyone. Maybe I am but really should I even have to bloody ask for someone else to put things in a bloody pan and apply heat until it’s a meal or am I being really really unreasonable?

rant over but ffs

Spiteful?

because I wouldn’t put up with a poor excuse of a partner…

Time to have a cooking rota, especially for DH, the lazy fucker.

Can you clarify what this means? Thanks

I totally sympathise, on my dhs birthday recently I felt the most ill I've felt in years and dragged myself out for a meal with him (while the kids were at school) he still was pissed off cos my being ill "ruined" his birthday. Men are just insensitive pigs

Which part are you struggling with?

or have you just name changed to prove a point 🙄

I remember your username from when your little boy was a baby and your husband did absolutely nothing. So it isn't surprising to read that he's still useless. I'm sorry he hasn't stepped up at all.

No, I haven’t name changed. I was genuinely curious what ‘you’re either to I’ll to cook and do things your dh could do or you aren’t’ could mean.

Not sure why you don’t want to clarify?

Yanbu. My partner would be cooking every night if I was that unwell. I don't understand why your husband isn't cooking dinner.

I have lupus and when it gets bad (I also worked 2 jobs until recently) we had toastie nights. My other half isn’t the best in the kitchen lol. So the agreement is it’s something simple, cheese toasties and a yoghurt etc…. Might not work in your case, but saves a lot of stress in my home, and everyone is fed. Hope you feel better soon.

It's hardly ambiguous? What don't you understand?

I don’t think it’s spiteful to point out that the OP is being a martyr. She sounds horrifically ill but yet has got up at 7am all week and cooked all week. Why has she done that? If she’s that ill she should have been in bed all week or at least for part of the week. If there is nobody in her house who is able to put her first and suggest she takes it easy for a bit she should have spoken up for herself. And I say this because there is no suggestion that OP is in an abusive relationship where it’s not possible to stand up for herself.

Men are not “just insensitive pigs”. You have just picked a shit one to marry. Convincing yourself that all men are like your DH will stop you leaving and keep you in an awful marriage.

This
DH was an only child of older parents waited on hand, foot and finger. He grew up and learned to cook. He is a fully functioning adult.
Yes when I've been unwell, he just cooks for all with no question or even if I'm not 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Honeyglazed I knew what you meant and 100% agree, I suspect it's too much Saturday night wines for the grammar police to cope with. 🤣

I’ve already said, I don’t understand what ‘you’re either to I’ll to cook and do things your dh could do or you aren’t’ means. If you understand, why don’t you clarify?

My DH does that thing where if I say I don’t want to cook or I’m not hungry says “So are you saying you want a takeaway?” I say no you are cooking 😂

If we are going out and I say something like it’s a long way or I’m tired. He’ll say so you are saying you don’t want to go then?

Surely if that’s what I wanted to say I’d actually say those words!

He’ll also say “well that’s what you are thinking.” Clever that he can mind read

This is the issue isn't it? Lazy men get away with doing nothing for years and years because there's a woman who will just do everything for him.

By the sounds of it the OP has cooked tea every day for 12 years (or more?). Why do so many women put up with it? It's shit because that's exactly what their son will expect when he's older and the cycle will continue.

I’m going to assume positive intent here and point out that iPhones invariably correct “ill” to “I’ll” because ill is not a word Americans use, and honestly we should make more of a fuss about this.

@catgirl1976 I sympathise, but would strongly recommend saying the words “I am too ill to cook or organise cooking, it’s your job until I am better”

Tell him now that you won't be cooking tonight - you're too unwell.

What he wants to provide for you all to eat is up to him. The fridge and freezer are fair game, and you're telling him now while the shops are open, if he wants to get something different.

And, perhaps you've mentioned it, by why is his dad here, contributing nothing and waiting to be fed like a toddler? If he doesn't live with you, and is contributing nothing, send him home!