Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect him not to eye somebody else up in front of me

57 replies

friendtodinosaurs · 24/02/2024 16:22

For context, I've been in a previous relationship that ended with me finding out id been cheated on several times within the space of 3 years.

A few nights ago, my partner and I went into our nearest city for some drinks to celebrate a friend's promotion. We were all at a bar chatting - some had had more to drink than others. My OH whispered to a friend and visibly looked a very pretty girl (not one we knew) up and down in a very obvious way. I mentioned it in passing later on and the response I got was "I expect you do it all the time and I wouldn't make a deal out of it. I can't only be attracted to you, look at you".

AIBU to be upset about this? He's emphatically said he would never cheat on me and sober says he doesn't look at other people like that (??). He seems to have forgotten the whole conversation but it's burst my happy bubble. Am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:
ByRubyPoet · 13/07/2024 19:37

This guy is bad news and so cruel . No class no taste . Imagine if a super hot guy with killer abs sidled up to the bar and you gave him the look he’d be fuming . You should dump him why ? Cos he has no RESPECT for you and frankly you deserve better

Calliopespa · 13/07/2024 19:39

friendtodinosaurs · 24/02/2024 16:27

I think it's the 'look at you' that hurt me the most really. Just looking somebody up and down like that isn't something I'd expect from him but that part is what hurt. I'm not saying in any way that I'm the most beautiful person on earth but until now he has always made me feel like that so maybe that's way this has shocked me a bit.

What did that bit mean?

Calliopespa · 13/07/2024 19:42

Calliopespa · 13/07/2024 19:39

What did that bit mean?

I can’t read the way he said it but to me it reads like “ I can’t only be attracted to you because you’re not really a looker.” 😱 But I’m thinking I must be wrong or you’d be packing your bags instead of posting …

ByRubyPoet · 13/07/2024 19:46

It’s all deflecting noise on his part he disrespected you so much by ogling her in front of you then tries to crassly and clumsily defend his creepy actions . What next would he get her number or ask you to watch while he flirts with her it’s grossly insulting behaviour and if he does this in front of you what is he doing when you’re not there ?

Screamingabdabz · 13/07/2024 19:50

Nope. This little interaction would be the relationship over for me. Obviously eyeing up women (which is sleazy in itself) but to do it openly and brazenly and saying you can take it or fucking leave it.

I’d leave it.

You deserve better op.

TuesdayQ · 13/07/2024 19:58

Janetime · 24/02/2024 16:40

Did he really make you think you were rhe most beautiful woman on earth. Like you thought that? And thought he thought that?

That's not what she's saying; she's saying he made her feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. There's a pretty distinct difference, and one that would still mean you be as - if not more - shocked by the 'look at you' comment.

Either you didn't understand that, or you were looking for a reason to be nasty to make you feel better: pretty ugly behaviour.

WhydoIcaresomuch · 13/07/2024 20:23

Janetime · 24/02/2024 16:40

Did he really make you think you were rhe most beautiful woman on earth. Like you thought that? And thought he thought that?

What’s wrong with that?! My husband makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. He says for him I am.

OP, red flag; dump

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread