I am absolutely sick of never having spare money

[lockd]

Anyone else feel the same?

We have enough money to pay our bills comfortably and are able to have the kids in a club each, so we are lucky really, which is where I feel so unreasonable always whinging about money.

However, that's literally it. I keep just getting so jealous seeing people going on family holidays, weekend trips away, meals out, having a takeaway night each week, going out to do activities like bowling/cinema every weekend with kids, renovating their houses etc.

I like to think I'm not a greedy person, however I'd just love to have the money to save to buy a house, or enough to have a cheap holiday each year, or even just get a takeaway without stressing.

it's mn, you could say you have a week to live and you'd be told to be grateful you were born at all.

True!

Sorry things are a struggle OP. Sometimes those little “treats” are enough to just keep you going, like you have something to look forward to.

When my kids were little, Saturday nights were fast food/rented movie nights, and we did look forward to it a lot even though it wasn’t very exciting!

I don’t have any great wisdom other than someone suggested to go through your budget and see if there’s anywhere you could make cuts, but in reality, you probably already know where the money is going.

I would agree that SM can steal your joy, so maybe get off that. My DD ditched it a few years ago because she was tired of seeing all her classmates graduating from university and going to Europe etc etc. she wasn’t unhappy for them, but she had had some struggles and wasn’t in the same place, so it was making her feel less about herself.

I hope things get easier in the future.

@lockd I hear you!

Though in my case my spare money is going on credit card debt built up separating and starting again from scratch last year. I am covering minimum payments and usual bills and that's about it.

I know. A lot of these things are like a parrallel universe to me. It doesn't help that I have a cousin who is very flash, loaded. Villa in Spain, about 6 properties. Would he lend me a fiver? Not a fucking chance.
He wears a Rolex and hates me because I'm a disability benefits claimant.

I hear alot of people here, going through the same. To put it in perspective. Yesterday 2 motoconchos (motorcycle taxi drivers) got in a fight over a HALF loaf of bread, and one killed the other. Not money. Bread. What is the world coming too?

Absolutely agree on this! We've somehow got to a point where if we're not using food banks and can put the heating on, we are "lucky". That was a basic standard not too long ago! Living standards in other parts of the world aren't really relevant.

I grew up in the 70s/80s and while I did live in poverty, I had friends. I would see the setup where dad worked, mum was either a sahm or worked part time. They had money left after bills. One friend, her family went caravanning most weekends in the summer. In high school my peers often went to the cinema or clothes shopping on a Saturday. They'd usually have a week or two away somewhere on holiday. Everyone had a car, even my family did. Families were able to buy a modest home. The things they didn't have were either because they didn't exist yet, or were still expensive, like flights abroad.

I didn't grow up in a "well off" area either. It was rural, nowhere near any major cities, and professional careers were not available in abundance. Most of the people I'm talking about had pretty ordinary jobs.

Now you need both parents working in reasonably well paid jobs or at least one high earner to have a decent standard of living.

@kitsuneghost this does offer a great perspective in regards to the jealousy.

@alwaysmovingforwards wind your neck in. We are constantly moving, working and attempting to cut costs to help our situation.
But a lot of people are in this boat now clearly and that's very obviously down to the high cost of living and not the act of people wanting to stay miserable and being lazy.

But please, if there's any miraculous suggestions out there, please offer some.

@KL29 I'll have a look!

@Mazuslongtoenail also a perspective to consider. I do agree - especially in this country.

I’m a disabled single parent who can’t work due to chronic pain. Get minimal maintenance from my child’s dad as he’s self employed and cons the cms. I sympathise with your situation but there’s always people better AND worse. I can’t afford your situation and put my child in a club but I know there are people worse than me that cannot afford to eat. It’s just about perspective and embrace what you do have.

@Niknakk I'm already in the process of getting my degree so this box is ticked.

@Livinghappy yes, my youngest isn't in school yet so I'm really hoping that come September a strain will be lifted and I'll feel different.

@Dacadactyl I'll have a Google and try to find that quiz! I'm curious now.

In a lot of cases it's about choice.

Our car was £6k outright and we only have one. Our phones bought for £100 and a £6 a month SIM.

We eat out, take lots of holidays and go to the theatre a lot.

My brother moans. He pays £110 a month on Sky, £800 on cars on hire between him and his partner and £70 phone contracts a month each.

@JustMarriedBecca we still have Freeview TV, no Wi-Fi, with two outright bought second-hand cars (mine was only £900). So don't think we fall into that category

@JustMarriedBecca and in a lot of cases it's not choice!
People did not choose....
A pandemic
Higher gas
Higher electricity
Higher interest rates
A war in Ukraine
Food prices constantly rising
Wages stagnated

It's utter shite.

Nursery is increasing the monthly fees by 165 pounds from April.

We have 2 in nursery 😭 so our nursery bill will go up by over 300 pounds a month.

We also have to renew our mortgage in August. Our mortgage will go up by about 150 to 200 pounds.

Work only gave me a crappy annual payrise of 1500 Euros this month.

There won't be any takeways/fancy costa coffee for us anymore.

We're lucky that we have family abroad and can go on holiday there in summer without paying for accommodation.

I don't understand how people in this country are supposed to handle these massive price hikes on every single front longterm?

@hotpotlover no, the price hikes are just crazy and the wage increases aren't rising in line with it - something has to give at some point!

Lol, except it's not.

Some of you really have no clue.

Life is a struggle at times. Every generation has found this. It usually passes. 🙂

Life is a struggle at times. Every generation has found this. It usually passes

Are things improving though? Look at GDP per capita & wage growth

We lived like that when my kids were little. They are young adults now. The difference then was that I didn't work at all for 3 years, then only part time for a couple of years till I went full time. But that was a CHOICE - kind of. DH's job was a bitch, he was often not here cos worked away or vv long hours so bulk of parenting and house fell to me. Even if I'd have had the stamina to live like a single parent my salary wasn't enough for it to be worth me working (being a trailing spouse doesn't help) as there was no childcare funding for most of that time.

The difference for families now is that most don't HAVE a choice to work part time after children unless the other earner is on very good money and can cover everything. The cost of living is just too high. Access to free childcare is essential now because people like us when our kids were little, not entitled to benefits except child benefit, wouldn't be able to cover their bills if they also had to pay for all their childcare too. They can't decide to just not USE childcare at all, and be a SAHP for a couple of years because the cost of living now doesn't allow that (for most people), even with cutting back on all luxuries.

I feel sorry and angry that young families working their socks off now have very little choice about things when it comes to raising their children. They have very little choice about whether they can have luxuries or not - the answer will usually be no, no matter how hard they work.

Don't you get any free nursery funding where you are?

Know the feeling well, in fact said the same thing earlier.

Own a shared ownership flat, my mortgage went up by £60 in November, my rent is going up by £50. Who knows how much council tax will go up by or what electricity will be in April. Petrol is slowly going up again. My food bill has doubled in a year. Its me on my own and even though I was lucky to get a payrise it's been swallowed up with all the bills going up.

I'm looking at where I can save money but it won't make much of a difference(I already get £20 discount on my basic sky package for example). I don't go out, I go to work and the gym. I can't do a second job as I can work long hours depending on what I'm doing.

It's shit. 14 years of the tories has done this though.

@Boomer55

Life is a struggle at times. Every generation has found this. It usually passes

Oh that’s ok then. Apart from the horrid possibility that the current and future generations won’t actually be able to have any retirement to speak of. So as well as not being able to buy a home, afford basics or
even little luxuries we can expect
to work until we drop. Quite literally. Im assuming you’re a boomer by your username. At what age were you able
to retire?

No one minds occasional hardship - what they do mind is the destruction of the social contract which, in your generation was that you work hard, could own your own home (for many) and that at the end of all that, you see some light at the end of the tunnel - you can retire at a reasonable age, with some years ahead of you to be able to enjoy life to the full. That ain’t the case for people now.

What can we look forward to? After this grind of days? After never being able to purchase a property on two professional salaries or accumulate any savings? What’s the payoff? We won’t be able to enjoy time in the sun, retirement lunches with fellow retirees, leisurely trips and days out. The contract has been ripped up for us and our children, and their children.

Please, if you could give me any further reassurance I’d be most happy to receive it. Just in case I’ve got it all wrong, and y’know, we’re not fucked

Im so skint i couldnt afford a washing machine i had to ask for help from LWA at my council i did not no it existed. Thankfully they approved my online application and gave me £300 to get one.
But im not jealous of others im grateful i dont have their dramas or their debts or having to keep up with appearances.
Just remember we can all take a pitcher and post it online dont mean to say everything is perfect.
Dont believe everything online i dont have any accounts only mumsnet.

Do you have a referral code for Shoppix at all?

It really isn't in most cases. I own my car outright, it's 12 years old.My phone bill hasn't actually gone up (about the only thing that hasn't).I remember being able to buy a 24 pack of coke zero for 6 quid during lockdown. It's now over £10.50 , that's almost a 50% increase in 3 years. Cat food is now almost £5 for 8 tins. Butter is now £2 Electric - my bill has doubled in a year. Petrol during lockdown was about £1, it was143.9 today when I filled up, it was 128.9 a couple of weeks ago and 138.9 last Sunday.