To think niece is being taken advantage of?

[wevegotthepower]

My DN (age 10) is like a DD to me since my sister died a few years ago. I support her and my BIL and am quite protective.

To get to the point.

Their neighbours have two cats and DN was recently asked by them if she'd pop in and leave some food for the cats (all provided in tins) while they were away one night. DN was delighted to help, think it made her feel grown up to be asked.

This was repeated a week or so later. DN again happy and helped out.

Neighbours have now asked her to feed the cats morning and evening over four nights and change their litter box too. She's still keen to help but has clubs etc so I said I'd help too (her dad doesn't like cats at all).

But I can't help feeling the neighbours are now asking too much of her. What do you think? No payment has been made or thank you gift ever offered.

If asked again should I or BIL suggest it's now a cat sitting duty and should be paid for? Or is it teaching DN responsibility and leave well alone?

AIBU thinking DN is getting taken advantage of?

YANBU, 4 nights needs a proper cat sitter.

And I wouldn’t be happy with my 10 year old cleaning up cat poo

I think if they don't offer her anything for doing it when they get back from their four night trip, she (or her dad) should definitely say no if they ask her to do it again. A ten year old would be delighted with a token amount or a small gift, the neighbours are being really mean.

Well I have an actual cat visitor and pay her £16 per visit so £32 a day. Cheeky neighbours are using your dn and saving them lots of money. I can't believe they haven't even given her a pack of sweets or something. Not that it would be enough but it's just awful they have not even thanked her.

To not offer payment or even a gift, is CF territory

Oh they're being very unreasonable. We struggled to get our cats into a cattery/ cat sitter last summer .

We had my daughters friend ( age 14) cone and feed them both morning g and evening. We paid her £10 per day and gave her an extra £10 on top as a bonus !!!

They are taking total advantage and they know it. I pay quite a bit for our cat sitter to care for our cats when we travel, and I would never let anyone do so without me compensating them. Cheeky fuckers.

To add, I also wouldn't be comfortable with my 10 child going in to an unoccupied home alone. Do they just leave the house unlocked?

I used to feed and walk my mum and dad's neighbours dog as a kid when they went on holiday and they always gave me 10 or 20 quid when they got home and usually a gift too. This was in the 90s. Yes they should absolutely pay her something

They're taking the piss. Surely they could find £20 to give her. It would cost them a lot more at a cattery.

I’d see if they bring a gift or pay her, if not then yes I’d say they are taking advantage

If she is happy to look after the cats, and they know a 10 year old cannot take real responsibility, it’s fine BUT she needs to be paid.

They are taking advantage.

I'd leave that to your BIL to make any thoughts on that. You may feel protective, but it's their neighbours and his dd. If you want him to think about it then it would be better for you to say to your bil that you can't help, then he's got to decide what to do, whether he helps or says it's too much for his dd.

For my dc, dd1 wouldn't have done it if paid, dd2 would have done it for payment and ds would have considered it a privilege and honour and not wanted to be paid as long as they didn't mind him sitting and stroking the cats when he was there.

I also have a friend who said she'd get her dd a dog if they did all the looking after the neighbour's dog for the fortnight they were on holiday. They thought a fortnight would show whether their dc could keep up looking after the dog she was begging for. She also honestly thought at the end of a week her dd would be begging her to do it, and that would be the end of the asking for a dog.
I think they had a wobble about day 10, and it was pointed out that if they did get a dog then it would be longer than 10 days. The resulting dog is now 8yo and the dd did all the training and still does all the care and was very good for her - taught her a lot.

I think it's mean not to offer payment or at least a gift. If she wants to do it I would let her though. My DD (nearly 10) would be absolutely over the moon to be asked to do this! She adores cats but we can't have one as DH is badly allergic.

Cat owner here and we had been considering asking the neighbour’s 10 year old if she might occasionally feed our cats when we’re away, so I’m super interested in this thread. But my question would have been “what’s a reasonable pay for this?” - we would never expect her to do it for nothing!

How much?

Wow

My 14yo gets paid £15 a day to feed the cats of one of our neighbours atm. Shes happily paying that as it’s less than half what the cat sitters locally would charge to go in every day.

Plus she always asks me first as ultimately if he discovers an issue with one of the cats, or the house, it’ll be me he rings for help.

I have a hard enough job getting my kids to sort the litter tray for their own cats! They suddenly lose all sense of smell or have urgent things to attend to.

They are taking the piss. I'd be saying no.

No way would I trust a 10 year old to look after my cats. Especially if their dad doesn't like cats.

They are definitely taking advantage of your niece. One feed, fine as a favour. More than that is too much and the litter tray is a total no no. The neighbours should have given the child a small gift for the single feeding as a token of their appreciation. A 4 day task should be a minimum £25 or a token to that amount, it's still a bargain for them. The 4 day is too much however, as you have recognised. Anything could happen to the cats in those days. The neighbours are not good cat owners not good neighbours.

They are definitely taking advantage. Our teenage neighbours look after our cats when we are away and we pay them!

Yes taking advantage. I had to leave my two 5mth kittens to go to a wedding for three days, two nights. I paid a friend's neice, a teenager 18, £60. She wanted to do it so could have some time alone with her girlfriend and my place is closer to her college so suited us both. I also got snacks,sweets in for them to help themselves to. She's offered to do it again anytime I need her. When you've got pets, you have to factor in paid care for them when you go away.

Oh, the cheeky bastards.

Absolutely insist on payment. It's a good life lesson for her, not to be taken advantage of.

You sound like a lovely aunt

I’m so surprised by this. It’s the this a nice neighbourly thing to do? My neighbours used to pop in to feed the cat and fish for my whole childhood. We did the same for their rabbits and cats. I had no idea this wasn’t acceptable without payment!

Yes, clearly being taken advantage of.
The thinking seems to be: Only a kid = free labour.
These people are trying it on.