To have such bad mum guilt that ds was the last one at nursery today

[Likeabrokencup]

Obviously someone has to be the last but seeing him on his own made me feel so sad for him …. He’s fine right!?

Were you late?

As you said - someone has to be last.

Well it depends - last child by a few minutes, understandable & these things happen. Last child by 45mins-1hr or more then that is VVVVU.

As a once off I'm sure he'll be fine but just don't make it a habit if you were really very late.

I wasn’t late although three minutes so it was tight. He was only last by a few minutes but still, long time for a small child.

Do you mean because you were late or just because the other children happened to be picked up before the latest pick up time?

Ah op, this isn't worth ruminating over any longer. Don't guilt yourself, three mins is nothing and he'll have forgotten by the time you're home. Extra snuggle before bed if it makes you feel better.

Someone has to be last! I really wouldn’t worry about this. He knows you’re coming, he’ll be fine!

I'll be honest, that wouldn't be something that I would stress about.

Try and be the first there the next time, someone has to be first and last. My 2 DC were quite anxious so I was never late, but it was only a 5 minute walk away.

Yabu unreasonable to feel guilty, but we've all been there and felt that unreasonable mum guilt, so yanbu. It's hard op but it gets easier. He won't remember and it's done him no harm xx

I bet Fridays have lots of parents picking up slightly earlier than usual, don’t give it another thought.

You're being silly. Your child was in a warm environment and being cared for with 1:1 adult attention. Hardly suffering.

FWIW. I misunderstood the information from school when we moved house and thought they finished at 2pm but they finished at midday on the first day back. My DS (5 yrs old) was waiting about 45 mins for me to collect him.

He wasn't bothered at all at the time, and has no memory of it years later. 😂

Exactly.

It's my day to pick up DS on Fridays and it is always early.

Don't feel bad. When DS first started nursery that was open til 6, he was often the last one from even as early as 5pm. I started saying to them on days I happened to be free earlier in the evening if he's the last one there, phone me and I'll just come down. But obviously couldn't always do that. He actually really enjoyed the 1:1 wime with all the staff on these occasions and "helped" tidy up. Or one would sit with him and put a movie on while the rest cleaned up.

YABU to think this is a bad thing or anything to feel guilty about! If you were constantly late that would be different.

Mine was once the only one booked in for the later session two hours after the second to last child. Unfortunately work hours... however DH managed to get there an hour into the session. She had a brilliant time though, helping them set up for the next week activities. (She was one of the eldest anyway).

If there are first there and last to leave everyday... then maybe feel a bit sad. But last one occasionally, by a few minutes? Don't feel bad.

A one off isn’t going to bother him. We have parents who are persistently late by 5-10 minutes.

No! All the staff all to himself for a few mins I’m sure.

Someone has to be last, as long as it's not always you it's fine.

I was very, very late twice with each of my DC (both times waiting for an ambulance). Someone had a heart attack whilst I was testing them the first time and the second a fit that they weren't coming round from.
The second time DS1 didn't let me forget it for years - "remember that time you forgot about us mummy and daddy had to come......." and no matter how many times I'd remind him I hadn't. He's 17 now and has seemed to forgive me.

I think maybe you feel bad about him being the last one rather than him being there till late. No one likes to see their baby sitting alone, but he was fine. I'm sure now at home he's none the wiser. Don't feel too bad, as you said someone will be the last.

Aww thank you. I had to travel today and the motorway was very busy coming back. He’s normally picked up around 4-430. He was dropped off earlier than normal today too!

YABU. He was probably delighted with the place to himself for a few minutes.

People get delayed, its life. I work with kids and we were worried sick a few weeks ago as no-one came for a child and a full hour went by, no one answering calls and Mum was always on time and local. We honestly thought she had a serious accident. Turns out it was a medical appointment and dad was supposed to collect but 'forgot' and was chilling at home not checking his phone.

We also had a new 3 yr with additional needs (no diagnosis but v obvious) and on his first morning he screamed and clawed at the door for hours, he had no english and was non verbal anyway. It must have been terrifying for him, it was incredibly stressful for us. His parents turned up 20 minutes late. We were literally restraining a hysterical child by then.

Hope these stories make you feel better!!

Our DD is always the last one, sometimes by only a minute or two, sometimes by half an hour. We can't get to her any sooner. Do I feel guilty about it, no. Someone has to be last.

Mine was the last to leave once - I know how you feel.

If I can reassure you - he is now 16 and has no memory of it! I’ve just asked him!

If I could talk to my younger self I’d tell myself not to worry - it’s fine. And as Pp say, someone has to be last!