A stranger threatened to "shoot" me today when I was with my child. was I being unreasonable to call 999?

[BlackFriYay]

I was on my way to collect DC from school, toddler was with me on reins. The seats were full so we went upstairs where there was only a few seats left, next to other passengers.

I sat on the nearest one and put toddler on my knee, I didn't pay any attention to who I was sitting next to as i was sitting sideways with my feet in the aisle and my back to the person occupying the window seat. Toddler was squirming a bit and wanted to get down so as soon as another double seat became available we moved across there.

A man sitting in the area we moved from started playing loud music through his phone, some daft parody song on repeat.

As our stop approached I got up, lifted the little one and was walking towards the stairs, past the strange bloke with the music. As I passed him he said not to ever sit next to him again or he'll shoot me in the face. Confused as hell, I looked up as we got to the stairs to see if he was talking to me and he was. He then said "oh is that a woman?" IE me, then added "never mind I'm still going to do it" whilst making shot gun gestures toward me.

I couldn't get down the stairs quick enough and tried to tell the driver what had happened but he could barely hear me through the plastic. I didn't want a scene I just wanted to get as far away from the prick as I could.

In a panic I called 999 which I'm not sure was the right thing to do or not, perhaps 101 would have been more appropriate. They've made an appointment to come and see me at home on Tuesday which is the earliest appointment they have.

I asked whether they're going to make any attempt to look for the man as he seems dangerous threatening lone women with children. They said they'd circulate his description and If any officers see him they will talk to him?!

Do you think that is sufficient? Am I blowing this way out of proportion?

I felt so, so vulnerable and scared but they don't seem to think it's anything major.

I met a man with mental health problems in Holborn once. He asked me if I had any spare change, I said no and he then asked me if I would say the same if he turned me upside down and shook me. I said I'd still have no change - at which point he opened his carrier bag to show me a revolver, moaned about his brother having been banged up for killing someone who deserved it, and then wished me a good night.
For those saying 999 is an overreaction, what would the answer be if he gunned down a ticket inspector or the mother of a crying baby?

Are you really saying in Liverpool or Manchester people stop and help? I find that unlikely, the bystander effect happens all across the west and Europe not just London. And people do help and report but not in an identifiable way.

WTF? There’s someone out there threatening to kill people and you wouldn’t have called the police?

The police could easily identify him if they wanted to. Most buses are fitted with CCTV these days.

What difference does being on drugs or being mentally unwell make? If anything that could make him more likely to follow through with his threats.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I know they can but the likelihood of the incident being personal and him targeting the OP again is very very low. So as scary as it undoubtedly was, I would hope she's not going to be walking around in fear for the next little while in case he sees and approaches her again.

Surely that’s for the Police to decide. Report to the police and discharge your responsibility. Then if he ever does do anything to anyone else, it’s not on you.

Where in London did you live. I grew up in North London and lived for two years in South London there is a difference. Where I lived in South London in Norbury there was a stabbing and shooting in the road I lived in. In North London in Enfield I felt safer and never heard of any shooting or stabbings.

I am white, he isn't.

I wasn't going to mention this but as you have;

The song he was playing on repeat out loud was by Weird Al Yankovic and is called 'white and nerdy'. It's basically taking the piss out of a white person who wants to hang with the 'gangsters' (black people in the video) but isn't 'cool' enough for a myriad of reasons.

I looked it up as I misheard the words and thought it was saying "white and dirty" which I thought was offensive and couldn't believe he was playing it on a bus.

The song is just a stupid parody but in the context of abusing me I did wonder.

@BlackFriYay
That's terrifying how it's the norm in London for people who need help to be ignored like that 🙁 I'm north west (not far from
Manchester) and it's not that way up here.

It doesn’t matter OP if you think you were being unreasonable or not - you were scared for yours and your child’s safety so your instinct was to call 999 - why wouldn’t it be.

FWIW I think you absolutely did the right thing.

Urgh. That's just the kind of thing that happens in SE6.

No, you did the right thing. Had someone like that stab a young girl in the park. Turns out he suffered from schizophrenia.

OP

You did the right thing

One thing I'll add based on what you posted. In my judgment, you don't know if he is a "threat to lone women and children" only as he could be a threat to anyone ad everyone one
I'm staggered you rang the police and an armed response vehicle did not pull up the bus.

Don't worry, the police will do their bit but you have not noted my previous post about you contacting the garage

At least the police are seeing you tuesday and I'm sure the media will pick up on this thread and send it to cops on the basis it appears they hardly did anything today, but behind the scenes they could have even arrested this man

I'm also safely assuming a bus full of people, some others may have reported it as well and therefore I'm confident the man was at the very least spoken to. by armed officers

I think none of us know who this man was, or what he is capable of. If I was with my child at that young age, I would probably have done the same, due to protective maternal instincts, but now as a woman in her 50s, if I was on my own getting off the bus I'd probably just ignore the guy completely.

I have heard threats and been targeted by threats. Once on a fairly empty train home from work in London (I left early because I had flu) a man started talking to his friend about raping me. I just looked out the window. Fortunately his friend thought it was a terrible idea and redirected their conversation.

Technically, he didn't threaten to kill her, he just threatened to shoot her.

@LimeViewer Yes, I genuinely think if it had happened in Liverpool, Manchester etc others would have intervened.

It sounds trite to say, but up North there is generally a tendency to be more outgoing, and (for want of a better word) “warmer” in interactions with others. People will talk more freely with strangers and in my experience I don’t think I’ve ever had a journey on a bus, train or in a taxi anywhere in the North West without ending up chatting to some random stranger at one point of the journey.

I think it may be this that would mean people witnessing something like what happened with the OP would not go unremarked and without someone saying or doing something, even if it was just to check with the OP that they were ok.

Welcome to my life as a Hijabi Muslim Woman. I get threats of violence and threatened with sexual assult often and not from derranged people. Just "normal" people. Police have never done anything for me. Other then write it down and be on their merry way. Never arrive at the scene on time and the criminals get away. Or cameras don't cover that section. How convenient.

I was with my DS in broad daylight by our local art gallery, DS was 18months at the time. A 18-20 year old with what I presume was a younger sibling and his mother all started to verbally abuse me and threaten me with violence. Bystanders did nothing. On that occasion DS was sick and we were on our way to a GP apt so didnt call the police. And what use would it be calling Police they have never done anything about it before.
Once a Police officer said it is not violence or threatening if others around you didn't feel threatened. The others around me were not Muslim and did nothing anyway. So Yeah.....

@MixedCouple I'm so sorry that's awful!

Yes, I’m afraid I agree with you. I might think that was a deliberate choice of song, which aggravates the situation into another layer.

I am truly sorry. I can’t imagine what it’s like to deal with that.

it’s not even micro aggressions, people are full on emboldened to be racist.

one of my best friends is British-Chinese and the abuse she got from suited commuters during covid was horrific. These people then went on to sit in offices etc.

we always have it in our heads that racists are the gammons and a are minority but it’s just not true. They sit beside us at work.

seeing that made me realise it’s not enough to be not racist, I need to be anti racist.

Threatened to shoot her in the face. I'm guessing not many people survive that.

What a bizarre post.

You do realise a mother carrying a small child doesn't need to ask permission to sit on a vacant seat on a full bus, right?

As for micro aggression, I'm not the one blasting edgy music about somebody's skin colour on a packed bus.

All I did was sit down, so jog on.

A song from an 80`s artist who did piss takes of the culture at the time - Madonna, John McEnroe , wanna be white rappers etc.? He is clearly mentally unwell and you need to get in contact with whoever is a social care contact for this guy and tell them that he needs more support or a strong warning about how he is interacting with the public, he is the one in danger actually if we are being honest.

The music he is blasting isn`t "edgy" it is 80"s comedy, it is the sort of thing someone with a learning disability or mental health issue might latch on to.

I'm not familiar with the music, I had to look it up. Admittedly I didn't listen to it all the way through, only about half way, but it is a weird thing to be blasting out on the bus.

he is the one in danger actually if we are being honest.

You can't be serious.