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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is asking for petrol money unreasonable?

74 replies

Strawberrybuttercream · 23/02/2024 16:22

If you didn’t drive and needed taking somewhere (20mile round trip for the driver) and then collecting later, so another 20 miles, would you think the driver was unreasonable to ask for some petrol money?

If a taxi was going to cost them e.g. £30, would it be unreasonable to ask for £10?

For context, the person in question is a younger family member who doesn’t drive (their choice) and I’m being asked to drive them. It isn’t a ‘oh you’re heading to x, can you drop me off?’ It’s a ‘I need to be at this place at this time and picked up at this time and need you to drive me.’ No offer of petrol money.

OP posts:
Allfur · 23/02/2024 16:23

Of course they should offer, cf

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/02/2024 16:24

As a one off I’d do it as a favour, that’s what I do for friends and family. If it’s routine for them to ask for lifts then tell them that you’ll need something to cover petrol as it’s starting to add up.

Unless it actually costs £10 in petrol I’m not sure I could personally justify asking for that. 40 miles worth is more of a “buy me a drink next time we meet” sort of value.

Versailles2025 · 23/02/2024 16:25

Depends is it your child?

Sibling?

Are you desperate for the money?

How often does it happen?

IncognitoUsername · 23/02/2024 16:25

I don’t drive - in the circumstances above I’d always offer petrol money. If someone drops me off on the way home because it’s raining then I wouldn’t but anything pre-arranged then I would offer to cover the cost of the petrol.

AnathemaPulsifer · 23/02/2024 16:27

For my child I would expect to be asked politely but I wouldn’t charge. For more distant relatives I’d still expect a please and I’d like them to offer to pay petrol.

Sparklfairy · 23/02/2024 16:27

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/02/2024 16:24

As a one off I’d do it as a favour, that’s what I do for friends and family. If it’s routine for them to ask for lifts then tell them that you’ll need something to cover petrol as it’s starting to add up.

Unless it actually costs £10 in petrol I’m not sure I could personally justify asking for that. 40 miles worth is more of a “buy me a drink next time we meet” sort of value.

Edited

‘I need to be at this place at this time and picked up at this time and need you to drive me.’

With an attitude like this (if that's how it was said) they'd be getting no favours from me!

Yes they should offer, but if they didn't, I'd tell them 'sure but I'll need £x for petrol money'.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 23/02/2024 16:27

Depends if it's my own child or not and also their age

Geoff0409 · 23/02/2024 16:28

@Strawberrybuttercream if it was one of my kids I'd do it in a heartbeat, but if not surely it's common courtesy to offer petrol money. That's quite a long way and a taxi would be very expensive.

hopscotcher · 23/02/2024 16:28

Not unreasonable to ask, but if this was a one off for a family member I probably wouldn't.

Shinyandnew1 · 23/02/2024 16:28

If it was my (adult student) child, they would ask and be extremely grateful-probably offering to cook dinner in return!

Who is it?

Icedoatlattelove · 23/02/2024 16:29

40 miles is quite far. So it's not unreasonable to expect petrol money.

rubyslippers · 23/02/2024 16:29

Why are you being asked?
it all depends on context - for a job interview then yes I’d do it but ask for a
contribution for sure
Did they ask politely?

BristolBorn · 23/02/2024 16:31

It won’t cost £10 in fuel

Meadowfinch · 23/02/2024 16:31

A one-off when they can't get a taxi and it's important - job interview, hosp appt etc, I'd probably offer.
Going to the pub, shopping, social, of course they should cover costs.
If it was my ds I'd take him but he would wash my car to say thank you.

Original poster
Strawberrybuttercream · 23/02/2024 16:32

Wouldn’t even be asking if this was my child, but it’s my adult brother!

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 23/02/2024 16:35

Your adult brother should offer you petrol money. Definitely.

FionnulaTheCooler · 23/02/2024 16:37

I'd send him a link to the local bus timetable and tell him you're busy that day.

Versailles2025 · 23/02/2024 16:38

I’d need more context before I decided.

shandee · 23/02/2024 16:41

Not in a million years would i expect my brother to offer me money for doing him a favour. This is an English people phenomenon i think.

Livinghappy · 23/02/2024 16:42

Depends what it's for...hospital appointment ?

I think I would feel more previous about my time rather than petrol money. Do you have to hang around waiting to collect him?

Dinoswearunderpants · 23/02/2024 16:42

Since when did it all become about money and not about helping each other out.

It hasn't even happened yet, he might give you money on the day.

It seems so petty to do a post like this IMO.

TinyYellow · 23/02/2024 16:43

He’s rude not to have offered. It’s right to ask for petrol money if you’ve been put in that position.

CurlewKate · 23/02/2024 16:47

40 miles? I wouldn't dream of taking petrol l money! And 10 quid? Who's the cheeky fucker here!

ancienticecream · 23/02/2024 16:48

I'd ask for a coffee or food, not petrol money.

clpsmum · 23/02/2024 16:50

I'd do it as a favour for my family and friends tbh but would be nice of them to offer