Is asking for petrol money unreasonable?

[Strawberrybuttercream]

If you didn’t drive and needed taking somewhere (20mile round trip for the driver) and then collecting later, so another 20 miles, would you think the driver was unreasonable to ask for some petrol money?

If a taxi was going to cost them e.g. £30, would it be unreasonable to ask for £10?

For context, the person in question is a younger family member who doesn’t drive (their choice) and I’m being asked to drive them. It isn’t a ‘oh you’re heading to x, can you drop me off?’ It’s a ‘I need to be at this place at this time and picked up at this time and need you to drive me.’ No offer of petrol money.

I'd offer for a niece or nephew and accept no payment. I know my siblings would always offer to pay but I'd refuse payment. They could buy my latte next time we met up.

If I was close enough to them to do the favour, I wouldn't think to charge.

If I didn't want to do the favour, I wouldn't do it at all.

But if it was something important like a hospital appointment, or a job interview, then unless I actively disliked my family member, I'd happily do it, and it wouldn't cross my mind to expect payment.

I wouldn't expect petrol money off a family member or friend for this and would refuse it if they did offer.

Just to slightly disagree with others above, on a thread I had posters suggested £5 was fair to offer for a 5 mile trip so it seems £40 would be fair to ask for/offer. There was a lot of talk about wear and tear and the time being used which are fair points.

It entirely depends on your relationship with your brother, and if he does favours for you. If it’s all one sided then I wouldn’t take him, full stop.

I agree with petrol money, the favour is the time and trouble you take out of your day. If they were driving they would be paying the cost of petrol. How does offering a lift mean it’s free? If it’s a £5 then it all helps these days. I would feel much better about asking for favours if I knew the person wasn’t out of pocket.

Doubly so for people who ask like it’s their right!

If strapped for cash maybe. However I f a youngster would defo do it as a one off I think

It depends what it was for, if I was free, how often they asked and how inconvenient the timing was for me.

He needs to learn to drive though

Is your adult brother in employment ie would he have money to offer? If not then I wouldn’t be expecting petrol money and I’d take him. Family first!

For family like your brother it would be nice of him to offer but I wouldn’t accept the money even if it was offered if its just a one off. Unless obviously it’s something that happens every week, in which case I would take the money.

I think that sometimes people who dont drive dont think about/underestimate how much it costs to run a car and so dont think about offering money. And if your brother is a younger adult he may not have made the switch yet from 'I am a child and people take me places' to 'I am an adult and need to take on responsibility for getting to places, including paying for it'. Having said that, I have a non driving cousin who is a massive CF and would have you drive her around for days without offering a penny.

Don't take them. How rude.

No, if one of my siblings asked I would not. But then we are generous with each other so it all evens out more or less!

I would - my son no issue but even wider family so if DSIL or my nephews asked I wouldn’t ask for money. We took nephew for his first day at uni and wouldn’t have dreamed of asking. However we are a small family with no history of cheeky fuckery. You might have a different view with your brother if he does this a lot

Thanks all, it's really helpful to read different perspectives.

If it was something like a hospital appointment, I’d never even consider the money aspect.

This is taking him to where he needs to be and picking him up at unsociable hours. Again if it was a one off, that’s different, but it’s not. He can’t even give me an exact time for collection, he’ll text me 30 mins before he needs collecting. I’ve said 10.30pm is the latest. He’s not a teenager but feels like it!!

I'd ask for £20 for petrol and wear & tear on my car. You'd have to agree it with him before hand. He might refuse, so direct him to public transport.

As it's a family member, you could suggest them getting food next time you see them. It's less confrontational and it can be a social occasion.

The passenger should definitely offer and you should accept.
Your passenger is a CF.

Make sure he does pay petrol if it’s just a social night out. You are cheaper than a taxi but shouldn’t be out of pocket for another adult to go out partying on a regular basis.

Adult brother - yes!

For business, the petrol allowance is 45p per mile, so £10 is definantly reasonable.

He's treating you like an Uber.

Is it about the petrol money or is it just not working for you in general?

I wouldn't enjoy being expected to drop everything and drive an adult about.

It's fine to say you're only going to help in emergencies etc- it might give him some incentive to learn to drive himself

If they actually wrote that exact quote you put in your first post I would not even respond. Exceptionally rude!

dont know if id do it if not a one off he cant assume youre free and ask to be picked u again wihh half hhours notice

I'd send him a link to the local bus timetable

No, no, no!

Let him find his own way around.

"We women are not therapists for men"! or something similar Julia Roberts said.

Op, just say no, sorry or he'll have you over a barrel.

Go to his local Facebook community group, tag him in a post that asks for local taxi numbers. And state clearly you’re not a taxi. Job done.

alternatively just say no