Poverty trap? What to do

[Duckingfun]

I’m on benefits due to having a disabled child who currently isn’t in school.
I want to work, when he’s at a suitable school I will be looking for work. However my rent has now increased in my council house to just under £1k there is no way I can afford it if I work. The better off website says I will be something like £90 a month better off, I want to work but I don’t want to work 40+ hours a week for £90 and then I’d be worse off after travel/childcare etc
Whats the answer? I can’t move and it just feels so unfair that the council raise the rent to the top limit of what they can.

Also with all due respect I haven’t chosen not to work.
I don’t have to work. I could be my sons carer until the day I die. I want to work, so please don’t imply this is a lifestyle choice.

Hi Op

Couple of points?

Do you have anyone that can help you out witll looking after your DC when you work?

Have you considered moving and if you have no support in the area you live in, can you move to a lower rent area?

Importantly, have you contacted the council as where I worked some yers ago the council had free, benefits advisors. They were really good and often helped people from what some of my clients told me when I referred them to benefits advice or gave them the contact details

So many posters on here have absolutely no idea what life is like when you are a sole carer for a disabled child.

It can be impossible to find childcare for a child with disabilities and many children cannot cope with it. Getting a job where your employer is happy for you to be off at the drop of a hat to pick up a sick child or dealing with school refusal and numerous medical appointments is very rare. As OP has said even volunteering to try to get experience and into full time work is incredibly difficult as you often have to cancel at the last moment.

You have my sympathy OP. It's incredibly hard and although I'm sure many people mean well they really have no idea of the reality of the situation.

I also have a disabled child. I work within the carers earning limits. I too could do no work and declare myself just a carer indefinitely. It's a choice, I'm not implying, it is.

If only everyone carers situation was the same

I also work for a charity, and coordinate the volunteers. One of our volunteers also has a disabled child, and three other children. If she can't turn up because of child related issues, then she can't. Most days she is supposed to be with us, she is. Sometimes she's not. It's not really difficult, as PP suggests.

They aren't. But you can be determined to find excuses or you can accept plenty of people in very similar situations make it work. How do you know my situation is not more difficult than OP? You don't.

OP can't afford the house she has chosen to live in. She chooses not to work. Yes she is entitled to just live off carer's allowance and UC. She can't afford her house that way though. She needs to work, or move to an affordable house. Instead of enabling excuses, OP needs to look at actual solutions.

If there isn’t a suitable school have you looked at EOTAS?

You should request an early review of the EHCP.

In the meantime, also request provision s.19 of the Education Act 1996. The LA has a statutory duty to provide a suitable, full-time education. Post on the SN boards if their is refused or you are ignored. The LA’s must also provide anything detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP under s42 CAFA 2014.

It's a choice, I'm not implying, it is.

For many it isn’t. Even the government recognise many carers can’t work.

1. I didn’t choose to live here, we were placed here via a domestic abuse refuge.
2. unless I can bring my disabled child with me, assuming he would be capable of coming with me, I cannot work. He is not in school.
3. I have volunteered when he was at school and let them down due to hospital appointments, needing to get him early, him being put on a reduced timetable or home learning.

Im happy for everyone who can work and juggle life with a disabled child but just because you can doesn’t mean it’s the same for everybody and rather than acting holier than thou making out I have a choice, why not offer helpful advice? Such as other posters who have suggested training or working part time or from home.

Thank you, he currently does online school. There’s a new school recently opened, very tiny and unique and seems perfect for ds so we’re consulting with them along with around 10 others. We were refused a place at every mainstream/special/private school in 3 counties, it’s been an ongoing issue for many years. I’m hoping he can get a place at this school but then if he does I don’t want to uproot us again and have the same problems. If I didn’t have the children I would move tomorrow!

1. Why does this mean you can't move? What an odd thing to say. Are you suggesting you can't ever live anywhere else? Why?

1. And what is your solution to this? Your child should be in the correct facility. What are you doing about this? What is the LA stance? Have you decided the acceptable answer is he stays at home with you every day because it seems very much that way?

1. So he has been at school. And now he's not. This needs to be your focus. It's so weird you default to "well I'll just have to take my child to work then" because this is clearly ridiculous. You need to sort his placement out. What is the barrier at the moment?

While you are waiting for consultations, with EOTAS or s19 provision you can’t be compelled to deliver, facilitate or organise provision. That is the LA’s responsibility. It is not EHE. If DS needs someone to facilitate the online school the LA must fund someone to do that job. And online schooling on its own isn’t a sufficient package. What about the rest of the special educational provision?

If the LA refuses to name your preferred placement you should appeal when you have the right of appeal.

And I'm not "holier than thou".

I could very easily tell people "I don't have to work" just like you. What you mean is, I receive carer's allowance and UC don't insist I find work because of it. If you can't afford your rent, then you do need to work. Or move to a house you can afford. It's literally that simple.

What good do you think it's going to do when you can't pay your rent and all you can say to the landlord "I don't have to work, I'm a carer". He'll be like "well that's lovely, er, pay your rent or leave please"

What you mean is, I receive carer's allowance and UC don't insist I find work because of it.

No, what OP means is, “right now, her caring responsibilities mean she can’t work.”

Choosing where you live when you're homeless, such when you've been in a refuge with a disabled child and are offered a council or Housing Association home, just doesn't happen. Applicants have to be accepted by the local authority, which is usually on the basis of having an evidenced link with that area - living and working there for a considerable period, having evidenced strong family ties, a definitive medical reason why they need to be in that area.

In short, applicants get what they're given because nowhere else will take them on and have no choice about whether it's cheap or expensive - even more so in cases of homelessness, where without someone such as an LA Occupational Therapist confirming a property is unsuitable, it's there or nothing, as they will be removed for refusing what the LA deem suitable.

Ever dealt with a local authority?

I’m sure there will be many people along to set you straight on just how difficult that process is, for a multitude of reasons.

The were put in the area via a DV refuge . I’d wager the family has already been through more trauma and upheaval than most of us can imagine.
Coupled with the fact that OP had said her children attend regular hospital appointments locally, which again, I would bet didn’t come easy or without a fight, I can see why she doesn’t want to uproot them.

She can't work because her son's school place isn't sorted. This is temporary. If she sorted that out she wouldn't be doing the unnecessary care during the day. It's not caring duties, it's lack of school placement.

Except it is caring duties. Who is going to care for her disabled child while she works? Because, right now and for the foreseeable future, there won’t be anyone else. JR and SENDIST take time. They don’t solve the issues here and now. Right now, OP doesn’t even have the right of appeal to appeal to SENDIST. There are thousands of school aged pupils without school placements longer term and a rapidly growing number who receive EOTAS. You haven’t got a clue.

That’s harsh. I find it very unlikely you would do the same. Looking after a disabled child is a full time job and it’s admirable she wants to work at all. A lot of wealthier sahp probably wouldn’t. She would have an even lower income despite having a low income in the first place. That’s a very hard burden to put on somebody in a cost of living crisis. Poverty isn’t a joke. A lot of these comments bashing the op are awful.

Yes. Every day I work I deal with them.

I help people who are in poverty, fleeing DV, in food and fuel crisis. I issue food parcels, I help them apply for council funding/assistance schemes, I issue fuel vouchers, I provide clothing for children, we also provide a free hot two course meal with children's activities for around 150 people every week. I also have dealt specifically with the LA regarding my disabled child's education.

OP may well have been placed in a particular property. She's not imprisoned in there you know. She can, shock horror, move. If this means changing hospitals from say, North Essex, to Suffolk, why should this be an obstacle? It's just going to a different "nearest" hospital.

Again, I hear a lot of excuses, but no solutions. What do you propose OP does when she can't afford the house she wants to live in?

Only allowed to earn £139 a week though

I've probably got more of a clue than most people posting on this thread. Hence my calling out the excuses. It's not through lack of understanding. It's through knowing the system extensively and knowing that 90% of the obstacles OP claims, are down to her choices.

Your posts are showing you clearly haven’t got a clue. You obviously do lack understanding. For many carers, not working isn’t a choice. It is ignorant to think all carers can work.

Moving LA with an EHCP carries risk. The new LA will review the EHCP and potentially reassess, amend or even cease to maintain. Obviously one can appeal, but it is a risk and many, many decide it is too big a risk for them especially if they have a child receiving EOTAS. Moving hospitals with a DC with complex medical needs isn’t always that simple either.

Doing the job too long maybe. You lose empathy as you go along I think in a lot of jobs.