My XP wants to move DS to a different nursery..I don't want him to. AIBU?

[Janos]

Would very much appreciate some impartial advice from mnetters on this one.

XP and I are separated, we both work full time and share custody of DS. I'd say we have an ok relationship, by which I mean we get on for DS sake. Over the past 2 years we have shared joint custody. Half the week he is with me and half with his Dad.

Until recently this worked because we lived within 15 minutes of each other. However, XP moved 30 miles away 6 months ago(his choice, wanted to buy somewhere with a garden - he is very well off and I'm not).

He wants to move DS to a nursery in his new home town 1 day a week. I don't want him to do this for two main reasons - I think it will be yet more disruption for him being moved to another nursery, and also because XP and I both work away from this place. I don't drive so would have to use public transport to get to him. This would take at least an hour. XP drives but it will take about an hour to get there too. I'm really worried about what would happen in an emergency. In all likelihood it would be me that needed to pick him up because my job is far more flexible (hence the lower pay!) and XP works away very frequently and often can't be reached.

XP says his new partner can pick DS up (they have a good relationship)and he also has friends in the area. But surely it should be me or his Dad? And I don't like the idea of being so far away from my son in the event that something goes wrong. Maybe thats just instinctive.

So, AIBU, or precious? I really don't know. My main concern is for DS. Please believe me when I say that I am not objecting on the grounds of spite. It just feels wrong.

Thanks for reading through that, any advice welcome!

[Surfermum]

I would have been prepared to do it pre-dd too - it's not being a mum that gives me that attitude I'm just a nice person .

Janos, has he said why he wants him to go to the new nursery?

[Heated]

Suss out the school you want him to go to nice and early too, especially if you have shared access.

[Janos]

Heated, this whole nursery business has got me thinking about that too.

Thanks once again everybody, I'm off to bed as today + headche + not enough sleep has me worn out.

[Janos]

Update for anyone who is interested, I emailed my XP to say I did not want DS to move nursery. As expected he was not happy and claims he is doing it for DS' benefit.

He doesn't understand why I am objecting. I think he's a bit shocked I have the temerity to disagree with 'his' decision.

As I pointed out, it's not HIS decision to make, it's ours.

[Surfermum]

Good for you. Exactly how does he think it will benefit your ds?

[CarGirl]

Thanks for the update, I would itterate the question, how does your dh think it will benefit your ds?

[Janos]

Well I have an update and I'm pleased to say that XP has agreed that DS will not go to this other nursery! and also

I'm very pleased at this although knowing XP this will not be the last of it.

However, DS stays where he is for now and I am happy with that outcome.

I know it's been said but thanks again everyone for your supportive comments.