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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you try to get a nice seat in a restaurant when out with friends?

83 replies

user1471554720 · 22/02/2024 13:23

I have noticed that when I am out with my friend in a restaurant, I always end up facing her and the wall, whereas she is opposite me and can see the other diners and main restaurant behind me.

The restaurant is small and a certain proportion of tables are up against the wall, where one person faces their companion and then the wall.

Once I arrived early and sat with my back to the wall, so I could overlook the main restaurant. She came after and seemed a bit put out about the seat but said nothing.

Do you try and get a good seat when out? Generally I don't esp, if out with a large group. I don't watch seating but if I am out with one or two, and I am always facing them and the wall. I do notice.

2 members of my family always do this,.

OP posts:
steff13 · 22/02/2024 13:25

I wouldn't necessarily consider the seat facing out a "good" seat.

MidnightPatrol · 22/02/2024 13:26

I think you're overthinking your friend's behaviour.

I suppose there are often 'better' seats at a table, and I suppose if there first you will probably end up picking the one you like the look of best.

crapatmakeup · 22/02/2024 13:26

No I don’t care.

Cupcakegirl13 · 22/02/2024 13:27

I always ask which seat the other person prefers. Im not that fussed myself.

MrsMitford3 · 22/02/2024 13:28

I always like to see my escape route in case of emergency 😂

I am also a bit claustrophobic -I def prefer facing out

DH and I love ppl watching so ideally we can both see everyone-and the waiter

Rialoulou · 22/02/2024 13:28

This sounds like way overthinking, all seats are good seats where you are fed and watered. Why do you want to see other diners? Strange.

Deafening · 22/02/2024 13:28

I hate having my back to a room. Makes me feel very uncomfortable. But I wouldn’t think of it as taking the better seat.

Nesbi · 22/02/2024 13:28

I think this is why a lot of restaurants put mirrors on the wall - so you can both quietly gossip about the other diners without the person facing the wall having to look around 😃

DailyMailHater · 22/02/2024 13:30

I suffer with an anxiety disorder and one of my triggers is sitting with my back to the door (due to some previous trauma in my life) - so I do try where I can to sit facing “outwards” - but am also using various coping techniques from my counselling when I am unable to sit facing the door to deal with it.

DillDanding · 22/02/2024 13:30

I don’t think about it in a group or with a friend. But when it’s just my husband and me, I always try and give him the seat with a ‘view’. Not sure why, I’ve always done it.

user1471554720 · 22/02/2024 13:31

I would not have taken any notice, but on the few occasions I took the seat facing out, I noticed a coolness.

I don't mind in a large group eg 6 or 8, as the table is convivial. However I would not have noticed it if my friend did not go 'a bit put out' when I took the seat facing out. In fact my sister got a bit snappy with me, once when I took the seat facing out.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 22/02/2024 13:31

I have a back injury so I always take the banquet seat by the wall if it’s an option. However I’m aware it’s the better seat and apologise for it. In fact everyone I know offers it to me anyway.

Agree some kind of discreet mirroring does help.

Hadalifeonce · 22/02/2024 13:34

If there is room, I have been known to move my seat and the setting to the side, so we are at right angles.

user1471554720 · 22/02/2024 13:34

My mother and sister like people watching commenting on peoples clothes and overweight people. Thwy probably think the seat facing the restaurant is wasted on me. I used to be plump when younger and am afraid the comnent on anyone.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 22/02/2024 13:35

I usually ask whether a friend has a seat preference if we’re seated together but if I arrive first then I sit wherever takes my fancy.

My dad is somewhat deaf with his old age but far too stubborn to admit it; his audiologist advised that in e.g. restaurants he sit with his back to the wall if possible as this helps with background noise. I imagine there are plenty of other people who do likewise, but wouldn’t want to say why.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/02/2024 13:36

I’d rather face the wall (but not if it has a bloody, great mirror on it).

TitaniasAss · 22/02/2024 13:37

This wouldn't even enter my head.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 22/02/2024 13:50

I don't care as I'm focusing my attention on the people I'm with, not the wider restaurant diners.

Whoever gets there first chooses first.

thepastinsidethepresent · 22/02/2024 13:53

If possible I try to avoid sitting with my back to the room if I can opt to sit with my back to the wall instead. Mainly to avoid having people constantly brushing past me.

Your friend's a bit weird if she's put out she can't have her chosen seat, though, imo.

ancienticecream · 22/02/2024 13:53

I'm fairly assertive so I go for the seat that I want to sit in before everyone's had the chance to think about it. Sometimes I ask my company "do you mind if I take this seat as opposed to the bench, as I prefer support for my back?".

For me, most important factor is availability natural light, the seat itself, and finally a view.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 22/02/2024 13:54

Ha. I have a friend, now an almost 50yo woman, who was an only child. While she was single and more so now she’s married, she always - ALWAYS - considers herself entitled to the better seat / to be served first / to order first / to taste the wine. I pointed it out once, years ago, she hadn’t even realised. She said something about how she’s just so used to life being the main and only person, which is true I suppose as an only child/single person. It’s not a problem for me as my life is the opposite and I’m very happy for her to take charge and make the decisions (makes a nice change for me!). But basically yes. It’s quite an entitled, princess thing to do.

SKG2007 · 22/02/2024 13:56

Rialoulou · 22/02/2024 13:28

This sounds like way overthinking, all seats are good seats where you are fed and watered. Why do you want to see other diners? Strange.

So you go to a restaurant just to eat? Not to interact?

MaverickBoon · 22/02/2024 14:02

One of my pet hates is when the first person to arrive at e.g. a birthday meal chooses the best seat (usually in he middle of a long table, facing out) for themselves with no thought to where the birthday person will sit! I think that's really rude, especially if there are people there that don't know each other too, and no thought is given to what would work for other people/conversation flow etc.

Other than that, I'm not really fussed tbh.

msbevvy · 22/02/2024 14:03

For me it is all about the seat because of my back problem. I always ask for a bench seat when booking.

I don't care at all about facing Inwards or outwards but would hate to be facing a mirror. The last thing I want is to see myself in the mirror shoving food into my mouth.

FinallyFeb · 22/02/2024 14:07

I used to be the mug who faced the wall, how I’m assertive and either say to my fellow diner it’s my turn to have the better seat or I ask the waiting staff for a different table so we both get a better view.